“P” Is for Progress... Oh, and Plagiarism, Too

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Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.was not a president of the United States - at no time in his life did he hold public office. He was not a hero of foreign wars. He never had much money, and while he lived he was reviled at least as much as he was celebrated…

http://usliberals.about.com/od/extraordinaryspeeches/a/ObamaMLK.htm[/JUSTIFY]



 

Comrades, communists, fellow socialists, lend me your ears;
I come to praise Obama, not to bury him;
The evil that men do lives after them,
The good is oft interred with their bones,
So let it be with Obama ... The noble Punchenkus
Hath told you Obama was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Obama answered it ...
Here, under leave of Punchenkus and the rest,
(For Punchenkus is an honourable man;
So are they all; all honourable men)
Come I to speak in Obama's funeral ...
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Punchenkus says he was ambitious;
And Punchenkus is an honourable man….
He hath brought many captives home to Rome,
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Obama seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Obama hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Punchenkus says he was ambitious;
And Punchenkus is an honourable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Punchenkus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Punchenkus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then to mourn for him?
O judgement! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason…. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Obama,
And I must pause till it come back to me.


I whipped this speech up five minutes ago. Thinking of basing a play on it. Think I can find anyone to back it?
 

As a plagiarist I’m know plagiarism when I see it, and yes its plagiarism. However in Obama’s case I’m less troubled by the thievery, than the by the laziness. Laziness on the part of the speech writer/writers for not altering the lines enough so it looks like inspiration not plagiarism. Laziness on the part of Obama for not vetting words put in his mouth, although maybe he thought they were original, if so that is also troubling.

Then there is Comrade Otis’s point. Since Shakespeare has any writer had an original idea? If that wasn’t your point Comrade Otis forgive me.
 

An original and inspirational response to my friend Otis:

Be patient till the last.
Communist, socialist, and my many, many lovers! hear me for my
cause, and be silent, that you may hear: believe me
for mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that
you may believe in a place called HOPE: censure me in your wisdom, and
awake your senses, that you may the better judge.
If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of
Obama’s, to him I say, that Punchenkus’ love to Obama
was no less than his. If then that friend demand
why Punchenkus rose against Obama, this is my answer:
--Not that I loved Obama less, but that I loved
the Party more. Had you rather Obama were living and
die all slaves, than that Obama were swiftboated, to live
all free men? As Obama loved me, I weep for him;
as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was
valiant, I honour him: but, as he was ambitious, I
swiftboated him. There is tears for his love; joy for his
fortune; honour for his valour; and a swiftboating for his
ambition. Who is here so base that would be a
bondman? If any, speak; for him/her/it have I offended.
Who is here so rude that would not be a Democrat? If
any, speak; for him/her/it have I offended. Who is here so
vile that will not love his/her/it's Party? If any, speak;
for him/her/it have I offended. I pause for a reply.
 

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of Obama;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our Party
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of mounting barded steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
But I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks,
Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;
I, that am rudely stamp'd, and want love's majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
I, that am curtail'd of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deformed, unfinish'd, sent before my time
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,
By drunken prophecies, libels and dreams,
To set my sister Hillary and the Obama
In deadly hate the one against the other:
And if King Obama be as true and just
As I am subtle, false and treacherous,
This day should Hillary closely be mew'd up,
About a prophecy, which says that 'G'
Of Obama's heirs the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here
Hillary comes.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

as a college student, when I write a paper or present an idea I have to make certain that my idea or the words I use to convey that idea are completely mine and totally original.



I never have that problem.

http://www.schoolsucks.com/
 

Chairman, one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity! Use the Audacity, Chairman. Use the Audacity.
 

And so my fellow Socialists; Ask not what Obama can do for you, but for what you can do for Obama!

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

All collectivist men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berkeley. And therefore, as a collectivist man, I take pride in the words "Ich bin ein Berkeliner!"

There are many people in the world who really don't understand-or say they don't-what is the great issue between the free world and the Communist world. Let them come to Berkeley!
 

Plagiarism is totally uncalled for, comrades! There should be no plagiarism. That's right--all works of writing belong to The People!

Writers who think no one else should be allowed to copy their work are nothing more than greedy capitalists and dangerous individualists, who want to keep all their thoughts and ideas for themselves, and share them with no one. I ask you, how is that supposed to benefit The Greater Good?

I also ask you: Is it fair that some people have a talent for writing, and others have none? NO! That some people take the time to do research and put things into their own words, while others don't feel like it? NO! Can the latter help the way they feel? OF COURSE NOT! Should we start punishing those people just because of how they feel? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Those with no talent or inclination to put things into their own words are obviously victims. Therefore, they have every right to copy the work of those with greater talent, and they should not have to live in fear of being persecuted for it! It's only fair. Remember, "From each according to his ability . . ." etc.

