So the One and Joe Biden saunter into a hamburger joint to show America that they're just a couple of average guys. Obama orders a cheeseburger and then asks the clerk if they have any Dijon mustard. You're kidding me right? Mustard on a hamburger is weird enough, but Dijon mustard? That's like John Kerry asking for some gourmet cheese on his Philly cheese steak.

Obama is the sort of negro snob that decent black folks used to sneer at and call "High Yella."

I realize that he's more equal than most and all that. But if you're going to pretend to be a prole at least get your act straight before you make a fool out of yourself.

Yes, this may be true, but his approval ratings went through the roof in France.
That's important!

It is good Obama is popuar in France. That will show the rest of the world what kind of person he is.

Wow, this must be proof that the economy is starting to get better.

Break out the Lipitor!!!

Well comrade "Anonymous 12354634" if that's *really* your name, denounce me if you wish, call me Trotsky and plant an ice axe in my head. But I tell you, Obama has betrayed the revolution. His bowing to the Saudi King and his appointment of so many "Czars" shows a troubling and unhealthy fascination and identification with the aristocracy. His continuance of Bush policies like military tribunals for detainees and the bombing of innocent, albeit well armed, wedding parties in Afghanistan shows he can not be trusted. I hate to say this, but I miss Bushitler, at least he was the devil we knew.

Comrades:

You are being too critical of His O'liness. Years of eating Lady Macbeth's Michelle's cooking has jaded his taste buds.

Besides, Queen Elizabeth II likes Tobasco sauce and is granting them a Royal Warrant. Perhaps His O'liness is thinking of doing something similar for Grey Poupon.

Grey Poopchute on a hamburger? In salad dressing or on a ham sandwich, sure. But it's yellow French's mustard on a hamburger. Mayonnaise is an effete Yankee affectation. The proper hamburger is bun, grilled, meat, cheese, Best Maid hamburger dill pickles, onion, lettuce, tomato, and mustard.

So mote it be.

Comrades,

I am old enough to recall the disgraceful capitalist Grey Poupon ads where two Rolls Royces going i opposite directions would pull up beside each other and one capitalist would say to the other, "Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?" The bottle would be passed but no money would exchange hands, those being so enriched and bloody with the residue of crushed proletariat on them that payment was not even worth going through the motions.

But enough of that, for I have learned that some vicious though criminal is spreading evidence that Comrade 0bama was a subprime borrower. Good thing we're in good hands!
<br>Then there's ol' Hairplugs who knows how to work spark plugs and--rowrr!--girl plugs, as indicated in this article. If ol' Joe takes such good care of his wheels, you know he's doing his best for all the rest!

Thank goodness this is a progressive website or else we might have to suffer the indignity of jokes about being "just a heart attack away from butt plugs."

Commissar Theocritus wrote:
So mote it be.

{karakter off)

Commissar Theo:

Are you by chance a Wayfaring Man? I hear that phrase only at certain occaisions.

No, I am not. I merely like anachronisms. A lot. I even use "chid" for "chided," never use "loan" as a verb and other things which tend to make people's arteries bulge. The signifier for my advance into middle age is where I draw the line between what I perceive as being educated and what is actually precious.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Grey Poopchute on a hamburger? In salad dressing or on a ham sandwich, sure. But it's yellow French's mustard on a hamburger. Mayonnaise is an effete Yankee affectation. The proper hamburger is bun, grilled, meat, cheese, Best Maid hamburger dill pickles, onion, lettuce, tomato, and mustard.

So mote it be.

Ah yes, my brother puts mayo on his burgers. I almost threw him out of my house once, so egregious a mistake this is.

You Commissar are correct with the condiment selection. If the onion is a vidalia, so much the better.

Or a Texas 1050 grown in the low-sulphur soil of the Pecos Valley.

Bacon doesn't hurt either.

That's why I don't like Big Macs. That "special sauce" is nothing but Thousand Island Dressing. It ruins the whole burger. Take away the patties and buns and it's just another soggy potluck salad.

But I do like barbecue sauce on burgers. And--Theocritus--bacon!

In college in the 70s there <i>were</i> no all-night places except Jack-in-the-Box. Someone found that the secret sauce--Thousand Island dressing--was tasting funny. They found one of the employees was making it even more secret by adding his urine to it in the middle of the night.

There was one all-night restaurant within miles, and in Houston, mind you. House of Pies. You'd find it occupied at 2 AM by cops and Rice students. Only five years later my then best-friend Ron and I were going to a seminar and I took him there for the cream-cheese pie. Cheesecake, really. The complexion had changed utterly. There were no mixed couples; the waitress thought we were on a date. I nearly burst laughing--he's straight. He thought it funny too.

Oh, and Pinkie, in Texas there is Whataburger. You can get your onions and jalapeños grilled.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Oh, and Pinkie, in Texas there is Whataburger. You can get your onions and jalapeños grilled.

Ah, Whataburger! You know, Comrade Commissar, if it wasn't for them, this comrade would have starved after Hurricane Rita. They were one of the first businesses that reopened after the storm, even if they could only offer a "limited menu" (regular ham/cheeseburger, fries, and soda); it took another week before most everything else was up and running again.

I have an old friend Ron, who lived next door to the man who started Whataburger, in Corpus, in the early 60s. He was a kid then but he said that Harmon Dobson had been a guest of Hitler and had dreamed of a huge hamburger when there. This was supposedly the impetus. The banks thought who would want such a huge hamburger? Well, I do, when I can.

I also heard that Dobson died in his private plane. If you travel in West Texas you notice that lots of the Whataburgers are on the right-hand side of the road going out of town. He thought that people would want to get food while leaving town and so would fly over the town in his private plane looking for site. And he ran out of gas and died.

That's what a friend told me; don't know if it's accurate. He was after all a kid.

Commissar Theo, I have not thought about Whataburger in years, and have not considered their breakfast on a bun in about 10 years. I do miss Whataburger, and HEB from the time I lived in the Big Spring collective.

The Midland HEB is doubled in size; have you been to the Central Markets (upscale HEB) in San Antonio, Austin, or Dallas? 30 feet of cheeses. A fish market 50' long. Much better than Whole Foods.

I went to Midland once or twice when I was in Big Spring. I still remember the reactionary sign that bragged "Home of the Presidents" though. I did all my HEB shopping in Big Spring, and sadly never got too far outside of Howard County when I was there. I would have loved to visit Austin.

The People's Republic of Austin is a very progressive city. San Antonio on the other hand is one of the true delights--the River Walk is great fun. Dallas is pretentious with the biggest asshole drivers in Texas. It's an overgrown market town. Houston is an overgrown oil town. El Paso is an overgrown barrio.

I remember stopping in El Paso. Disgusting place. One of these days I'll go back and visit Texas. It's a great place. Even if it is full of Texans LOL.

Since El Paso is only 200 miles from me, and the only city of size a couple of hours' drive, I spend a fair number of weekends there. It's okay but you have to know it. One very good restaurant; three or so fairly good ones. Not much for a city that size but it has utterly no tradition of culture, arts, or dining.