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People's Pop Photo Quiz!

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...because keeping the proles off balance helps the Party to instill fear and retain control.

1. What is the grand high exalted mystic ruler doing in this photo?

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a. Turning Japanese, I think he's turning Japanese, I really think so!
b. Attempting to read his speech from the teleprompter built into his shoes
c. Checking out his latest approval ratings
d. Which one is the grand high exalted mystic ruler?

2. In this picture, Michelle Obama is wearing

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a. Her wedding dress
b. Barack Obama's Halloween costume
c. The future national flag from the People's Republic of Obamistan
d. Out her welcome.

3. In this photo, Congressman Barney Frank is

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a. explaining the concept of redistribution to an aide
b. initiating a new congressional investigation
c. checking the lad for hidden mikes... as well as hidden georges, phils, leons, etc.
d. proving that progressives are truly feeling people

4. This postcard is

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a. used to accelerate projectile vomit to concrete-breaking velocities
b. the new Death Card, supplanting the Ace of Spades
c. probably a fake since no photographer could have taken it and lived
d. found to terrify lesbians

5. Why is President Obamavich sticking his finger in his ear?

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a. The people on his left were bothered by the light shining thru his head.
b. So he doesn't have to listen to any idiots to the right of him.
c. He's attempting to brush his teeth from the inside.
d. He's not sticking his finger in his ear, this is just another vile rumor started by Fox News.

Scoring:

Correct answers vary according to The Current Truth™ and are subject to historical revisionism. My suggestion is to keep your answers to yourselves, comrades, as the political winds may change without warning.

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Opiate, Bonnie Fwank was not, as one might think, copping a feel of that young man. He was copping a feel of that young man's <i>wallet</i>. So that's okay then. I personally have no problem with kinky sex, as long as you're holding someone else's wallet. I mean, if raping is rapine too, then it's very progressive.

This reminds me. Does Bonnie Fwank support free Viagra in Obamacare? I think that for Bonnie Fwank to continue to serve in his exemplary fashion he should have a foley implanted for </a>Caverject.</a> After all, it's damned hard screwing 307,000,000 all day and night without getting a bit droopy and if anyone could use Caverject, Bonnie could.

And Barry Hubris Obama was actually looking for fleas to eat.

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Theorcritus, you above all people should know I would NEVER insinuate a progressive icon like Bonnie Fwank was being inappropriate. For one thing, it is not possible for a progressive icon to act in such a manner. Any sexual advance from a highly-placed progressive is always viewed by the object of said advance as a great honor. Back in the days when Bill Clinton was denounced for playing "find the cigar" with Monica, the progressive female pundits of Amerikka stated as much and declared they wished it was them who smelled of Bill's stogie. And certainly no waitress has ever made the case it was anything but wonderful to be part of a sandwich with Angelo's best friend Chris Dodd and Massachusetts's favorite diver Ted Kennedy. No, any true Amerikkan, womyn or non-womyn, should be joyful if hit on by a Progressive hero leader, for it is their chance to "take one for the team" as it were. It is the leader's divine right and the lowly prole's duty. And, we can't complain about them doing to us literally what they've been doing metaphorically for generations.

Commissar Theocritus wrote: This reminds me. Does Bonnie Fwank support free Viagra in Obamacare?

It doesn't matter, Congress will not be subject to ObamaCare. As far as the proles who will be covered, there is good news and there is bad news. The good news is yes, one can get it. The bad news is that it increases the chances the requestor will be secretly ground up for soylent green asked to consider end-of-life conseling.

Commissar Theocritus wrote: And Barry Hubris Obama was actually looking for fleas to eat.

No, he was apologizing to them for the diseases Amerikka spread and for which the fleas were blamed.

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Comrade! in the midst of being funny you left out all the currently true answers, let me fill the in for you.

1. answer e: Double-think A and D inorder to satsify your otherwise conflicting beliefs created by the "volutary" reeducation classes you took in racial awarness and the history of our Dear Leaders.

2.answer e: the dress that (what i am going to assume is) the lady on her left was going to wear but swaped with Michelle to prove how equal she is.

3. Answer e: clearly photoshoped but the propegandists of the Iron Heel and a desperate attempt to create an anti-gay backlash against that righteous servent of the Godvernment.

4. answer e: all of the above

5. answer e: well he was trying to stick it up his nose to show his support for the nose-pickers of america but he missed. For the third time in a row. (The first two 'misses' have been censored for preserve a sense public decency.)