But until next Tuesday . . .

WARNING: All material in this post is protected by the copyright laws of this planet, and may not be reproduced, recorded, quoted, paraphrased, criticized, questioned, doctored up, or otherwise mangled in any way or for any reason without (a) express written permission granted by Commissarka Pinkie (all requests must be made in the form of a written supplication with absolutely no errors in spelling or grammar on high quality white bond paper, 20 lb, 84 bright, 1" margins and black ink only); (b) appropriate attribution to and accolades for the author, Commissarka Pinkie; (c) sufficient financial payment as demanded by Commissarka Pinkie. All payments must be made in cash (U.S. currency only, smaller denominations preferred; vodka may be included but not substituted), and deposited directly in the Commissarka's bank account in Fiji. Failure to meet any of this criteria will result in a minimum of five years in the reeducation center and a fine paid directly to the Commissarka, for at least double the amount you should have paid to her in the first place, plus interest, penalties, and assorted processing fees.
 

I am but a simple Pup, but does not every president and presidential candidate use speech writers, yet they give them no credit. I dare say the idea that when one writes one must make sure their idea is completely original is absurd for many people may come upon the same idea independently. It is when you use someone's idea that is not yours, and you knowingly use that idea without giving credit.

Four score and seven years ago our comintern brought forth on this continent a new collective, conceived in Liberalism, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal, but some more equal than others.

Now we are engaged in a great electoral war, testing whether that notion, or any notion, so conceived and so depraved, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that vote. We have come to dedicate a portion of that webspace, as a final resting place for those who here gave other fool's lives that that notion might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not propogate—we can not consumate—we can not swallow—this webspace. The voters men, living and dead, who struggle here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the Party Elite, rather, to be dedicated here to the contributions which they have brought here have thus far increased. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to grabbing the remaining before us—that from these honored spoils we take increased subsidy to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these voters shall not have died in vain—that this collective, under God Lenin, shall have a new birth of socialism—and that government of The People™, By The People™, and For The People™, shall not perish from the global warming earth.
 

Chairman!

As your most loyal and devoted socialist sycophant, may I ask a question? I certainly do not wish to disturb your Che, I mean chi, but I feel like I could certainly profit...er benefit from your shared wisdom. Would you be so kind as to share with me why you are in a college class? Clearly there is nothing even the most erudite liberal intellectual professor could teach you, their grasp clearly falls far short of yours. So what could be the plan here Chairman? Is their material contributions that have been untapped? I can not imagine the struggle it must be for you to sit there silent when some rank amateur tells you that you must have some assignment done, or demands your attention etc. So clearly there must be something to be gained that I have not been able to deduce so far. If those haughty professors only knew that there was a Kennedy in their classroom, a Party Chairman in their presence, they would surely die.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenkus

An original and inspirational response to my friend Otis:

etc, etc, etc.

My god Punchenkus man, but your words bring tears to my eyes. That was beautiful. But, that's why you're the Chairman; you don't steal - you liberate.
 

I don't know why I'm quoting you, Comrade Otis -- your words might as well be my words.

[STRIKE]Comrade Otis[/STRIKE] Chairman M. S. Punchenko

But, that's why you're the Chairman; you don't steal - you liberate.


Yes! I liberate Other People's Words (OPW) for those who are without, Comrades. Why, I am a People's Hero doing the business of the People by delivering unto them re-packaged inspiration from long ago. And who is to say that the eloquent and inspirational passages that Comrade Otis and I recited are not our own? Hmm? Who I ask? Surely not future generations, Comrades - not with us in charge of Publick Eddukashion.

Intellectual laziness - and the promotion of such - is our hammer to pound out American creativity, ingenuity and free-thought -- just look at how Hollywood is leading the way with their remakes! And who among us will need to think of originality when there is thousands of year's worth of inspiration just sitting idly by and waiting to be re-packaged for later use? Who will need to think when there is someone else to do the thinking for them? Who I ask, Comrades. Who among us would not want to live in this Utopia, this, this Progressive World of Next Tuesday!? Who needs Shakespeare - a filthy white male - when you have Punchenko and Otis to enlighten you with a slightly modified - but all the same original and inspirational - spin of his (now the People's!) classics?
 

Not to mention that the copyright has expired on those necro voters Shakespeare etc. I take it I must remain in the dark as to your reasons for suffering the indignity of sitting in a classroom Chairman? That is fine, I am used to being in the dark. The dark is comforting,