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Notice to Criminally Insane Commissar Vodkov

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Ah, Criminally Insane Vodkov, I have been patiently awaiting your appearance and I see that you have finally had the courage to show up. Wait, don't run away! I have what I believe to be good news for you! You see, due to the Chairman's still unexplained absence, and unfortunate delay in your show trial as ordered by Hillary, you may well have avoided the sure and swift judgment that no doubt awaited you had the show trial went off as scheduled.

As Commissar of Mental Health, I am required under General exemptions pursuant to subsection (j) of the Status of the Criminally Insane Act. - 71.50 to inform you that the Statue of Mental Limitations has elapsed in your case. All that is required of you to close your case and seal the records is either an admission that you were temporarily insane at the time you made those comments that you did, or a simple note from your mom excusing you. Once that is completed, you will no longer be considered criminally insane.

Now that does not necessarily let you off the hook, since needless to say, Hillary could always decide that the trial must resume. However, the results of the exhaustive psychological tests that you were given will be considered null and void, and can not be used as evidence against you. Between that, Hillary being somewhat busy with other matters at the moment, and Lenin knows what the Chairman has been doing all this time, will most likely free you back into a healthy and productive Party member, one that even I would welcome.

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Commissar Pup,

I have just returned from voluntary reducation in the jungles of Cambodia. What better time of year to visit a reeducation camp than during "Christmas" - this symbolic time of middle class reactivism?

I feel refreshed and ready to carry out many executions during the new year. Ohh the thought makes me feel warm inside!

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Kommissar Vodkov wrote:Ohh the thought makes me feel warm inside!

Are you sure it is not the Vodka?

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ZB

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Criminally Insane Vodkov, who doesn't know when to keep his bottle corked, wrote:
What better time of year to visit a reeducation camp than during "Christmas"

HATE SPEECH! He uttered a word that offends all good Progressives with its non-inclusiveness, especially members of the Religion of Peace.

I am traumatized. So much so, in fact, that what you've said amounts to a personal attack, for which I shall I have to turn you in.

Now, do you have anything intelligent to say?

I thought not. I do believe the trial is back on. In fact, I will collect signatures if necessary to put it back on the table. Every time someone clicks on this thread, that'll be one more signature on the petition for the resolution to bring you to show trial for your crimes and insanity.

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Can we use necro-proxy clicks also Commissarka Pinkie?

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Dear Commissarka,

Sorry about your trauma. Can I make it up to you? Perhaps candlelight dinner?

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Kommissar Vodkov wrote:Commissar Pup,

I have just returned from voluntary reducation in the jungles of Cambodia. What better time of year to visit a reeducation camp than during "Christmas" - this symbolic time of middle class reactivism?

I feel refreshed and ready to carry out many executions during the new year. Ohh the thought makes me feel warm inside!

Then being that the Statute of Mental Limitations has expired, and you have met said requirements, you can no longer be considered criminally insane unless further examination is ordered. However, that being said, that does leave you open to criminal charges should the Party wish to pursue this further. But I have not been asked to act as the prosecution.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:HATE SPEECH! He uttered a word that offends all good Progressives with its non-inclusiveness, especially members of the Religion of Peace.

Now to be fair Commissarka, Commissar Vodkov did use the Party approved " " when referring to that offensive holiday to show his contempt. Of course, on the other paw, life isn't always fair is it?

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Commissar Pupovich wrote: Then being that the Statute of Mental Limitations has expired, and you have met said requirements, you can no longer be considered criminally insane unless further examination is ordered. However, that being said, that does leave you open to criminal charges should the Party wish to pursue this further. But I have not been asked to act as the prosecution.

That is good news although I was kind of starting to like the "criminally insane" label. It made me feel special! It made me feel like I was above the toiling masses. I mean, how many of our comrades have been labeled "criminally insane" and pursued by Party apparatchiki?

Only a few hundred thousand at most!

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Commissar Pupovich wrote:
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:HATE SPEECH! He uttered a word that offends all good Progressives with its non-inclusiveness, especially members of the Religion of Peace.

