When – October 29th

Where – Outside the White House, the California Governor's Mansion, Nancy Pelosi's palatial San Francisco town house and the Starbucks on the corner of Rodeo Drive.

Why – To petition the Governor of California (who at the moment is losing some serious progress points with us right now), the Bush Administration and Congress to cut the water and bring the firemen/womyn/appliances home NOW! Oh, and to help Mother Nature™ reclaim the territory that rightfully belongs to her from the greedy capitalist developers and those humyns who insist on living in “homes” (just don't tell anyone that's the real reason behind the protest).

We are also going to burn Smokey Bear in effigy since he is recruiting the next generation of nature-haters who want to put out fires and build “homes” on Mother Nature's™ territory. So be sure to bring kerosene, lighters, matches and whatever American flags you have to get a good fire going.


Let us march and denounce Bush and Schwarzenegger's war on fire! It's just a bumper-sticker anyways! FIRE TRUTH OUT NOW! FIRE TRUTH OUT NOW! THE WORLD CAN'T WAIT! DRIVE OUT THE BUSH REGIME BY LIGHTING SMOKEY THE NATURE-HATER ON FIRE!

This seems to happen every year. Forest fires in So Cal start up, people complain about it, then the fires go out, and everything returns to normal... until the next summer.

There are reports that a white man with graying brownish hair was spotted trying to start a fire at the scene of one of the San Diego County fires.

Kid Rock stated at a press conference today that Bush hates Californians.


( When I was at Camp Pendleton in the 80's there were always grass fires, the place is just one big tinderbox waiting for a spark. )

Comrade Red Jim -

Do you mean to tell me that you saw Vice-President Cheney - along with Karl Rove, Don Rumsfeld, Condi Rice, Rush Limbaugh, George Bush, all Congressional Republicans, Chief Justice Roberts, Justices Alito, Scalia and Thomas and every one from Blackwater, oh, and of course some U.S soldiers - trying to set fires!? Is that what you're trying to tell me, Comrade Red Jim!? I mean, if so - and I think you are - I will call Rep. Henry Waxman right now and ask for some show trials...errr... oversight. I have the phone in my hand and am waiting for you to say yes... or just nod your head... better yet, just sit there and do nothing and that will be the sign I'm looking for... OK, that's good enough for me <dials the number of the brothel Waxman is currently at>

Yes, Comrade Waxman needs to set up that People's Tribunal NOW! We must act before the fire goes out and The Peoples' righteous anger subsides. We must:

Drive the fascist Bush and Schwarzenegger regimes from office in a peaceful People's revolt. Sit-ins and drum circles near the Governor's mansion and the White House should easily accomplish this. They will be replaced with collective leadership representitives selected by us from leading non-partisan, non-profit advocacy groups such as World Can't Wait, MoveOn, Amnesty Intl., Open Society, and PETA. Oh, and the Democrat Party, which is where Beloved Empress HRC comes in.

Establish a new constitution. There will be no time or need for the usual ratification process, so we'll just declare this new document in effect and be done with it. The debate will be declared over and it will be considered settled law.

Reduce the country's emissions of greenhouse gasses by turning off all power stations; ending fuel sales, making private operation of any motor vehicles, including farm and construction equipment and powered boat and ships, illegal; ending all commercial and private aviation and and eliminating livestock farming. Exceptions will be made based on need for these items and services by certain selected officials.

Eliminate the death penalty but perform humane euthanasia in cases such as people who don't immediately renounce membership in the Republican party and various right-wing groups, people who don't renounce conservative, libertarian or other contrarian, hateful belief systems, and those who don't renounce Christian and Jewish beliefs, except for those who have worked within those faiths to move them away from their core beliefs and towards a new, Party-approved understanding (i.e. the senior leadership of the Episcopal church).

Eliminate all hate-filled, right wing "news" and propaganda and subject its purveyors to asset forfeitures and reeducation (or humane euthanasia).

Following these (and other) simple guidelines, you can be assured of never having to worry about wild fires in California again!

List of Party approved slogans:
EQUAL RIGHTS FOR FIRES!
Down with the spark killers!
Hey hey LBJ how many fires did you put out today!?
Support our fire fighters by burning their officers.
Down with smoky, only you can prevent common sense!

