Fellow Comrades,

It is with heavy heart that I bring you this distressing news. In a recent CBS news poll, our Dear Leader has been graded on several topics of importance to the Proletariat. By the outcome of this still-active poll, it appears not to weigh so heavily on the side of Dear Leader's HOPE & CHANGE®. Submitted for your perusal and opinion.

The Economy
A: 4.77%
B: 4.56%
C: 5.27%
D: 17.80%
F: 67.60%

Foreign Policy
A: 6.80%
B: 4.19%
C: 7.67%
D: 21.66%
F: 59.68%

Health Care
A: 7.14%
B: 3.01%
C: 2.87%
D: 8.31%
F: 78.67%

Afghanistan
A: 5.67%
B: 13.60%
C: 25.96%
D: 22.84%
F: 31.93%

Iraq
A: 5.79%
B: 10.08%
C: 24.39%
D: 23.77%
F: 35.96%

Threat of Terrorism
A: 6.63%
B: 4.92%
C: 9.74%
D: 21.19%
F: 57.52%

Energy and the Environment
A: 5.66%
B: 5.56%
C: 12.70%
D: 21.03%
F: 55.04%

Social Issues
A: 6.71%
B: 4.69%
C: 10.82%
D: 18.95%
F: 58.84%

Bipartisanship
A: 6.60%
B: 3.12%
C: 4.00%
D: 8.08%
F: 78.20%

Obama's Overall Job as President
A: 6.28%
B: 4.03%
C: 3.69%
D: 22.25%
F: 63.76%

No worries. Just have the MSM say that F means "fantastic".

I have a terrible tear, lingering on my cheek. What is wrong with the proles?! Can they not see his glorious achievements?!! Look at the good well and spreading of wealth, that he alone has accomplished! Not to mention Mama Mo in Europe, spreading Amerikan wealth to the needy there! (ole Laura, need did that!).
Where is the Pole Czar? I DEMAND AN INVESTIGATION.

Actually Comrades, some minor adjustments have already been made regarding the 'F' grade:

From FAUX NEWS:

What's a kid gotta do to get an "F" these days?

At a growing number of middle schools and high schools across the country, students no longer receive failing marks when they fail. Instead, they get an "H" — for "held" — on their report cards, and they're given a chance to rectify their poor performance without tanking the entire semester.
Educators in schools from Costa Mesa, Calif., to Maynard, Mass., are also employing a policy known in school hallways as ZAP — or "Zeros Aren't Permitted" — which gives students an opportunity to finish the homework they neglected to do on time.

While administrators and teachers say the policies provide hope for underperforming students, critics say that lowering or altering education standards is not the answer. They point to case studies in Grand Rapids, Mich., where public high schools are using the "H" grading system this year and, according to reports, only 16 percent of first-semester "H" grades became passing grades in the second semester.

This pole was taken before Michelle Antoinette embarked on her "Spread American Culture Tour" and is therefore irrelevant. (The Arms of America)

Since when did the Tiffany network become the network of HATE! HATE! HATE!

I suppose Tiffany is really a white slave holder and the network is her hordes of people of color who tire in her fields being whipped with percentages and other instruments of polling pain. Shame on CBS for being a racist Fox News-esque organ of mass misinformation! SHAME!

WOAH! For someone so deadset against the 2nd Amendment, she sure got some BIG GUNS!

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Since when did the Tiffany network become the network of HATE! HATE! HATE!

I believe the 'coming out' began during the Bushhitler years.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I suppose Tiffany is really a white slave holder and the network is her hordes of people of color who tire in her fields being whipped with percentages and other instruments of polling pain. Shame on CBS for being a racist Fox News-esque organ of mass misinformation! SHAME!

Comrade, this is more information than needs to be revealed. You are at risk of exercising verboten freedoms that are in direct conflict with the Party™!

Where's a wanton intern when you need one. That would change the ratings faster than Dear Leader could light one of his mentor's cigars.

Leninka wrote:Where's a wanton intern when you need one. That would change the ratings faster than Dear Leader could light one of his mentor's cigars.

Comradette Leninka,

I was just thinking that very same thing, being currently short of interns myself. It seems others in the Party have exhausted the current ration thereof.

I think Roseanne smells blood in the water, or was it just some fried joooooz cookies?

Comrades, do not be for getting up in arms. The CBS for which the Whinny is to be of speaking is not the Tiiffany channel. It is from Christain Bull$hit Station. We all to know just how insane is to be the Southern evangelical peoples with their Bible banging and shrill pulpit speeches. Sometimes I am to be of mind to be throwing book at People of the Book.

Fear not comrades!

Papa Obama always has a winning plan even if his teleprompter breaks

Comrades,

That poll was culturally biased, just like every other device, statistically valid or not, that shows disbelief in President Obama and his Enlightened Cabinet.

I denounce komrade Whinney for publishing such hateful racist propaganda. The poll was no doubt taken at an elite bourgeois private corporate run kapitalist country club! How dare you print such lies! Dear Leader deserves better, especially after last night. From glorious KGB TV:



Dear Leader deserves a statue of him in the center of Times Square Cordoba Square in the heart of New York New Mecca. He is doing a most excellent job of feeding CHOPE™ to the masses and is undeserving of any of your criticisms!

Comrade frank,

BREAKING NEWS: The poll came from The Ministry of Truth CBS department. The results were made to reflect how reichwingers perceive our Dear Leader™ and how they want him to fail. CBS is an accurate Party™propaganda media source that supports our Dear Leader™.