Recent embarrassing reports of the vessel MV Akademik Shokalskiy, which has been on a global warming research expedition with 74 scientists on-board to Antarctica, getting stuck in the ice after a blizzard's whipping winds pushed the sea ice around the ship and freezing it in place, has provided ample fodder for opponents of made made global warming.

However, what has not been reported is that a parallel research effort was also being conducted by The People's Navy, whose preliminary data results seems to have confirmed that global warming is in fact melting ice at a much faster rate then it was before.

With a research grant being provided by the Obama administration, experiments were conducted on-board a specially modified research barge.The People's Navy ensured that the tax-payer provided funding was not wasted and that only Eco-friendly materials were utilized with the modification of a People's Navy barge to act as the research platform for the expedition.

After the Eco-friendly modifications were completed, the expedition then set out for Tahiti with a team of elite scientific party members. Each were chosen for their selfless dedication to the party. The ability to endure hardship and to be able to toil away from their loved ones for long periods of time were also factors considered prior to being chosen to conduct this invaluable research.

The scientists day started out with conducting daily temperature readings at various times on the upper platform of the barge that had been modified for maximum sun exposure. The scientists then filled specially modified glasses with an icy slushy concoction playfully called a 'margarita' by the research team to mimic arctic conditions. The team then carefully calibrated the melt times of the 'margaritas' to the corresponding temperatures.

The results astounded the team. As the temperatures rose during the day to an average high of 88 Fahrenheit the slush concoction melted faster then at lower temperatures in the morning or evenings. The team attributes this to man made global warming but has not quite yet made a 100 percent positive correlation. More research is needed and additional grant money has been requested from the Obama administration to continue this most vital research.

Comrades, forgive me for being graphically challenged, but I would love to see a T-shirt for this ‘voyage'

Have it entitled:
And at the bottom a disclaimer:

*Proper carbon credits still need to be paid for the rescue of the ‘world tour'.

Comrade Commodore, in a parallel and separate research study to enhance the body of knowledge, I have personally chilled gin to the temperatire of freezing water and added ice. No effect was observed, however, the addition of room-temperature tonic did in fact cause my miniature icebergs to melt with an accompanying loss of polar bears. I still cannot find the polar bears, so man-caused warming is in fact validating Al Gore's airtight theory. Research continues...

Commodore, I was unaware that the results of our expedition aboard the Tiki Beach were to be published already! But then, time does fly, much as margaritas do melt.

It was truly a glorious and equally scientific endeavor, comrades - and the tans on the scientists' skin, due to their scant clothing and the effects of a Globally Warming sun, were a wonder to behold, especially on those Tea Party progressive Party girls!

(psssst - Tovarichi - nice try at deflection ;)

My colleagues at the State Science Institute and I brought our Hokey Sticks, but alas!


The Global Warminsk Climate Change melted all of the ice in the hockey rink. No games for us busy Scientists! It's back to work. There is still much work to do vilifying the Denialists who work for the oil companies proving our case to the People.

In order for liquid water to freeze into ice it must release its heat into the environment (PBUI). Ergo, freezing water (aka ice formation) causes global warming.

I would suspect that the carbon footprint of the global warming research expedition is quite smaller now that the carbon belching vessel cannot be used. Naturally these special eco credits will be transferred to pay off the production costs of all Greenpeace bumper stickers. Remember voting Democrat automatically earn one 20,000 eco credits, add a Prius and another 10,000 eco credits.

trashmouth wrote:I would suspect that the carbon footprint of the global warming research expedition is quite smaller now that the carbon belching vessel cannot be used. Naturally these special eco credits will be transferred to pay off the production costs of all Greenpeace bumper stickers. Remember voting Democrat automatically earn one 20,000 eco credits, add a Prius and another 10,000 eco credits.

Yes, is it not wonderful how many ways there are to earn these credits? Consider:

Replace mercury-laden fluorescent street lights with regular electric bulbs outdoors and earn credits for not using toxic mercury.

Replace incandescent bulbs with mercury-laden fluorescent light bulbs indoors and earn credits for using less electricity.

Use electric or hybrid automobile and earn credits for using more electricity.

Is not progress delightful?