Now to be fair Commissarka, Commissar Vodkov did use the Party approved " " when referring to that offensive holiday to show his contempt. Of course, on the other paw, life isn't always fair is it?

Well! I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you're taking up for Vodkov, Pupovich, when you're soaking in some pretty hot water yourself for plotting to usurp Chairman Meow! Honor among birds and thieves of a feather and all that.

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I have never plotted nor even considered usurping the Chairman! Lenin forbid! I have merely volunteered my services to the Party to serve as Vice Chairman during those times when the Chairman is shall we say, indisposed, for extended periods. I have a lot of Vice and merely wish to offer the Party all the Vice I can deliver.

Nor am I "taking up for Vodkov" per se, merely following established policies and procedures, Hmmmm, the real question is, why are you trying to subvert Party policies and procedures?

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Pupovich, he said a very bad word! A word that spreads hate and intolerance, and takes us back to the old days when people only spouted one very narrow, non-inclusive Winter Solstice greeting. A word that makes millions feel left out, as if they don't matter, as if they're not People, too.

You don't let someone off the hook for something like that, ever. First he has to make an apology. No, make that a series of apologies:

a. Through his publicist.
b. In a prayer breakfast with Jesse Jackson
c. At a luncheon with representatives of CAIR
d. In an interview with Roy Firestone on ESPN.
e. On "Larry King Live"
f. And finally, on "The View" where he'll have to give open-mouthed kisses to both Joy and Whoopi.

That should cover all the apologies, after which he has to step down from whatever his current position is.

And then he'll have to make financial reparations in the form of a large donation to the Empress's campaign.

Now, does ANYONE here have anything INTELLIGENT to say?

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Must I remind you that Commissar Vodkov committed far more heinous crimes than that for which he was to be tried, yet conveniently for him, the Chairman went awol while Hillary was calling for him? In fact, it was for that very reason that I offered my services as Vice Chairman. But not to worry. the People's millstone of justice may grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Now, does ANYONE here have anything INTELLIGENT to say?


Can I open mouth kiss Whoopi Goldberg?

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ZB

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Now, does ANYONE here have anything INTELLIGENT to say?

Ummm... uhh... err...

Nope.

Nopthing comes to mind, wait, what mind?

THOUGHTCRIME!!!!!!!!

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a. Through his publicist.

I don't have a publicist. Only imperialists have publicists. If I had one I should be apologising for that.

b. In a prayer breakfast with Jesse Jackson

Is voodoo progressive? I didn't know that!

c. At a luncheon with representatives of CAIR

I meet them all the time. They are my favorite useful idiots.

d. In an interview with Roy Firestone on ESPN.

Ok ok but only if comerade Kalashnikov can come with me - heavily armed.

e. On "Larry King Live"

Another useful idiot. I would do that For the Children™.

f. And finally, on "The View" where he'll have to give open-mouthed kisses to both Joy and Whoopi.

Not a chance. I'd rather circumcise myself with a nuclear weapon.

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Premier Betty wrote: Ummm... uhh... err...

Nope.

Nopthing comes to mind, wait, what mind?

THOUGHTCRIME!!!!!!!!

Ah, Premier Betty has finally shown back up.... who has also been missing mysteriously along with the Chairman.

What else comes to mind? Collaborator? Co-Conspirator?

Er.... Welcome back Premier.... I do hope you have sobered up or got over what Lenin knows what you have been up to the past few weeks.

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Kommissar Vodkov wrote: I'd rather circumcise myself with a nuclear weapon.

At last! This must be the most sensible, profound, and coherent thing anyone has said all day.

Finally we can start having an intelligent exchange of ideas around here. There may be hope for you yet, Vodkov.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
Finally we can start having an intelligent exchange of ideas around here. There may be hope for you yet, Vodkov.

Yet another attempt at subversion. What has "intelligent exchange of ideas," intelligence or thinking in general to do with progressive thought? Nothing. Progressive thinking is about thinking like you're told, nothing more. Anything beyond that is thoughtcrime and "intelligent exchange of ideas" is high treason.

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Under HillaryCare, funding will be provided to bring thermonuclear cicumcision to the masses; it is the right of all people to have access to this vital medical procedure.

