The recent debate in Washington D.C. about an ‘attack' last April on a California power substation has finally shown a much needed spotlight on a very insignificant issue: the security of America's power grid.

According to sources that although the 52 minute, 100 bullet ‘attack' did not cause a blackout, the overtime costs to pay the ‘attackers' repair the damage constituted a national security risk.

A spokesman for a utility company, who asked to remain anonymous because he/she/it was not authorized to talk to anyone about the incident, did praise California's gun laws for helping to minimize the damage by saying “It is obvious that anything newer than a musket would not have taken 52 minutes to shoot 100 bullets”. When pressed about how the utility knew the ‘attack' lasted exactly 52 minutes, the spokesman declined comment mumbling something about employee/employer privacy laws.

The FBI did not classify the incident as a terror attack, a decision the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission vehemently opposes:

“How can we expect to get Congress to give us more money and distract attention from that lame State Of The Union address if the FBI keeps pointing out we set the whole thing up ourselves? Um, er, that is, doesn't corroborate our story, er, doesn't classify it as a legitimate terror attack? You are going to clean up that quote before publication, right?”

When asked about the time between the ‘attack' and report, the FERC source said “Hey, if it can take 52 minutes of uninterrupted time to fire a little over 100 shots, it can take almost a year for the report to finally become useful…er, published”.

Off:

1) I can't really be the only one out here who thinks PG&E did this themselves to get more federal money, force smart meters on everyone, or have a distraction/crisis waiting in the pocket to be pulled out when the White House occupier needed it.

2) This is my first attempt…please be gentle

On:

I will now crawl back into my snow covered hovel and await the inevitable invite to ‘summer camp'

My guess is an employee was hitting golf balls off his balcony.

Comrade Peas,

Your vain attempt to conceal a mental aberration - commonly known as paranoia - from which you obviously suffer, is quite commendable. However, here at The People's Cube we tend to elevate members so afflicted. Be proud of your illness. Take ownership of your malady, comrade. Claim your victim-hood and join us in the march for emotional equality.

To your original point: Of course the PG&E concocted this event. How else could a company headquartered in San Francisco survive in California? And remember, this story comes in the wake of an equally fabricated report involving a massive credit card security breach at Target. And how did Target discover the invasion of their processing system? Why, The Secret Service told them. I wonder how they knew...

So, as you can plainly see, we are awash in scandal and paranoia here at TPC. In fact, there is a seemingly endless supply of same to be mined. Get digging! But keep one thing in mind always: No thinking without a permit!

Comrade Peas,

Welcome, you are not a frequent visitor, but you make a good point when you do.

After the tools are cleaned and put away, feel free to join us behind tractor barn #2 this evening for political discourse, singing of marching songs, and redistribution of distilled beets and beet by-products (that are suprisingly not on the books for accountability toward quota...). Bring your ration card, and food if you can scavenge any.

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrade Peas,

Your vain attempt to conceal a mental aberration - commonly known as paranoia - from which you obviously suffer, is quite commendable. However, here at The People's Cube we tend to elevate members so afflicted. Be proud of your illness. Take ownership of your malady, comrade. Claim your victim-hood and join us in the march for emotional equality.

.......[redaction]........

So, as you can plainly see, we are awash in scandal and paranoia here at TPC. In fact, there is a seemingly endless supply of same to be mined. Get digging! But keep one thing in mind always: No thinking without a permit!

And also remember, Comrade Peas, as one of the pigs told me, "all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others." Oh, and remember also, this is a working animal farm - so make sure you have your shovel ready at all times... sometimes it gets deep here...