If passed by Congress, this upcoming year certain privileged Party members will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment! This exciting new program will be explained using the Q&A format.

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers in the form of a welfare check refundable tax credit.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers of course!

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a very small fraction.

Q. Who is eligible and how much money will they get?
A. Obama is very generous and he will give every American family (who makes less than $200,000, $175.000, $150,000 , $120,000 likely to drop further) a welfare check of $1,000 euphemistically called a refundable tax credit.

Q. What is the purpose of this pay-off payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set or a new computer, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Uhmmm...Er... no! Of course not! Because of the fact that...well it's complicated, we'll get Tim Geithner, George Soros and David Axelrod to explain it to you.

Q. Is Obama really going to drastically cut taxes on the poor and middle class of America?
A. Yes! Isn't that wonderful? The number of of Americans who pay no federal income tax will dramatically rise from the current one-third of all households in America to more than half!!

Q. Doesn't it seem that this strategy will just create a permanent electoral majority that does not pay taxes, but counts on ever-expanding welfare checks from the government as well as guaranteeing that they will always vote Democrat?
A. The phraseology of your question clearly demonstrates Thought Crime! What is your name, party rank and serial number for processing for the nearest re-education camp.

Comrade Proletarian Robot,

Allow me to assist:

LISTEN UP PROLES! Here's how it works. When you go to the PPPX and buy a can of Pepsi, you pay .55 CEUs. After consuming the Pepsi, you return the can to the store and get .05 CEUs back. You've received a stimulus payment of .05 CEUs. Trackin? Good.

Now, imagine that the .55 CEUs is actually several thousand CEUs, some Obamissar spends it for you on some shit you would never buy, like an ATV trail or STD research or Tab soda, and gives you back 500 CEUs for singles or 1000 CEUs for married couples. Imagining? Good! Now you understand how this benefits the Party, and ergo, you.

I'll be waiting for the Thought Criminals who question the sustainability of this policy down at Platform 4. Bring cool clothing and a rake- the Sahara is looking mighty ragged.

-Obamissar Vodkavich,
Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products

The PPPX honors only rubles. And..."favors."

Comrade DDR Kamerad!

Last weekend I was visiting your old stomping ground, East Berlin. I couldn't believe how non-progressive things were since Bu$Hitler destroyed the People's Wall. I did see a few fur hats and a Trabi, however. Stay tuned for pictures and more info in an upcoming post...

-Obamissar Vodkavich
Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products

Strange last year when I received my Bushitler check it was applied to taxes I owed that year. Was funny, it cut my tax bill in half. I still am scratching my head over that one. Perhaps Obama will do the same for my yet unpaid taxes for 2009. What a glorious nation we live in! (I can't wait to get my land in the Political Subdivision of Alaska paid off so I can get up there before it is redistributed to some illegal alien in San Diego who is deemed more worthy of it than me)

Q: What will people who are not certain privileged Party members receive?
A: Anal stimulus.

Opiate of the People wrote:Q: What will people who are not certain privileged Party members receive?
A: Anal stimulus.

Not entirely correct, Comrade-who-makes-the-people-feel-good, since the People's Rump Ranger^tm, Sen. Barney "Reacharound" Frank, gave everyone a good rectal probing while he fished for brown trout with the Fannie Mae exec in the late '90s, and set up the Sub-Prime Bomb in the process.

We were all equally sodomized, economically speaking.

I recommend Camwad Bwaney Fwank for Obamissar of Ass Piracy and Industrial Lubricants. Perhaps he can serve with Comrade Red Star, as there are always some "back doors" that even Star's semi-evolved simians won't kick down.

-Obamissar Vodkavich
Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products