Comrades! Cheer up and smile, for today we have achieved a most wonderful deed. We have shown the world that we can look over our differences with the imperialist war lords in charity For the Children™.

This is breaking news, and of course I welcome any additions and comments. But we have turned back the evil attack of the Tush Limbaugh, lap dog of the Bushitler, and taken back the initiative! For WE helped to raise this money because WE CARE™ more than they. Had that Bushitler toady Tush Limbaugh only given us more time, we could have had more of our useful idiots sign that document and raised even more money!

Harry "Useful Idiot" Reid:

"Madam President, earlier this month I came to the floor to discuss some comments made by Rush Limbaugh. Following my remarks, more than 40 of my Senate colleagues and I cosigned a letter to the chairman of Clear Channel, Mark May, telling him we wanted him to confer with Limbaugh regarding the statements he made. I've since spoken to Mark May about this. Mark May in fact called me regarding this letter.

This week, Rush Limbaugh put the original copy of that letter up for auction on eBay. Mr. President, we didn't have time, or we could have gotten every Senator to sign that letter. He put the letter up for auction on eBay, and I think very, very constructively, let the proceeds of that to go to the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation. That provides scholarship assistance to Marines and federal law enforcement personnel whose parents fall in the line of duty. What could be a more worthwhile cause? I think it's really good that this money on eBay is going to be raised for this purpose. When I spoke to Mark May, he and I thought this probably wouldn't make much much money, a letter, written by Democrat Senators, complaining about something. This morning, the bid is more than two million for this. We've watched it during the week. It keeps going up and up and up.

There's only a little bit of time left on it, but it certainly is going to be more than two million.

Never did we think that this letter would bring money of this nature, and for the cause, Madam President, it's extremely good. Now everybody knows that Rush Limbaugh and I don't agree on everything in life. Maybe that's kind of an understatement. But without qualification, Mark May, the owner of the network that has Rush Limbaugh, their auction is going to be something that raises money for a worthwhile cause. I don't know what we could do more important than helping to ensure that children of our fallen soldiers and police officers who have fallen in the line of duty have the opportunity for their children to have a good education."

Our brilliant plans have worked once again! These neo-con-artists are so gullible that they believed this ruse to help The Children™ who've been victimized by Bushilter's evil immoral war that we never voted for. Now, Limbonehead and one of his primary wealthy elite supporters are each over $2 million poorer. This money will be used to send The Children™ of slain Marines and Federal law enforcement officers (whom we in The Party love and support) to their glorious "indoctrocation" at Progressive Universities all across the land.

We win and win big!

Can I claim to be the son of a killed soldier? I want money!!!

Why not Betty? After all, do not you feel the pain of all those soilders (just thousands after thousands of them) dying? I know that in your non-heart, it bleeds as if your own father had indeed gone over there and died.

I do feel the pain of them. It's as if my father did die in the war (despite the fact I sent him to the gulag several years ago for a few extra bucks in my wallet). I wonder if I can keep sending him back there. And maybe a few other family members. Remember, the gulag pays extra for multiple thought criminals you turn in.

To purge or not to purge? That is the question, comrades.

After viewing this (transcript provided by the enlightened commissar above) I have mixed feelings. Should we...

...keep him for the funniest monologue since, "Communists disdain to conceal their views and aims!"...

or

...purge him for appearing like a whipped dog bested by the capitalist criminal who runs America and Rio Linda?

I would call a meeting of my staff, but most of them just went out the window in the most recent voluntary purge, and the ones I liked are already on the train.

Can we purge him? Please,please,please,please!

Komissar Blogunov wrote:To purge or not to purge? That is the question, comrades.

I'm leaning towards "purge". Ol' Chimpy might be prone to frequent, hilarious verbal gaffs but Reid's speeches and over-all demenor are down-right flaccid. If you're going to have to go out and admit that People's Enemy #1 just rubbed your face in it, at least don't look and sound like a whipped dog while doing it.

