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Obama Cuts ISIS Unemployment

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WASHINGTON D.C. - President Obama is the most equal and sensible man. His tactics show he cares for those who are less fortunate. The less fortunate are the jobless ones who live in the Islamic Caliphate. He decreed that these people need jobs to make them happy and stable. After talking to his advisors, he came up with a new strategy, airstrike by drones.

Every airstrike must wait on his approval, and he calls ISIS officials up with details of the airstrike over ISIS territory. ISIS gets some time to evacuate their people from the buildings and then ISIS gives the go ahead. The condemned building is destroyed to make room for a larger building. It is one way to do a demolition with taxpayer money. The next phase is construction.

Construction projects give more jobs which help these people with finances in their goat marriage. How can one put dinner on the plate without a job? The kids will not go hungry with the O-bama plan. Sometimes more workers needed so they add state approved slaves to speed up progress.

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I heard he also opened some new butcher shops?

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Dedhedvedev wrote:I heard he also opened some new butcher shops?
They are on every corner and called Planned Parenthood. They do abortion, assisted suicides, and euthanasia. They sell all of the parts.

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Hammer and Loupe wrote:
Dedhedvedev wrote:I heard he also opened some new butcher shops?
They are on every corner and called Planned Parenthood. They do abortion, assisted suicides, and euthanasia. They sell all of the parts.

They part them out like a car!? Where can I find the parts, Pepgirls or something? Or can my Napa store or hospital order them for me? I might wanna keep a few around just in case something happens on the kollektive farm and I need to replace a liver or something. And, while you're answering questions, could you tell me where I can get a rusty needle and some electric fence wire? That'd make the menagerie complete for the kollektive farm. I know that the People's Obamacare offers the same level of care, but I'd think that the sooner you can get things patched the better. We don't want fellow Komrades in hospital not producing things for the Kollektive or the Party for 2 weeks when they could be in for just 2 days.

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I keep asking at what age is this selling of childrens body parts ok until? I have a 17 yr old who really doesn't need 2 kidneys or 10 toes and I really want a GT-R

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I was speaking of the poor ISIS butchers who are reduced to working outside, under unsanitary conditions and no refrigeration, because they can't afford their own shops. Thank Obama that this horrible situation is finally being corrected with money from the Stimulus Bill.
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OksanaTheTerrible wrote:I keep asking at what age is this selling of childrens body parts ok until? I have a 17 yr old who really doesn't need 2 kidneys or 10 toes and I really want a GT-R

I'd think it'd be okay, just call it a "Late-term abortion". If the prosecution doesn't accept that just say that they were an enemy of the state, a traitor, and that they deserved to die.

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I SAW ENOUGH! Ha, ha, just joking... I can never remove enough limbs to satisfy Great Leader. This is good job security with unlimited beet vodka ration.

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
OksanaTheTerrible wrote:I keep asking at what age is this selling of childrens body parts ok until? I have a 17 yr old who really doesn't need 2 kidneys or 10 toes and I really want a GT-R

I'd think it'd be okay, just call it a "Late-term abortion". If the prosecution doesn't accept that just say that they were an enemy of the state, a traitor, and that they deserved to die.
Good point! I've always called my kids the poster children for birth control..but as long as I can claim them as dependents, I should be able to sell parts. It's like a car, you get more for the parts than you do the vehicle. No one wants to deal with her attitude anyway. I should have my new ride in no time!

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OksanaTheTerrible wrote: Good point! I've always called my kids the poster children for birth control..but as long as I can claim them as dependents, I should be able to sell parts. It's like a car, you get more for the parts than you do the vehicle. No one wants to deal with her attitude anyway. I should have my new ride in no time!

Oksana, you're ripping off the government! The program you're describing is called "Cash for Clunkers"!

Get down to Mexico, bring a bottle of vodka (Over 150 proof) or moonshine, some suture, a needle, and a scalpel. "Jack up" the "car" and "uninstall" the desired parts. The next step? Well, there are untold bounties to be had in the southern land of opportunity.

[OFF]

Also, Teenage Girl!? Ouch. I've never been a parent but I've heard many horrifying stories. I'd rather have a threesome with Hitler and Stalin than deal with a teenage girl.

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Comrades, this article can be found in Craigslist.


 
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