Interesting Facts about the 111th Congress

• As many Congressfolk have read the Swahili translation of "War and Peace" as have read any of the 2009 Healthcare Reform Bills
  
• Congress can waste more money in a few minutes than AIG can in a year but nobody is picketing their homes
  
• If another country tried to do to America what the current Congress is doing, we would declare war on them
  
• The 111th Congress' public approval ratings hover just above graverobbers and child molesters, much to the chagrin of the latter
  
• Many Congressfolk should be in jail but aren't
  
• A lot of Congressfolk have poor vocabulary skills, judging by their inability to comprehend simple words like "ethics" and "honesty"
  
• If you added up all the IQs of the members of Congress, you would still need a federal bailout to boil water
  
• Congressfolk actually get paid for the stupid crap they do!
  
• Congressional "fact finding" trips to foreign capitals could serve a useful purpose but unfortunately, the participants find their way back
  
• As a rule, Congress has no shame
  
• Congress attempting to run the nation's health-care system is analagous to a bunch of drunks attempting to run the Star Ship Enterprise
  
• Congress's motto should be "America is the log, We Be the Termites"
  
• Letting Congress control the nation's finances is like letting a pack of weasels guard the hen house
  
• The word "Congress" derives from a Latin word which means "the drain that the nation is circling"
  
• In the Eighteenth Century, Congressmen were so naive and stupid, they actually listened to the people they represented instead of the other way around
  
• Most Congressfolk will take money when offered.... or even when not.
  
• If your physician cared for your welfare the way your Congressperson does, you would have been dead long before Obamacare could come up for a vote
  
• A Congressman once wrote a book entitled "To Serve The People".... it's a cookbook!
  
• Congressfolk started holding town hall meetings so they could find out what their constituents think but discontinued the practice when the constituents actually started showing up and telling them
  
• Speaker Nanski Peloski is America's rock... i.e. a huge dead weight that is nearly impossible to get rid of and is causing the leaky boat to founder and sink
  
• The level of talent amongst the current members of Congress is astounding; most would have no trouble getting work as paperweights or speedbumps
  
• Contrary to popular belief, the 111th Congress is deeply concerned about the national debt in the same way as a meth addict is concerned about his meth stash
  
• The 111th Congress is a perfect illustration of how much damage a bunch of self-interested fatuous frauds with power can do

Stop trying to confuse us with facts. We have the current truth and that's good enough for us.

(Facts give me a headache)

Opiate of the People wrote:If your physician cared for your welfare the way your Congressperson does, you would have been dead long before Obamacare could come up for a vote

This one is more equal than others. It should be expunged from the list.

Haha, excellent!

Is all reaktionary LIES!!
Those bourgeois conservatives will never stop smearing our People's Congressmen and women!! Thank you for bringing this vile propaganda to our attention, Comrade Opiate!

Agreed, this is vile propaganda no doubt spread by enemies of the Revolution. The fine upstanding progressive who represents me in the Politburo faithfully votes as his union bosses unicorns advise him to and cares only nothing for personal gain. He once said to me, "Opiate, if I have ever once did anything except in the best interest of my constituents, may a lightning bolt strike me dead." Then he quickly changed places with me.