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Commissar Pupovich wrote: Er.... Welcome back Premier.... I do hope you have sobered up or got over what Lenin knows what you have been up to the past few weeks.

Thank you Commissar, I have been incapacitated by a combination of Assassin's Creed, Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, and Gears of War. I have since had time to return after completing the first two mentioned. It's gewd to beh bak.

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Vodkov: Progressive thinking IS the intelligent exchange of ideas! I will give you an example below. And by the way, this could be two people talking, ten people, or even one person blogging to the soothing background chorus of chirping crickets:

"I hate Bush."

"F**k Bush, and Cheney too."

"They're ruining this country."

"They're killing millions."

"Why don't the Democrats get a spine and bring our troops home?"

"And impeachment, don't forget impeachment."

"They ought to impeach Pelosi for not impeaching Bush and Cheney."

"You dunderhead! You can't impeach the Speaker of the House. And as for impeaching Bush and Cheney, what've you got?" [THIS POSTER BANNED FOR VIOLATING AGREEMENT FOR TERMS OF USE]

"Hey, we don't need no f**kin' trolls in here with their hate. We're trying to have an intelligent exchange of ideas here, and we don't need you reichwingers coming in here to shove your fascist crap down our throats."

"Glad that idiot's gone. Where were we? Oh yeah. Bush sucks."

"F**k Bush. He's completely destroyed this planet."

"F**k all Republicans. Every last one of those bastards has destroyed the planet."

"How can they not care about what's happening to the planet?"

"Because they're a bunch of selfish hatemongers who don't give a s**t for anyone but their own rich a**es."

"Oh, why won't it hurry up warming so it'll burn every last one of those wingnuts to a crisp and we won't have to deal with their s**t anymore?"

"Better yet, why won't their stupid Rapture come and suck them all away, so we can have what's left of the planet to ourselves before they destroy it all?"

"I hate Bush."

"F**k Bush and his war for oil."

"I'm voting for Hillary. I want change again. The same change we had in the '90's, only without Newt and his Contract out on America. I'd rather be circumcised with a nuclear weapon than see the Republicans back in power."

"LOL, if Republicans got back into power they'll do it to ya anyway, dude!"

"F**king Bush. I hate all Republicans."

And so on and so forth, ad nauseam, Vodkov. You can find that exchange anywhere over at Daily Kos.

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Very good summary Commissarka! I'm impressed. Very impressed! You haven't given your answer regarding that candlelight dinner earlier in the thread!!

However just to make things clear - progressive thought is only called intelligent exchange of ideas to fool the People™ into accepting our programming. When they have accepted our thought control programming, it will enable them to simulate "intelligent exchange of ideas" by making preprogrammed statements in Newspeak such as the ones in your summary.

By the way, your summary sounds suspiciously like a liberalising thought control program. Are you perhaps a professional in the field?

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And don't forget Kommissar, being further up the beet chain and more equal than others, we are allowed a certain amount of lee way in our progressive thinking.

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Aww, Pinkie, you stopped the transcript before the "tolerant" and "openminded" progressives got to the part where they would line up all who do not believe thier views and have them shot.

But we see your point.

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Have no fear Comrade TankoGrad! Her Excellency will take care of all that once she ascends to the Presidency for Life. Even before the RethugliKKKans, the Useful Idiots will be the first to the wall!

I already have my AKSU cleaned and lubricated in anticipation!!!

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ZB

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Did you hear the Empress cry in that interview? Oh, I feel for her.

Empress! We are here for you! Right behind your back!

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I heard it also Pup and was moved to...um.... a high state of emotion.

It was all I could do to not stick out my bottom lip and feel her pain!

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It is just not right! Why doesn't every one listen to the Empress? She has nothing but their needs in mind? She works so hard to bear their burden, and to hear her cry like that.... how can any one not vote for her?

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This conclusively shows that Socialism = Compassion. And as our Many Tittied Empress is the ultimate Socialist (on par with Marx, Lenin, and Ted Kennedy) she feels compassion for each us of that is not as elitistly educated as her!

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