Action movies have always been loved by the masses. They used to adore heroes like John Matrix (Commando), Punisher (The Punisher), Ah Jong (John Woo's The Killer) and Rambo (Rambo films). So, in the wake of the Progressive Era, I have finally figured out the formula for a modern action movie that will entertain the masses and install Progressive Ideas. Hollywood has been looking for this formula, and attempted to practice it but it is only now I have found all of the necessary ingridients. I will post them now here, in honor of the new Propaganda film by Robert Rodriguez, Machete.
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THE CAST:1. Non-White/Jew Antihero - Remember, we're not primitive. We think only acknowledge non-whites can be heroes. Therefore, our hero will never be white. He must not be Jewish either, because God is evil (As long as we're talking about the Judeo-Christian God). Our hero will never fight for America, as in primitive movies like Rambo nor will he fight for something that's being taken fromh him by The People (Falling Down, antisocial propaganda starring Michael Douglas). Instead, America/CIA will wrong him and he will fight them in the name of Progressive Justice.Oh, he must also be young. He must never be played by actors like Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundergurn or whatever his name is. It would be better if he is not Chinese, since Chinese action films, such as Woo's, seem to praise tradional heroism and intimate relationships. We don't want that.

2. WHORE # 1, 2, 3, 4 AND IT GOES ON: Our Progressive Feminism Ideas must also be displayed. We will have women in pointless important roles only because they're women. However, we will not bow down to the tradional, conservative and fascist idea that women do not like sex or skimpy clothing (Aliens, directed by James Cameron). Instead, our women will act like prostitutes, which is progressive and tolerant. Their role will also to show off skin, show us their titties and make 16-year-old males fap to her. Prostitution is liberation! Motherhood is prison! Remembah dat. Examples of Progressive women in action films: Jessica Biel in The A-Team, Zoe Saldana in The Losers, all the bitches in Tarantino's Death Proof. The whore is the one who kill the bad guy, and she will do it while barely wearing anything.

3. EVIL RICH OLD WHITE MALE: He is evil, he wants money, he is evil and he must never, ever be young. He who owns the youth owns the future, so we want to appeal to young people by showing them those ol' people are assholes.

THE PLOT:The plot needs to follow this structure: Non-White gets wronged, non-whites shoots some people, pointless twist, pointless twist, Whore comes in and shows off skin, Whore shoots people, Whore shoots people, pointless twist, pointless twist, a statement against Capitalism, Whore and Non-White shoot people but Whore gets most of the screen time (Remember, the youth!), a puncline against Capitalism, Whore kills Evil Rich Old White Male.

WHY WHORE GETS SCREEN TIME:Violence is tied to competition, which is evil. Whore will make people think of sex instead of violence. Sex is progressive because it's natural, and because Christians hate it. Therefore, the more sexual

THE CRITIC CONSENSUS:"Smart, clever and funny! Very energetic, Whore was very hot, I fapped while watching it, violence is primitive, but Whore had awesome tits!"

God, I can't tell you guys how sick I am of modern actioners. Can I watch an action movie WITHOUT some women showing off her tits? Call me a prude but I go to action films to watch violence, not naked women.
Ugh ugh ugh.

I see that The Party ™ has done away with those silly paragraph thingys. Most equal idea and it is not as if we have to actually try to read anything written here. if it is important it will be spoken over the loudspeakers during our sleep periods.

Comrade Jay is indeed very progressive. Obfuscation is the surest form of indoctrination as no one can disagree with whatever was written.

OOPS... now the paragraphs are showing up. sorry 'bout that chief.

Jay, you are on thin ice. It is inappropriate to reveal the Party Approved Movie Formula to the public. Consider this a warning.

I thought The People's Blog is protected from the The People, and a safe place to share secrets.

I'll go without paragraphs next time. We still have lines though.

The Skinnee Jay wrote:I thought The People's Blog is protected from the The People, and a safe place to share secrets.

I'll go without paragraphs next time. We still have lines though.

The previous paragraph comment was cryptic but currently some Trotskyite infiltrator has been sabotaging the People's paragraphs in the "rich text" editor. Poor text still works and is that not meaningful.

Perhaps paragraphs increase our carbon footprints and this no paragraph movement is progress toward Greenishness. I'm all for it.

The Skinnee Jay wrote: God, I can't tell you guys how sick I am of modern actioners. Can I watch an action movie WITHOUT some women showing off her tits? Call me a prude but I go to action films to watch violence, not naked women.
Ugh ugh ugh.

Well said Skinnee Gay Jay. I know that Bruno shares your concerns.

