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Petition to Obama: Make insurance cover my hockey fees!

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Law student Sandra Fluke has recently issued our demands to the Bureau of Central Planning (also known as the US Department of Health and Human Services) that all health insurance companies must provide birth control so that all may engage in sexual intercourse without the overwhelming, unreasonable burden of purchasing contraception. We must embrace this selfless act as a call to demand that evil profiteering insurance companies support ALL health care rights.

The next step in this noble cause shall be to demand a mandate to insurers for full coverage of all costs associated with hockey!

On all of our behalfs, I have filed a petition at WhiteHouse.gov that articulates our demands as follows:

WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:

Make all insurance companies cover hockey league fees and equipment costs to enable healthy exercise of all Americans!

Hockey is a healthy form of exercise that can combat obesity and heart disease as well as contribute to development of key arm and leg muscles, agility in hands and feet, boosting mental strength and focus, flexibility, and reflexes. All Americans of both sexes and all races reserve the right to play hockey to better their health.

Hockey league fees can run as high as $1000.00 per year for a single team. Between skates, pads, helmets, sticks, and accessories, hockey equipment can run as high as $4000.00 year. This is simply beyond the financial reach of many, especially students enrolled in universities.

Health insurance companies should cover costs related to hockey without co-pays.
Comrades, do your duty to The Party. Click on this link and sign the petition!

All those who do will receive an executive ration of bedtime lube personally autographed for you by Sandra Fluke!



-Red Square's Secretary General of the Ministry of Cold Weather Athletics

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Here are some thoughts from Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Obama_Trade_Anything_For_Vo.jpg

UPDATE:

Comrade Films! I have resized your humongous image (3264 pixels wide) and uploaded it to the Cube using our convenient Editor for the Rich.

The next time you post a gigantic image like that, you shall answer to Comissarka Pinkie's Shovel of Reproductive Justice!

--Red Square
People's Director

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I just went to the White House website and here's the screenshot of what I saw:

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I'm sure a few Canadians would like to petition the US President as well.

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Obama had better accept or hockey petition, or we will sell to Fox News pictures of him that even Breitbart couldn't dream about:

1. Obama playing for the Soviet team as a student of Patrice Lumumba University of People's Friendship in Moscow, 1978.

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2. Obama celebrates victory of the Soviet hockey team (South Side Chicago, 1998).

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Welcome, DCBrian,


Let's hope the Reich-Wing haters of Sandra Fluke don't try to infringe upon the Peoples Hockey Players' trademark slogan, "Get the puck out of here!" by adopting "Get the Fluke out of here!" as their anti-entitlement slogan in their misguided efforts to protect the limitless pot of gold controlled by the Funding Fathers.

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--KOOK

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Here, Sandra Fluke was preparing to testify not before a faux committe (as she initially did) but instead before a real committe -- i.e., the House Committee considering the Petition for Hockey-League Membership being mandated as a part of ObamaCare. She was planning to testify in opposition because she had been "reliably informed" that such leagues bar membership for women in such a testosterone-dominated sport.

To me, the petition seems suitably progressive, but what about street hockey?

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--KOOK

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Sorry for the big pic. Please... no gulag.. please.
DaveFilms wrote:Here are some thoughts from Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

Obama_Trade_Anything_For_Vo.jpg

UPDATE:

Comrade Films! I have resized your humongous image (3264 pixels wide) and uploaded it to the Cube using our convenient Editor for the Rich.

The next time you post a gigantic image like that, you shall answer to Comissarka Pinkie's Shovel of Reproductive Justice!

--Red Square
People's Director


 
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