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Cthulhu, you may have something right about the first two attempts at being censored. There was a rumor that one time Barry Hubris Obama sat down without being told to and broke his finger. This was after his 12-step program to stop his autoencephaloproctologizing. Before he stopped being an autoencephaloproctologer, he sat down, without thinking, and sprained his neck. Then farted and had to postpone a presser to wash his hair.

Opiate, thank you for showing me that picture of Ms. Resentment in her baby-doll dress. I had never realized that she had a foot-long torso and five-foot legs.

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Commissar Cthulhu, this little quiz has nothing to do with being funny, for we progressives are a serious bunch and have no sense of humor (not when 80% of Amerikkans go to sleep hungry for free healthcare, anyway!) In fact, Comrade Stalin was the only progressive leader known to tell little jokes about himself, which he did only so he could shoot the first person who laughed. When the commissars finally caught on to this gambit, he shot the person whom he felt made the least sincere effort to contradict his self-effacing remark.

Commissar Theocritus, I wonder if Ms. Obama showed up at her $300,000-a-year VP in Charge of Shoe Sniffing hospital job or her gig on the board of Treehouse Foods dressed like that. Good lord obama, the woman looks like a pumpkin patch.

Incidentally, isn't the cheesecake of our beloved Nanski quite fetching? Don't you think it should be made into a billboard and placed along America's interstate highways in order to give illegal immigrants good cause to consider turning around and going back from whence they came?

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Oh, Opiate, about Nanski's cheesecake. Now you know that I don't take a sexual interest in women's gams but there is <i>something</i> about Nansky Belly Boobs Peloski's legs which just speak to me. Here in Texas we have whooping cranes, you know. And at times, when the light if fading in the west, the sun casts certain shadows across my favorite impaling stakes...

Somehow Nanski's gams fall into that category.

Cthulhu, Opiate is quite right that we Made Progressives have no sense of humor. Have you seen <i>Who Framed Roger Rabbit</i>? The weasels start laughing and then explode. Their leader hits them, "You know what happens when you start laughing," but they do, and die.

We Made Progressives never laugh. Because we do not recognize anything as being ridiculous. Anything that we do, of course. Now there are times in the middle of the night when I think that progressive opinions on say Islamist murderers could make a cat laugh, but then I dose myself with a barbiturate and when I wake with a pounding head I've forgotten all about it.

So expunge laughter from your repertoire. You'll die if you can laugh.

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Don't you think it should be made into a billboard and placed along America's interstate highways

Yes, we ought to make the billboards and here is why--given the nature of the typical crimes committed by repeat border crossers, they might become doubly inclined to go further north.

Which is of course what we want, because we need more needy, victimized people to need us as we drive the Revolution inward. So build those billboards! Maybe Boxer Baby would volunteer to advertise as well. Luring needy people to Cali is what she does best. She drives out kapitalists with the skill and ease of a "paid professional."

And when we doubt whether or not we should have opened the floodgates to the North American masses because our woman have been plundered, we can chant together, "We are all victims. We all suffer as One. The One suffers for us and with us. All for One, One for all."

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Don't you think it should be made into a billboard and placed along America's interstate highways in order to give illegal immigrants good cause to consider turning around and going back from whence they came?
Comrade what did i say about preserving a sense of public decency? such sights should be locked deep away, under chernoble perhaps. Reserved as a reward for the most progressive citizens or as an emergency torture tool. Only the most equal of no longer useful idots should ever be allowed to see such things.

And what do you mean don't laugh? not even at The Ones Rhetoricle jokes about the Rethuglicans? that is dangerously unprogressive comrades I suspect that you must reconsider your double think.

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It is unprogressive of us not to throw open our borders entirely to anyone who wants to enter. And if a Rethuglican thinks that someone named Nidal Achmed, who has shaved his body and is surrounded by a very thick jacket in 110-degree weather is a terrorist with a bomb, then the Rethuglican is at fault for thinking this. Obviously the problem is not with the terrorist freedom fighter, but with the one who notices it.

This is a progressive notion. If a ray of light falls into a pig sty and shows the shit, it is the fault not of the pig shit but of the ray of light.

So anyone who promotes financial responsibility or personal responsibility is de facto the enemy and should be sent to the gulag.

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The progressive kollective kitchen will soon be offering a new item: "Kenya's Kollective Kup." It is a heart-warming koffee drink made from a special blend of Kenyan beans harvested by fairly paid workers (kapitalists pay for their food, homes, education, medical care, drug rehab, etc.) It can be taken black or with creme or half black and half creme--whichever is convenient at the moment. Just state your preference at the border. Unlimited redistributed wealth beverages will be yours for the taking.

Current progressives who already frequent the kollective kitchen may trade in a beet ration for a large cup or a potato ration for a small cup. You may choose from several flavors: black licorice (especially enjoyed by non-racists), baklava for military personnel, and spicy jalapeno for border patrol officers.