One a serious note, I live in California, and I know how we can prevent a fire like this. California isn't big on small controlled fires, so we never get rid of the dry, highly flamable under brush. The enviromentalist don't like small controlled fires to get rid of the dead vegitation. Some people complain about the ash in thier yards and pools. I guess they'd rather have their house burn down than put up with raking that ash once and a while.

Hmmmm, Trees, dry climate, it burns yearly, and people still want to build there.....Hard to get so worked up when millionaires lose their houses..... Unless of course they are Party Members. After all, isn't mother earth trying to purge the heathen spawn from her breast to make more room for our utopian society

Yes, sadly I sparked a fire there with a flashbang but Cheney made me do it! I was distracted by Condi's demur smile.

We have lost the war against this fire! Our very presence in the formerly pristine wilderness of California is only encouraging more fires to rise up and try and kill Americans! Fires all over the earth hate Americans, and who can blame them? We have been exploiting the fire's fuel sources for centuries for profit! It is past time that we bring our brave firefighters home! Why should they risk their lives to fight a fire war that was started by Bush and his lies, and we can't win?

Get Out of the Fire NOW!
NO MORE WATER FOR FIRE!
FREE FIRE!

I am simply outraged about this fire Comrades! Are you aware the Bush neo-cons have even been using this fire to ferret out "document impoverished" future voters? Yes! Arresting them! No doubt torturing them to try and cast blame on them for the very fire Bush started! It is shameful! And those poor people forced to endure what they have at Qualcom stadium or what ever the name. Did you know they do not even have HBO or MTV available to them on the big screens? Even there the Bush neo-cons were reported to have "renditioned" 6 citizenship disabled patriots that crossed the border to try and bring some water and food to the needy?

US OUT OF FIRE NOW!

I'm still not entirely clear on why Bush and his cronies started these fires. Was it to steal California's gold? Was it to avenge the fact that his daddy didn't carry California in the elections? Or is it the crazy notion that there are WMDs buried somewhere in the California desert?

<Pinkie off>

I agree about this being an annual California ritual. Just like the annual pile-up of cars in thick fog on Interstate 5. 'Tis the season!

Comrade Pinkie, the reasons for Bush to start that fire are so numerous I hardly know where to begin. Does the name Haliburton ring a bell? What other company has the resources to bring the area back to "normal" whatever that means in Califoolya. Could it be to uncover many of our future "undocumented democrats" as has already been done? Or to get a little revenge on our useful idiots in Califoolya? Perhaps to clear out a lot of dead wood so they can replant for their Big Lumber cronies? Dear Lenin, I will stop for now, for I am sure you and other comrades can continue the long list of reasons.

We can only hope now that Benevolent El Presidente Hugo Chavez sends us food, water and CITGO gasoline (non-polluting renewable gasoline, that is) to the trillions of marginalized Kaaleehfournians who are suffering from gross economic disparity, injustice and ass warts... yes, ass warts... which is the direct result of building "homes" in Mother Nature's sovereign territory (which is everywhere, mind you... except for Israel... because we all know that rightfully belongs to the Palestinians).

If only Kaaleehfournians were to embrace the fire and see it's point of view... then maybe, just maybe, we could all just get along <heavy sigh>.

comrade hasan wrote

List of Party approved slogans

can I try?

NO FIRE FOR OIL!
BUSH LIED, SO CAL FRIED!
STOP THE OCCUPATION OF CALIFORNIA

And another thing. If Bush really supports the firefighting in California, then why doesn't he send his own daughters in there to wield some hoses and haul some buckets?

Oh, and by the way . . . I do support the firefighters. I just don't support what they're doing in California. They have no business being there.

THEY ARE FIGHTING AN ILLEGAL FIRE THAT THE U.N. NEVER APPROVED!

STOP THE MURDER AND RAPE OF INNOCENT FIRE, PULL OUT OF CALIFORNIA NOW!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Oh, and by the way . . . I do support the firefighters. I just don't support what they're doing in California. They have no business being there.

THEY ARE FIGHTING AN ILLEGAL FIRE THAT THE U.N. NEVER APPROVED!

