Comrades, I am confused yet again. Recently, I watched a late 1990s/early 2000s series about the planets (future collectives, colonies, or even gulags). This was done by People's Propaganda Unit #330 otherwise known as BBC. The final episode talked about how Gaia/Mother Earth will end.

Comrades, I was shocked! I realize this was before the great Goracle reinvented himself in the wake of evil George Bush stealing the presidential election from him, but they actually said that in a billion years, plants and animals would suffer due to "falling levels of carbon dioxide". That's not a bad thing, Comrades. Why, carbon dioxide is responsible for everything bad that happens here. If you slip on a banana peel, it's because of too much carbon dioxide. But worse yet, the rude person who left that banana peel for you to slip on did so because he was influenced by too much carbon in the environment due to man-made technologies. Did you have a bad day today? Well, that's because of too much carbon. Nothing good to watch on TV? Too much carbon. Get the point, Comrades? So why complain about lack of carbon? We're trying to reduce carbon. Al Gore sells carbon offsets, you know.

They then said the earth will still be the "planet of choice" in a billion years, but not so much in 2 or 3 billion years. Comrades, what is this? The great Goracle and all his parrots who want to keep their jobsscientists have said carbon dioxide is rising by the minute due to use of cars but not due to Obama's frequent vacations in his private jet, and that the earth will become a barren wasteland everywhere by 2050 if we don't submit to lots of new taxes! BBC should have redone this show to include the Current Truth™! Worse yet, they blamed the problems to be experienced in a billion years on the swelling of the sun! What???!?!? EVERYONE knows it's all due to man-made global warming and racist bitter clinger hillbillies from red states driving big trucks! They even said the sun is getting hotter! Blasphemy! This is not science! What is this tripe? The sun is not responsible for any of this! It is only the little people's lifestyle and not the important people's use of private jets that is at fault for the future when the oceans evaporate! And it will be in just under 40 years, not 2 billion years! Gore and Dear Leader have said so!

The great and powerful Goracle has spoken! Yes, a Photoshopped image of Gore as the Wizard of Oz would be wonderful, thank you to any Comrade who might like to make one! Pay no attention to those scientists who go off script!
~~~~

But on another note, they suggested Mars might be an acceptable spot in a few billion years. As the sun gets hotter and larger and melts the polar ice caps (I thought that was a no no....tax the sun and restrict its right to grow, perhaps??), Mars could have water again and be hospitable to life for half a billion years. I do like this idea, Comrades. The glorious world of next Tuesday could easily come on the RED PLANET.

And even better when the sun becomes a RED GIANT. Perhaps there might be sun spots on the red giant in the form of a hammer and sickle?

My 6 year old niece Billy Bob (he "identifies" as a girl), noticing that temperatures drop at night, asked me if that was because carbon dioxide goes to sleep when it gets dark here in the trailer park. What should I tell her?

Dedhedvedev wrote:My 6 year old niece Billy Bob (he "identifies" as a girl), noticing that temperatures drop at night, asked me if that was because carbon dioxide goes to sleep when it gets dark here in the trailer park. What should I tell her?

"Shut up," he explained.

Dedhedvedev wrote:My 6 year old niece Billy Bob (he "identifies" as a girl), noticing that temperatures drop at night, asked me if that was because carbon dioxide goes to sleep when it gets dark here in the trailer park. What should I tell her?

First, comrade, change "its" name to Billy Bobette. Next, explain to "it" that breathing slows during sleep, thus lowering CO2 emissions and reducing the temperature. Finally, mention that this effect could be greatly enhanced by reducing "its" respiration rate to 0.

Aaah yes, retroactive Planned Parenthood! Now covered by Obamacare...

Who could ignore a request from the most gracious [color=#C0392B]Comrade Vlad Linen[/color] who wrote:Yes, a Photoshopped image of Gore as the Wizard of Oz would be wonderful, thank you to any Comrade who might like to make one!

.
Sir, there is only The Gore of Oz... I'm sorry to say!
.
.

.
.

"There is only one Algore, and Barry is his messenger..."

Comrade Putout, LOL! That was even funnier than I imagined with Gore as the Wizard himself! Thank you!

Comrade Tovarichi, that was hilarious too!

Comrade Dedhedvedev, I think you've received some excellent suggestions on how to deal with this almost climate change denier. Other possibilities are to provide a one-way ticket to a gulag in Siberia where "it" can learn about man-made global-warming-induced gobal-cooling. Or, perhaps even invite Comrade Putin to do one last Venera lander to Venus, with your "neice" being the first human to see it firsthand. Then "it" can see real global warming at work and will never grow up to be a dangerous denier.

This, comrades, Is why we had the Colonel pass common sense Regulations on our trans Dimensional on-goings.
Remember, spacefaring Comrades, No one needs a Tardis.

Comrade Linen,

I fear you may be getting a visit from Commissarka Pinkie and her famous shovel. You are guilty of the Crime of Thinking. Also known as thoughtcrime.

We deal ONLY with The Current Truth ™ here, as you should know. You need not trouble yourself with ancient broadcasts that our busy revisionists editors haven't yet had time to alter make Korrekt.

Now cleanse your mind of this Kapitalist hate or you will be taking a long, cold trip, Comrade.

S.M.A.R.T.A.R.D.I.S. Causes less Trans Dimensional Warp field pollution.
Its much, much Smaller on the outside.

Barack Obama to the BBC:
If you like your Doctor, you can keep your doctor.