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The Possibly True Story of Comrade Whiskers

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Comrades, I wish to rehabilitate a Hero of the Revolution. I present to you the possibly true story of Comrade Whiskers.

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I didn't want to be the one to tell you this.......but Comrade Wisker's attitude was noticed by the State Political Directorate. Image

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Comrades, I have no doubt whatsoever that we may rest assured that Comrade Whiskers, much like our dear comrade Laika the Space Dog, has been toiling and subterfuging behind the scenes for the various glorious revolutions of the 20th century and - of late - for the Glorious World of NextTuesday™!

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Oh, the what ifs of history. If only Comrade Whiskers had lived history would be completely different and the communist international wouldn't have been betrayed by Stalin.

Too bad, commies.

Perhaps Hollywood should produce a movie wherein Comrade Whiskers survives being gunned down in the basement he was enticed to with kitty treats and escaped to some European country where he tries to prove he's really THE Comrade Whiskers. Sort of like that movie about Anastasia.

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I think Newt Gingrich wrote that one right after having the South win Gettysburg. How does writing a book with someone else work? You take the first half and I'll take the second? Let's do every other sentence? Or I'll just stop in now and then to see how it's going, just send me half the money?

Anyway, I thought "A Novel of the Civil War" was good except there was no mention of workers rights (if you don't count slavery) and beet vodka was in short supply.

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This narrative, if true, lowers my opinion of Comrade Lenin. I always thought the only proper companion animal for a Hero of the Revolution was a rat - having a companion animal like a cat, one who is NOT useless, self-centered, spreads disease and epitomizes underhanded manipulative ruthlessness is somehow just so bourgeois, don't you think?

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Comrades, the glorious work of our brother cats for the revolution is well documented and celebrated.

I have become convinced of late that the white washing of Comrade Whiskers and other note worthy felines from history was done by subversive bourgeois dogs and counter revolution lolcat propagandists.

These evil Meme-thusiasts with their "light hearted" cheeseburger-can-hazing humor have been subverting our youth and weakening the resolve of our allies for years.

Something must be done!

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The Whiskers legends are legion. I vaguely recall a tale told by a wise old man whilst in my youth weeding beets. According to him, Whiskers found himself a cat safe-house. Or was it a safe cathouse .... It was many years and beet vodkas ago ....

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Anyer Marx wrote:The Whiskers legends are legion. I vaguely recall a tale told by a wise old man whilst in my youth weeding beets. According to him, Whiskers found himself a cat safe-house. Or was it a safe cathouse .... It was many years and beet vodkas ago ....
It was both. In fact, it was mine and continues to be run by the Ministry of Love (and Hot Monkey Free Love)

"much like our dear comrade Laika the Space Dog, has been toiling and subterfuging behind the scenes for the various glorious revolutions of the 20th century" maybe ROCK is right?

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That is Comrade Furry Gagarin, a brave Ailuronaut whose natural curiosity about those bright shiny objects in the night sky lead him to go where no cat had gone before.

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