Absolutely Pinkie! The brave Firefighters deserve our support even if they are tools of the Bush and his BIG FIRE lobbyists. Bring our firefighters home! Is it any wonder why fires all over the world do not respect us anymore?

Comrades, I am sure you have heard some of the horror stories about how some of our stressed out firefighters have tortured, abused, and even killed some innocent fires!

Let me ask you a bunch of questions we already know the answers to, Comrades:

Who is making the fire trucks - HALLIBURTON!

Who is making the water to put out the fires - HALLIBURTON! (We have known for years that Halliburton stole water making technology away from the Soviets)

Who is supplying these fire fighters in the first place - BLACKWATER!

Who is making huge amounts of money off of "emergency provisions" like flash lights, ice, batteries and other things used in a Bush Induced Natural Disaster - WAL-MART!

Who is feeding the fire fighters - MCDONALDS!

Comrades, it is clear that moneyed interest are behind all of this - as always - and we must take the steps needed to make large sums of money off this *shocking* revelation

We need...

- T-Shirts

- Documentaries

- Big Hollywood movies (with the usual cast consisting of Meryl Streep, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Susan and, of course, Arec Barwin)

- Websites with catchy names

- Pamphlets

- Spike Lee

- Plenty of hot Starbucks coffee (which we will say that a dime of it will go to “relief” efforts or whatever)

And, of course... everyone from The View (except for Hasslewhore who is a member of the VRWC)

Chairman Meow, don't forget "Simplistic Party truths our followers can chant as rhyming slogans".

It is obviously time for True Americans, Liberals and hate-filled kkkonservatives alike, to settle our differences and come together as one collective under the leadership of the One True Party. Then we will be able to negotiate a <s>surrender</s> settlement with this fire and all future fires from a position of Unity and Enlightenment. We can come to an understanding of the fire's needs and grievances and recognize how our own past misdeeds have caused the fire to lash out against us. We will then be able to live as one with the fire and celebrate our diversity as humans and super-heated plasma join together.

Commissar M wrote:...We will then be able to live as one with the fire and celebrate our diversity as humans and super-heated plasma join together.

Like in the ovens at Auschwitz and Birkenau, you mean?

-Mikhal

Sadly, Lenin help me, I just considered something. For thousands of years, fire and man have coexisted nicely. Man honored fire by building temples to fire, placing fire in the places of honor in our homes. In return, fire has heated our homes, kept man/woman/it warm, cooked our food. But with this modern technology, we have gradually shed our co-dependence on fire. We cook our meals with dangerous microwaves, or electricity produced in ways causing global warming. Is it any wonder that finally, fire has struck back out of frustration? A call for help if you will? Clearly this is an opportunity for the Party to embrace fire, to work to protect fire. It is just so sad comrades. I have little doubt that fire will reward us with their votes as well!

As usual Commissar Pupovich you are right on the money. It must be our dependence on electricity (i.e. foriegn Oil), and other such time-saving appliances that has cause fire to hate us. After all, other countries in the world allow fire to peacably co-exist. Many other societies recognize fire's unique multi-elemental contribution to their culture.

Pyrophobic Christofacists like Smokey just want to commit genocide against peacful Fire. We must demand solidarity with fire. Who will be first to light themselves ablaze to show our support for fire?

RIK

I think we can all agree now that fire needs reparations and that the FEMA money for the Kulaks who lost theirs homes and their decadent trinkets should be given to the fire instead. Subsidizing victims has always – and I mean always – favored the Party and our goals in more ways than one could ever imagine. And no one is a greater victim right now than fire who is getting a lot of unfair negative press for no good Goddess damn reason! It is just totally unfair and I for one am going to write angry letters to all the networks for reporting hateful things about fire – either that or I will DEMAND that they be boycotted for various fabricated reasons… possibly for uttering “Don Imus” or something of that nature.

Comrade RIK - I think our Gaia worshipping environmental-idiot lobby should bite the bullet and set themselves ablaze for the Common Good™. They do deserve it and nothing would please the Earth Mother more than much needed sacrifices. Maybe we could throw in a few spotted owls too for some much needed dramatic effect during these ritual “sacrifices” to the Earth Mother. It's for the Children™ and their Children™… we have to think about them. I hope the environmental-idiot lobby can understand that.