However the Party has it's reasons for making such movies. Most, if not all the men who watch these movies still have silly patriotic feelings toward America. There is no better way to keep these "real" men in their seats (so they get their Party approved dose of anti-Americanism) than the chance that they may get a glimpse of boobie.

Don't forget that the plot of most of these movies is that some crooked Republican CEO with ties to Bush is in league with the CIA to blow up American cities with dirty bombs so they can blame it on the innocent mooslims and start a war which they will profit from by selling weapons to both sides.

Now I ask you, who in their right mind would watch tripe like that unless some bimbo flashes her boobs 3/4 of the way through the movie?

These comrades still watch movies? Good... good... it is good for Party for the proles to keep watching.

[PROG OFF]

Machete currently has 71% positive reviews, in contrast to Expendables' 39%.

Machete has higher than the Crank films too. Could it be the pro-illegal immigrants politics are makin' it more popular?

Who, in his right mind, would make an "exploitation" film that ponders to minorities?

As I ponder pandering to minorities, I surmise minorities are the stuff of election victories. Our Collective is the salvation of minorities. We promise them equality, power, sustenance, wealth and now health. We speak to the pain of the minority (if they have no pain we contrive pain) and they follow without question. And all the while we inflict guilt on the majority, thereby seducing many of the majority into our Collective thinking. Oh, the wondrous gloriousness of it all.

"Shut it down."

"But we can't just leave them out there!"

"Shut it down. And remember, none of this ever happened."

Best buddy of good guy gets killed.

Good guy is bewildered and severely wounded.

Attractive young woman helps good guy.

Good guy realizes he's been betrayed.

Good guy threatens bad guy.

Car chase/pyrotechnics.

Bad guy gets killed.

Sequel.

Sequel includes:

New Bad Guy threatens a different minority.

Quick action sequence.

Sex scene

Action sequences with ShakyCam where the Attractive Lady always gets the best moves

Attractive Lady kills the bad guy

Minority celebrates.

Same formula for the 3rd part.

@PeoplesComrade: I think if you group all minorities together, they might be larger than white people. That means a bigger box office hit, and more money for the Party.

[OFF]
Darin Miller has a good 5 part essay at Breitbard's Big Hollywood site on how Hollywood really makes it's money on movies. In short, if you think you can punish Hollywood for making trash movies by refusing to see it at the theater you're kidding yourself. This tactic will not change the culture of the big studios.

He cites Tomb Raider as an example. The film supposedly cost $94 million, it actually cost the studio only $8.7 million out of pocket. The rest resulted from various schemes like filming in countries that offer tax breaks or subsidies. Shuffling paper around also accounted for a big profit, for example, selling distribution rights then buying back limited rights. Product placement deals, video games, DVD sales, rentals and toy spin-offs.

As it stands now "Machete" appears to be a bust with only $12.4 million in ticket sales at the box office on it's opening weekend. But trust me, the studio made a fortune on it even before the curtain went up.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:[OFF]
Darin Miller has a good 5 part essay at Breitbard's Big Hollywood site on how Hollywood really makes it's money on movies. In short, if you think you can punish Hollywood for making trash movies by refusing to see it at the theater you're kidding yourself. This tactic will not change the culture of the big studios.

He cites Tomb Raider as an example. The film supposedly cost $94 million, it actually cost the studio only $8.7 million out of pocket. The rest resulted from various schemes like filming in countries that offer tax breaks or subsidies. Shuffling paper around also accounted for a big profit, for example, selling distribution rights then buying back limited rights. Product placement deals, video games, DVD sales, rentals and toy spin-offs.

As it stands now "Machete" appears to be a bust with only $12.4 million in ticket sales at the box office on it's opening weekend. But trust me, the studio made a fortune on it even before the curtain went up.

[OFF]I heard he plans a sequel, and a spin-off for Lindsy's character. What's next? Lindsy saves poor Palestinains?I can't believe it's the same guy who made Planet Terror

(off)
Hey Skinnee Jay,
If you are looking for a good action movie without all the sex and pointlessness, check out "Taken" with Liam Nieson (hope that's spelled right). The plot is him rescuing his daughter after she goes to Europe with a friend and they are kidnapped. I'm trying not to ruin anything here, but for what it's worth, check it out. There are no sex scenes, or at least, he isn't having sex with anyone. The only thing we get is, a father rescuing his kidnapped daughter, and everytime I watch it, I'm always left nearly breathless at the end.

Another worthy film is Law Abiding Citizen. No real discernable sex scenes but man does that movie pack a punch!

[PROG-OFF]I actually watched Law Abiding Citizen and it was pretty good. I want to watch Taken. It was directed by the same guy who made From Paris With Love - a true politically incorrect film.