With just the right amount of caffeine, the moldy recycled grounds will keep even the least ill healthiest dissenter awake for midnight marches and the coldest gulag newbie warm, or at least not stiff. Everyone who drinks it will feel good. Anyone who does not enjoy "Kenyan Kup" will be shot and their cup redistributed. As usual the kollective kitchen's suggestion box is on the wall, but if you suggest anything, you will be shot again and your beet ration given to the kook.

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CC, have you thought of becoming the Comrade Casserole Czar Progressive? You could be CCCP.

In some threads Meow (Chairman Punchenko) had posited People's Tasty Créme. Well, he said Cream but I decided to frogify it to make it tonier. We love the French, don't we? I have lots of French rifles which have been dropped only once.

PTC is, er, well, shit. But there's lots of it, and you don't get uppity when you make a diet of it. And you never have to go the grocery. All you have to do is get an iPod filled with Barack Hubris Obama's speeches--you know, like the one he gave the Queen of England--and all that bullshit can feed an army for years.

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What exactly does being CCCP entail? Do I get privileges and responsibilities surpassing that which I already enjoy? Maybe sitting a little bit closer to the fire in the evenings or upwind from those who have experienced People's Tasty Creme first-hand?

I will check out Meow's Tasty Creme: maybe it could become a famous tasty two-some with the KKKup. Like Peanut Butter and Jelly; or Barry and Michelle; or Crackers and Cheese. Can you think of any other winning combinations? Hmmm...

The PTC sounds like it is sure to let out the flatulent praise so welcomed by Dear Leader...garbage in, garbage out they always say!

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CC, if you become CCCP, you will be entitled to dress in this:<center> Image </center>
You can proudly show your allegiance to the Motherland. Of course you'd better do is soon for after the reign of Barack Hubris Obama, the USA will become the USSA.

PTC is very useful for feeding proles. I on the other hand would not want to eat it myself; it is not for Made Progressives. It is for Rethuglicans, and for the lower classes who comprise half of the Democratic Party.

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I think I would like to become CCCP because I love this t-shirt. Blood Red and Utopian Yellow are my favorite colors! It reminds me of McDon't-ask-me-to-speak-English and it will go well with my organic recycled paper pants (which are great unless you have an accident, then the sports section could melt away, leaving one terribly vulnerable).

Since you do not care for PTC, I hope you won't mind that I set out a plate of communal cookies for you...they only have a few bites in them already. And the sour milk is in the pitcher next to the ice box. (Since there was no electricity for awhile, it actually stayed colder on the counter.) And shhhh...it's on the house--the bailout "trickle-up" effect finally made it's way to the kollective kitchen!

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Thank you, CCCP, thank you. I love gently worn cookies.

But do not worry about not caring for PTC. We in the inner circle do not have to care for PTC. We pay lip service, not lip usage, to deprivations. You think that the Holy Gore stints himself? He lives in a house which uses ten times the energy of the Bu$hitler. He has a yacht, the Bio-Solar One (presuming there will be more) and it lives in a lake without biodiesel. And until someone pointed out that it had no solar panels, it didn't. He flies in private jets, and when he gives speeches, with huge honoraria, he insists the limousine be kept running lest he be hot or cold.

The Holy Gore is our patron saint. He is the Primate of the First Church of Climatology. And he's bat-shit. He's entitled. He's supercilious. He's mean.

Get it? All you have to be is
1. Bat shit
2. Entitled
3. Supercilious
4. Mean

And you can give all the PTC to Breasts Not Bombs and Code Pink and eat all the prime-grade red meat that you want. I for one on Thanksgiving will be eating in a restaurant in Austin which will serve me a rib-eye aged by them 21 days, and before that will have sevruga caviar.

I can do that because I'm 1 through 4 above.

I hope that this clarifies things. And you can do it too.

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I am only corrupt, vicious, exploitative, and immoral. But I aspire to the top four and know that since, no matter what, my ultimate destiny is to be property of the state, I will choose the high road. For the low road is full of taxes tolls, confiscation yield signs, regulations hybrid cars, violence flat tires, and bread lines bumper to bumper traffic. The high road of course, is full of spacious mansions scenic views, recreation SUV's pulling water craft, famous peopleHOV lanes, and power no speed limits.

I am afraid both roads lead to the kollective kitchen. But the high road leads to the restaurant out front and the low road leads to the beet line at the backdoor. I have heard of some comrades being run off the high road if they do not drive well, but I am a defensive driver not afraid to turn someone in ...so I'll see you at the restaurant in Austin!