We all remember the days before Bush came to office... the glorious 1990s, when there were no poor, no hurricanes, tornadoes, global warming or wars. Now there's one more thing to miss about that carefree decade... there were no wildfires. But that most horrific of all of Bush's crimes- the invention of global warming- has wreaked havoc on the people of California. No doubt because Bushitler is angry that he lost that state in 2000 and 2004. I take that back... he is angry because he was unable to STEAL the elections in California.

Chairman Punchenko wrote

I think our Gaia worshipping environmental-idiot lobby should bite the bullet and set themselves ablaze for the Common Good™.

As you wish Chairman sir. (lights self on fire)

Mikhail T. Kalashnikov wrote:

Commissar M wrote:...We will then be able to live as one with the fire and celebrate our diversity as humans and super-heated plasma join together.

Like in the ovens at Auschwitz and Birkenau, you mean?

-Mikhal

Yes, or Winnie Mandela's "necklace parties".

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Let me ask you a bunch of questions we already know the answers to, Comrades:

Who is making the fire trucks - HALLIBURTON!

Who is making the water to put out the fires - HALLIBURTON! (We have known for years that Halliburton stole water making technology away from the Soviets)

Who is supplying these fire fighters in the first place - BLACKWATER!

Who is making huge amounts of money off of "emergency provisions" like flash lights, ice, batteries and other things used in a Bush Induced Natural Disaster - WAL-MART!

Who is feeding the fire fighters - MCDONALDS!

Comrades, it is clear that moneyed interest are behind all of this - as always - and we must take the steps needed to make large sums of money off this *shocking* revelation

We need...

- T-Shirts

- Documentaries

- Big Hollywood movies (with the usual cast consisting of Meryl Streep, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Susan and, of course, Arec Barwin)

- Websites with catchy names

- Pamphlets

- Spike Lee

- Plenty of hot Starbucks coffee (which we will say that a dime of it will go to “relief” efforts or whatever)

And, of course... everyone from The View (except for Hasslewhore who is a member of the VRWC)

Not to worry Comrade!
<a href="https://latimesblogs.latimes.com/breaki ... mente.html"> Undocumented migrants are already redistributing the "emergency provisions" among the poor.</a> Namely themselves. Power to the people. What would we ever do with out our undocumented migrants? We'd have to kill, rape and rob our selves of the supplies and that would be going against the point, wouldn't it.

The bad news is they started the fire. I wanted to blame Bush. But when has that ever stopped me before? Truth will only get in the way of our glorious revolution.

We can thank Harry Reid for coining Undocumented Americans*, Comrade Hasan. It is important we call them Undocumented Americans because to call them "illegal" or "migrants" would... well... hurt their self-esteem.

You see, they're already *legal* citizens of this hateful and intolerant country but happen to be "missing" the required documentation to prove their citizenship... legal citizenship, mind you.

It is very important to throw in *legal* when speaking of the Undocumented Americans. To consider it "illegal" would hamper the Party's plans to divide and eventually Balkanize this unholy union we are forced to call the U.S.A.

Ugh... the things we go through, Comrades... the things we go through.

What would we do with out our undocumented Americans? I suppose we'd have to kill, robe, and rape ourselves. I'd have to rob my own convenient store. Do you have any idea how hard it is to hold the gun to your own head while lotting your own cash register, so you can launder the money to HAMAS? The Jews aren't going to kill themselves ya' know. Oh Allah! Then you have find time to pray.

Comrade Hasan wrote: I suppose we'd have to kill, rob, and rape ourselves

I don't think I'd be able to do that first one without my daily 500 mg dose of Ritalin. I can rob anyone of anything, so that isn't a problem. He, he... I'll never know what hit me.... And I'm not even go into the questions I have for that last one.

Premier Betty wrote:I can rob anyone of anything, so that isn't a problem. He, he...I

I can certainly vouch for that.... I am still trying to find a way to pass on those counterfeit carbon credits you sent.

<evil voice on>

MUUUUAAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!

</evil voice on>

So sorry about that....