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President Reopens Washington Monuments with Free Guided Tour

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Comrades,


Dear Leader has seen the people suffer enough at the hands of the corporate boot-licking rethuglicans and through executive order aims to reopen all Washington DC People's Monuments for FREE™ tours! Blessed be His Name!

However, leading scientits have advised the administration that mere observation of these landmarks with human eyeballs will drain taxpayer funds. This is a luxury the Bush shutdown does not allow.

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Senior Science Advisor Nigel Tufnel explains the phenomenon in a lecture given in the basement of a Philadelphia music hall some thirty years ago;


Shutdown Tour Protocol

To lessen monument damage and reduce taxpayer expense in this time of unjust austerity the Park Service will require that certain new rules be followed on the tours.

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AP 2013 - Touring citizens marvel at hearing the history of the People's Court of Social Justice.

Any prole participating in an Obama Tour will be required to adorn a Party issued hood and wear an orange jumpsuit so that the guards don't lose track of you or allow you to walk headfirst into a slab of granite or marble- Ouch!!

Each Party sanctioned party will be led by a platoon of paramilitary peace officers and a historical reeducator well versed in the history of slavery and oppression that lies at the foundation of our worthless nation!

Apply for your place in an escorted tour today by visiting HealthCare.gov and entering the Obama Tour People's Lottery! *73-Digit Individual Obamacare Identification Number Required for Eligibility

Have an outstanding day!

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The 'guide' looks like an old Proctologist dear late ex- husbandry once knew... he told me he was always poking around where he didn't belong. I am hoping new Guides will keep fingers and joints to themselves. (proles should be banned!!)


 
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