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It's the Driskill Grill, and it's the least progressive restaurant I know. Not only unabashed carnivores, but named after the Driskill family. And Clara Driskill was the major dragon behind saving the Alamo. It's an unabashed celebration of Texas, with cattle, and guns, and the wild west. And lots and lots of beef and easy living.

Because I'm a Made Progressive.

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Hooray! 100%!!!!
Do I get a sticker to take home to mom?

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And the hotel's thermostats are set at 68% in rooms with 12' ceilings. And as a further bastion of privilege, the bellboys are all in livery with white gloves. And they are all too handsome for Hollywood. It's the sort of place where you can get duck breast and foie gras, surrounded by stained glass (not the dish), with paintings of cowboys and cattle roundups on the wall. Or a rib-eye they aged themselves.

And what's doubly damning is it's not expensive either.

It is guaranteed to make a northeastern prog apoplectic.

Hooray for Texas. Hooray for excess. Too much is not enough.

Because I'm a made prog. And I was in The People's Republic of Austin.

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Yeah! The Driskill rocks. Glad they saved it from destruction. It's a great place to cool your heels for awhile after prowling 6th street. And the food is superb. We're blessed to have many great spots like that in progressive Austin-tatious.

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By Pamalinsky
I must confess, and hope I can be forgiven for my obscene and unseemly belly laughter, knowing full well, that a sense of humor is forbidden...sort of like taking "belly breaths" for much needed relief of tension due to my inability to fully accept the party line. I am working on this. Really. I am new here and am not sure I can measure up to the brilliant and hilarious (there I go again) posts. I am considering turning myself in. However, may I say that I think the cheesecake Nanski billboard placed across interstate highways idea is stunningly brilliant and will contribute greatly to the collective well-being. I, so selfishly, wish I had thought of it. Thank you comrades, for contributing to my happiness! I have finally found a home!

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Pamalinsky, welcome to the place where thinking is prohibited, unless it's Groupthink(tm). I personally do not have thoughts. It's prohibited. If you start doing the unmentionable, that is, thinking--and I never recommend that, report to <a href="https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopi ... fy-Lobo</a>. Dr. Mengele, my personal favorite technician, will slip a small knife up through your eyelid into your pre-frontal lobes and make sure that you never think again.

This goes very well with your superheterodyne, phased-antenna-array, Pamela-Anderson clad tin-foil hat, which receives transmissions from Laika, Noble Space Dog. If you use both, then you will never be troubled by original thought and you can be a Made Progressive.

Just like me. I'm a very Made Progressive. I have 40 acres of impaling stakes for suppressing disloyal thought, and anyone who survives the impaling stakes will be treated to a few choruses of "Tico Tico" by Bruno, the homing-queen houseboy who just won't go away.

The most important thing is that no one had an idea before the perfect ideas of today. The Egyptians didn't build their pyramids because they didn't have me, as a Made Progressive, to tell them how to do it. Isaac Newton didn't do that calculus bit--it's nasty and technical--because I wasn't around to tell him how to do it.

In fact there are no great people, just historical movements, and you and I, as Progressives, ride on top of them.

This is why being a Progressive is so much more fun than being a regular person.

Because we don't have to achieve. We just bitch, moan and whine, and throw attitude.

I hope that this is clear.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pamalinsky, welcome to the place where thinking is prohibited, unless it's Groupthink(tm). I personally do not have thoughts. It's prohibited. If you start doing the unmentionable, that is, thinking--and I never recommend that, report to <a href="https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopi ... fy-Lobo</a>. Dr. Mengele, my personal favorite technician, will slip a small knife up through your eyelid into your pre-frontal lobes and make sure that you never think again.

This goes very well with your superheterodyne, phased-antenna-array, Pamela-Anderson clad tin-foil hat, which receives transmissions from Laika, Noble Space Dog. If you use both, then you will never be troubled by original thought and you can be a Made Progressive.

Just like me. I'm a very Made Progressive. I have 40 acres of impaling stakes for suppressing disloyal thought, and anyone who survives the impaling stakes will be treated to a few choruses of "Tico Tico" by Bruno, the homing-queen houseboy who just won't go away.

The most important thing is that no one had an idea before the perfect ideas of today. The Egyptians didn't build their pyramids because they didn't have me, as a Made Progressive, to tell them how to do it. Isaac Newton didn't do that calculus bit--it's nasty and technical--because I wasn't around to tell him how to do it.

In fact there are no great people, just historical movements, and you and I, as Progressives, ride on top of them.

This is why being a Progressive is so much more fun than being a regular person.

Because we don't have to achieve. We just bitch, moan and whine, and throw attitude.

