Dear Comrades,

Comrade Chairwoman Michelle Frazerovna Obama's People's Collective Garden #1 at the White Fortress has been affected by the government shutdown, which prevents her from weeding and tending the vegetables under her supervision. Under State regulations, only certified gardeners from the Nationalized Parks Service are licensed to pull weeds and pick vegetables.

Because of the counter-revolutionary wreckers known as Republicans, Comrade Michelle can only look on with tears as her beautiful garden goes to waste. She herself cannot tend the garden, as this is work only for specially-trained personnel, which are affected by the government shutdown staged by the reactionaries in the People's Congress.

However, the iron will of Comrade Party Chairman and Future President Barack Barackovich Obama will help us persevere, and eventually the Bourgeois cowards of the Republican Party will capitulate to the will of the People. In the meantime, Comrade Michelle is planning to convert the garden into the People's Collective Compost Pile #1, after which all USSA gardening will be patterned in the near future under the Let's Move 5-Year Plan©.

The Secret Service Police have warned that any attempts by volunteers to weed the garden will result in immediate arrest and possible liquidation. During the shut-down, State labor laws will remain enforced.

The People's Collective Garden #1 will rise again as organic compost! Struggle to reopen the State and pay our essential certified weed-pullers!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

Nomenklatura-climber wrote: ... In the meantime, Comrade Michelle is planning to convert the garden into the People's Collective Compost Pile #1, after which all USSA gardening will be patterned in the near future under the Let's Move 5-Year Plan©.

Is not all of White House and Congress already a compost pile?

Comrades,

Certain "friends" tell me they've seen Moochelle and Dear Leader tending the garden in their spare time. Dear Leader enjoys practicing left-hand/right-hand shovel play, while Moochelle has somehow stumbled across cooked lobster! I have a photo taken yesterday afternoon.

Moo certainly has a red thumb! How DOES she manage to grow the lobsters pre-steamed on plates with a side of mashed potato?

This isn't the first collective garden that "fascist insects" have shut down. Let us not forget, dear comrades, the agricultural paradise of Jonestown, Guyana.

The Peoples' Temple might have created a true utopia had it not been for kapitalist thugs like Congressman Leo Ryan and his henchmen. How could such a humble, egalitarian man like Jim Jones withstand the hatred of his reactionary detractors. He and his vanguard did the only thing they could: commit Revolutionary Suicide in the name of organic produce. Fists in the air everyone! Long live the memory of a glorious comrade who sacrificed himself (and over 900 of his followers) for the Greater Good™.

Right now, the many squirrels who live at the White House seem to have gotten even more aggressive with the low level of human intervention. The squirrels are always a problem in the garden, eating the berry crop in the summer months. But they're now kids in a candy store, gorging themselves.

Anyer Marx wrote:Moo certainly has a red thumb! How DOES she manage to grow the lobsters pre-steamed on plates with a side of mashed potato?

That is because prior to the government shutdown, the Potemkin White House Garden was the envy of the world! Fully grown vegetables would miraculously appear overnight for the First Lady to harvest for photographers the next morning. If only more tax dollars were invested, I am sure the answer to world hunger would be found somewhere in this modern Hanging Gardens of Babylon.

Chairman Meow wrote:

Right now, the many squirrels who live at the White House seem to have gotten even more aggressive with the low level of human intervention. The squirrels are always a problem in the garden, eating the berry crop in the summer months. But they're now kids in a candy store, [highlight=#FFFF00]gorging themselves[/highlight].

Gorging themselves? Gorging? Where's your evidence, comrade?

This doesn't sound good:

Still, the squirrels are also serving their country. They've been spotted eating the volunteer mushrooms that have newly colonized the grounds.

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No, Chairman. I must go back and have a look around the garden personally.

Captain Craptek wrote:No, Chairman. I must go back and have a look around the garden personally.

Thank you for your service to the White House Garden and the President's Shroom Gang.

Chairman,

I'm certain this isn't you, but maybe a distant relative - very distant??

Is that arugula growing next to that lobster?

Anyer Marx wrote:Moo certainly has a red thumb! How DOES she manage to grow the lobsters pre-steamed on plates with a side of mashed potato?

LobsterGarden_web.jpg

Try to find anything on the web about collective gardening, and I end up with this: