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Obama Executive Orders Support the 'Right to Bear Alms'

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A government-sponsored study has discovered that the Founders made a rare spelling error in writing the Second Amendment to guarantee an individual's Right to Bear Alms, when they misspelled "alms" with the unintended result being the "right to bear arms."

Today, President Barack Obama surrounds himself with the wisdom of children in reiterating his "longstanding" support for "Second Amendment rights" by issuing Executive Orders on Guns, Ammo and Alms.

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Dear Comrade,

But, what are 'arms'? This is the greater question. The Party considers all tools of violence 'arms', such as sticks, stones, and CDs of violent rap music. Citizens may bear these arms, while arms that could be used for counter-revolutionary purposes, such as semi-automatic hand guns, should be surrendered to the State for the protection of children and minorities.

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All star leaders hide behind children. Seeing there is no "child shield" thread this will have to do. In a glorious effort to do whatever it takes to appear concerned about saving the children, Comrade Obama follows our Jihadist friends of the Religion of Peace and hides behind the people's children while terrorizing the people's enemies.

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I always thought that the Founding Bitter Clingers had actually written "The Right to Arm Bears" because they were also the founders of PETA. Nazi Rethuglican NRA members changed the wording while everyone was taking a tofu break and it was not noticed.

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There has been a terrible mistake. It is clear the constitution gives us the right to bare arms, and feet, ankles, and any other appendages, the better to engage in Free Love. Unless of course you are a Muslim woman, or extremely ugly.


 
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