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Psychics to Help Find Real Obamacare Participation Numbers

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Dear Comrades,

The Department of Mandatory Health and Compulsory Human Services has announced that it is revising its statistical evaluation of Obamacare to more accurately measure the success of this stage of the Party's Five-Year Healthcare Plan. Recent changes include adding citizens who have completed the documentation process and voluntarily selected their compulsory healthcare program.

However, the White Fortress has reportedly begun seeking the assistance of clairvoyant Socialists who can help the Party find other Obamacare participants who may be thinking strongly about participating but been unable, for whatever reason, to complete the process. Because of the counter-revolutionary activities of Gremlins and Republicans, State-run servers have been unable to track each individual login and thus cannot provide realistic numbers.

However, Party-approved psychics are not bound by the limitations of computer data-collection systems, and can transcend the limits of State reporting mechanisms to gather more realistic numbers for the State to use to measure the ever-increasing success of Obamacare. It is expected that in coming months, millions of new beneficiaries of the State's Redistribution of Health through Obamacare will be added to official statistics

To further assist in this process, loyal citizens of the USSA, who truly care for the millions of uninsured workers and peasants of the USSA, are asked to continue assisting Comrade Shirley MacLaine in group meditation as she attempts to attain technological assistance for the Obamacare web site from the Zarphastrian mothership she routinely contacts from her compound in Santa Fe, NM.

Psychics will help us better measure the success of Obamacare! Millions of loyal citizens are thinking about enrolling right now!


Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator


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"[T]he Obama administration ... will count people who have purchased a plan as well as those who have a plan sitting in their online shopping cart but have not yet paid."

Yes, they should be counted. I am confident that those people with plans sitting in shopping carts will return once they retrieve their forgotten wallets, just like those nice folks did at Wal-Mart ....


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The numbers are mind boggling Comrades if we take also into consideration that About 4.4 billion planets are similar to Earth in size and temperature, suggesting they may be able to
host life, according to a survey of the galaxy using telescopes operating in space and on the ground. Communications from inhabitants of these worlds who want affordable healthcare could take years to reach us.

https://bloom.bg/1iI1h5h

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I'm growing dizzy contemplating the vast universe & the lack of good affordable healthcare for the interspace masses! Think of the enormous revenues resources we could plunder,line our pockets use for the good of the intergalactic!

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Q: Online psychic readers seemed to have sprung up overnight and their growing number makes it difficult to determine which of those websites are legitimate or fraudulent. Which ones should loyal workers and peasants use?

A: Only the ones that are marked with the Obama logo.

[img]/images/Psychic_Obama_Sign_Up_ad.jpg[/img]

Do You Need Love & Relationship Regulation?
Do You Need Career Or Money Supervision?
Do You Need Destiny & Spiritual Management?

Your answer is ObamaCare!

Hand Over Your Lives To The Government & Never Worry Again!

Get The Answers To Your Most Pressing Questions In The Complete Privacy & Comfort Of Our Government Offices.

Psychics? Bah, what is needed is not psychics but psychotics! Send in people with axes and chain saws, you'll get answers.

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And after that these psychics will slack off with something easier, like finding virgins working in a house of prostitution (Justin Bieber doesn't count).

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Red Square wrote:Your answer is ObamaCare!

If ObamaCare is the answer how stupid was the question?

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$.$. Halliburton wrote:
Red Square wrote:Your answer is ObamaCare!

If ObamaCare is the answer how stupid was the question?
"What could possibly be any worse?"


 
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