| It has come to the Party's attention that that some of us still use F-words on the People's Cube forums and in private lives - including even high-ranking Party members, as our surveillance tapes indicate. This calls for an emergency intervention. Sensitivity Training #1: PeopleSpeak™ vs F-Words PROBLEM: |
SOLUTION:
PeopleSpeak™ is a new culture-altering tool developed at Karl Marx Treatment Center. It capitalizes on the success story of The People's Cube puzzle, in which not only the color red adequately replaces all other colors, but the P-word in its name also adequately replaces the old F-word, an epithet used by victims of the less progressive and unsolvable cube models.
Kommissar Vodkov
Comrade Navigator. Are you fucking insane!Red Square
If the progressives continue to modify people's patterns of thought and behavior to foster America's defeat in the war on terrorism, they better have a double-crossing and cleanup plan in the works for later, when the victorious Islamist allies start modifying progressive patterns of thought and behavior by cutting our f#@%^ heads off! Below is a sample of an enlightened family conversation appropriate for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™, in which all the F-words have been replaced by P-words:
People's Engineer of Human Souls at Karl Marx Treatment Center
Parental unit #1: Why don't you get your people's ass off the couch and go to the people's welfare office to get some people's foodstamps so that when our people's children return from the people's school they can eat some people's food!Parental unit #2: Why don't you shut your people's mouth, you people's bastard!
Children: Hi Parental unit #1, hi Parental unit #2! Is there any people's food in this people's house?
Parental unit #1: You people's kids give me a people's headache! Get out and play in the people's traffic!
Parental unit #2: There ain't no people's food because your people's Parental unit #1 used all the money on people's drugs, and since he's been supporting our people's family by liberating and selling people's cars, he is now going to the people's jail and from now on we're going to live in the people's street!
Parental unit #1: You are out of your people's mind if you think I'll have a people's job at a people's Wal-Mart and pay people's taxes!
Children: Our people's Parental units are pleasuring us again. Let's go out and steal some people's food like we always do.
Parental units #1 & #2 together: We are the People! We do it for the Children! It's all for the People's Children!
A little injection of PeopleSpeak™ can turn any ordinary people's conversation into a civil, politically correct exchange of equally valid ideas.
RECOMMENDATION:
Introduce a mandatory gradual transition to PeopleSpeak™ through public awareness campaigns combined with strict revolutionary enforcement.
Quote:
What the people?!? Are you people kidding me? People.Red Square
Pupovich - I suggest we adjust the name of your invention to PeopleMath™Quote:
However, I notice some of you People using the word "holy" which offends me. I propose something along the lines of "green, Earth-friendly, eco-conscious and environmentally correct." (Or at least one of those--how 'bout "green"?)Comrad Bubalasky
Commissarka Pinkie wroteQuote:
However, I notice some of you People using the word "holy" which offends me. I propose something along the lines of "green, Earth-friendly, eco-conscious and environmentally correct." (Or at least one of those--how 'bout "green"?)
Red Square
New euphemisms develop every time the People get used to the old euphemisms that become low-class words. E.g., shithouse > toilet > water closet > bathroom > restroom. Will the next step be the return to the original adjusted for PeopleSpeak - capitalhouse?
Kommissar Vodkov
What is the party approved word for a noose? I think we need a new one for that since the old one has been purged from the obsolate, politically incorrect gibberish we call "English."Chairman M. S. Punchenko
Ex: Let the word shit be replaced by the PeopleSpeak™ word Capitalism and the word Hell be replaced with the PeopleSpeak word wealth...Ivan Betinov
Vodkov, you igonorant [thumbs furiously through pages] capital...wealth...people's...people! We already got one!Comrad Bubalasky
Komrades, since the Green Algore capitalist, with his Nobel Peace Prize, keeps coming up, I must let you capitalist people's in on a great opportunity too capture part of the Carbon Footprint Market™ for the market capital people! I am selling, for a mere $15.00 a month, your future! Since you are all markets, I thought, I should include you on this capitalistic idea!Quote:
One question I have but don't see in their FAQ: Are there really enough stars in the firmament for all the suckers born every minute?Commissarka Pinkie
PupsPassGas! ... blast from the not-so-distant past...Commissar Pupovich
Comrad Bubalasky
Komrades, since the Green Algore capitalist, with his Nobel Peace Prize, keeps coming up, I must let you capitalist people's in on a great opportunity too capture part of the Carbon Footprint Market™ for the market capital people! I am selling, for a mere $15.00 a month, your future! Since you are all markets, I thought, I should include you on this capitalistic idea!Quote:
So, Pup, I think I'd like to buy one of those bottles of bean gas you've got in your trenchcoat, so I can feel good about myself too!Kommissar Pupovich
But, what would this do to the meaning of "The People's Cube"Red Square
I think we just found out that Pupovich has a dark sekret alter ego - the canine version, Jackal and Hide, so to speak - who appears usually when the Pupovich we know is passed out after consuming more than his allotted ration of vodka.Premier Betty
*gasp!*

Red Square
So your alter ego is a right wing scoundrel, hm? I'm afraid that your brighter personality of Commissar Pupovich will have to become collateral damage in our next Party purge. Don't worry, your comrades will rip you apart with special kindness reserved for privileged Party members.Quote:
What sort of peopling witchcraft is this??? This is an OUTRAGE! I smell a Criminally Insane Kommissar behind this! I have investigated and found no such "Kommissar Pupovich" registered here.Ivan Betinov
Quote:
What sort of peopling witchcraft is this??? This is an OUTRAGE! I smell a Criminally Insane Kommissar behind this! I have investigated and found no such "Kommissar Pupovich" registered here.Ivan Betinov
Quote:
Ah, but note that there is no avatar associated with the "Kommissar Pup" post. There is a clue to the reality of the situation. I am willing to bet this month's beet ration that the Kommissar who is troubling the Commissar is in fact an evil twin from a parallel universe. He did not post an avatar because the goatee would give him away, just like Spock's beard did on Star Trek.Commissarka Pinkie
[
Navigator
Navigator humbly requests a suitable nic to promote The PeopleSpeak and an avatar to match like a tie and cummerbund for the working class.Red Bubba
Only 13 months until I can turn my head and cough for Hillarycare.Commissar Pupovich
Red Bubba
Only 13 months until I can turn my head and cough for Hillarycare.Commissar Theocritus
Red,

Red Square
Here's something of a sequel... I'm now working on a story to come with it. Stay tuned for the Current Truth!
Quote:
In the middle of the night there is a product for a Double Action Deep Colonic Cleaning, or something like that.Users browsing this forum: Exabot [Bot] and 24 guests
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