I hope that this is clear.

Commissar Theocritus! Thank you so much for coming to my aid!
Just this morning, I went to my email inbox, eagerly anticipating a month-long-overdue-response-to my-queries-about-my-unemployment-check, (a common thing here in Kalifornia, and you can't call them). THEY weren't there, but, YOU were! This occurrence assures me I'm moving in the proper direction (I wanted to say the "right" direction, but just couldn't. Is this progress?) If not, I'm just hoping that the Jifi-thing works. Does it hurt? Eew! I'll do anything to avoid this. But lately, it sounds like a plan. I know myself well enough to know that I will never go there. Ever. Love your post!

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Thank you, Pamalinsky. Just a bit more thing to help you in your rise to being a Made Progressive.

First, never accept blame or responsibility. Mad Progs are emotionally about four years old and it's tiresome to accept blame. However it's fun to point fingers. Did you know that <i>Newsweek</i>'s movie critic is saying that Hollywood makes boring movies because the writers and directors were traumatized by the Bu$hitler? Are <i>still</i> traumatized by the Bu$hitler? Now that's masterful Mad Prog.

Second, reality is what we say it is. There is alway someone to flog or tax or intimidate, and then blame. See First, above. When the economy of the USSA comes crashing down, laden under insupportable debt, we'll just blame the Tea Baggers. Because they are obviously blameworthy--they clean up after themselves and don't destroy other people's property and have jobs to take off from to demonstrate. What's not to hate?

By then a good deal more than half the populace will be on the tit government justice payments--we'll fix what ails you--and this includes all the bureaucrats which will service them. We'll have justice payments for people who have bad-hair days. People who have a hard time getting up. People who have a hard time not taking one for the road, or two for the road, or four for the road. People who, and this is most important, don't have time for work because they're demonstrating, but only if they are breaking Korean shop owners' windows. For Justice of course.

This will insure a permanent governing majority. And we won't mind that the country will get poorer and poorer and that one's virtue will be determined not by ability but by what victim group one belongs to. Talented and self-sufficient people must be destroyed; identity polities must be encouraged. It's easier to control a group. You can't control a proud, talented human. Destroy him.

But first we have to dumb down education even more. We need voting machines with just two buttons. The one for the Democrat party will be a big, green dollar sign, and the one for the Republican party will be a lynched black man.

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Thank you again, dear Commissar, for responding to my, as yet, unmade posturings. You are so correct on every point. Truth is, I AM a proud, talented human (as, and I'll bet my bottom dollar (I only have 1 left) on this, YOU are as well.) Now, that's sayin' somethin.' Don't worry, I know you are not now. I won't tell. At age 19, I toured with the Metropolitan Opera National Company. Later had my own Graphics business. It was profitable. What am I to do about this? I see Jifi-Lobo as the only solution. Not giving in yet. THIS JUST IN: Heard this morning there is a computer glitch in Kalifornia regarding Unemployment Claims. I still remain loyal and "just know" it will all be resolved. Can you provide me with actual locations for Jifi-Lobo. Just in case.
So truly,
Your Comrade in Arms (I'm thinking of actually buying a gun)
Thanks again for your support!

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Pamalinsky, thank you for your kind words but as a Mad Prog I am talented only in stealing from other people seeking the People's Justice.

I am setting up franchises for Jiffi-Lobo all over the USSA. You should never have far to go when you have a disloyal thought; after all, what if you started <i>thinking</i>? Then you couldn't be a proud Democrat. Or in, a lot of cases, a proud Republican either.

If you are thinking of buying a gun, I suggest that you move to Washington, where 7.62 can instruct you, or to Texas, where in Houston a man shot a burglar stealing his neighbor's property. He shot him in broad daylight, in the back, and the grand jury no-billed him.

He should have been shot. He was a free-lance socialist. We Mad Progs prefer our socialists institutionalized, like Nanski Peloski.

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Pamalinsky, thank you for your kind words but as a Mad Prog I am talented only in stealing from other people seeking the People's Justice.

I am setting up franchises for Jiffi-Lobo all over the USSA. You should never have far to go when you have a disloyal thought; after all, what if you started <i>thinking</i>? Then you couldn't be a proud Democrat. Or in, a lot of cases, a proud Republican either.

If you are thinking of buying a gun, I suggest that you move to Washington, where 7.62 can instruct you, or to Texas, where in Houston a man shot a burglar stealing his neighbor's property. He shot him in broad daylight, in the back, and the grand jury no-billed him.

He should have been shot. He was a free-lance socialist. We Mad Progs prefer our socialists institutionalized, like Nanski Peloski.


 
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