Now I must say, I was very much on the purge wagon for Reid, but after his masterful snatching of victory from the jaws of defeat at the lips of the spokesman of the VRWC, I feel the prudent thing would be to keep him on probation for the time being. He may yet still prove of more use. But we can keep him on a short chain so to speak, and one more screw up, to the wall Harry! But I will of course depend on the sense of the party elders for guidance on this.

Gentlemen, I have already voted on another page to purge him. But then I had second thoughts. If we purge all useful idiots, who would be left? Only Teddy Kennedy, who is much too much of an icon to be purged, and much too useful. We might need some young woman to be made to vanish after all.

Do you realize how much trouble could have been saved had Teddy been given a free hand with Monica?

Now you know I was right there with you on Reid, but I do think we can give him just one more chance to prove his worth after this amazing save. But if he doesn't keep it up, I say we yank him fast. It's up to him. As for Kennedy, I don't buy this icon thing... sure he is an icon... but an icon of useful idiots, and so still subject to be purged. Of course he rarely lets us down though.

How many idiots have you all rounded up for my Purge-A-Thon to Victory™? Come on, let me see them damn pledge sheets!? How many!? You got 2,100,100 idiots to round up… no, wait… scratch that! Instead you have 4,200,200 idiots to round up! First one to sign on 4,200,200 pledges to be purged gets to live! That's right, you'll have immunity that next time Hillary wants to see some heads roll.

I went into great detail about the Purge-A-Thon ON MY *OFFICIAL* LETTER THREAD! LOOK FOR IT!

Let's hear it for Nancy's Purge™! Hosted by Jerry Lewinski.

How can you purge H.R. Puffenstuff when he's not really here? I live in the soon to be socialist state of Nevada, and nobody will admit that they voted for Herr Reed. Did the Californicators who keep flocking over the hill vote for him while they were still in ArnoldLand? It is a mystery!

I commit whitemaleheteropiog to be purged (sorry man, better you than me)

Premier Betty wrote:Can I claim to be the son of a killed soldier? I want money!!!

Why im a slave of a slave soldier Double Points.....

I applaud your attitude Comrade Dirk! (Commissar scratches Comrade Dirk off his purgea-athon pledge sheet, picks 10 other names at random.)

The beauty of a good purge is that it's so random. Well, not quite. You find someone who sticks his head up just a little tiny bit and then you cut it off. <i>Pour encourager les autres.</i> If people aren't shitting themselves in fear, you're not working hard enough.

Ah Commissar Theocritus, it is always educational when you post. I have learned, sort of, a new expression...Pour encourager les autres. Of course, that sort of exposes you a bit above the crowd....

(adds theocritus's name to purge-a-thon pledge sheet)

Commissar Pupovich, I give my all to the Progressive cause. And I was forced to learn a little froggie--after all, if we are need to learn about stabbing in the back, whining and dropping rifles, why not learn from the best?

Comrade Dirk, I am honored to be on the purge-a-thon pledge sheet for it will be like a bachelor auction and I shall bring a very high price. Which I shall, in true Progressive spirit, keep all for myself.

Of course you will Comissar Theocritus (until I unleash the Pelosipires I borrowed from nancy, bwahahaha)

As someone who has basked in the bright lights of denunciation, I can well understand what it feels like to be on a purgeathon pledge sheet, and no doubt am on several of my comrade's lists as well. Of course, the way I see Commissar Theocritus, only one like we, who have done so much to promote the goals of the Party, would ever cross the minds of others to wish to purge. So in that sense, it is indeed a badge of honor. In fact, it is those who have done little or nothing to advance the cause that are liable to truly discover themselves on a Iosef's Dance Card.

Oh crap! the pelosipires got out. CALL ANIMAL CONTROL

Call Animal Control comrade? Animal control? What do you have against one of the Party's most loyal voting groups comrade? Are you trying to imply that somehow you are better than these voters? Oh verily, I am wishing to hear your answer. Perhaps you would like to show you are better than these loyal voters in other areas as well, such as digging holes?

Oh crap! the pelosipires got out. CALL ANIMAL CONTROL

obviously there has been an unfortunate misunderstanding you see (door crashes open) Theocritus! what are you doing (thud)

+50 points to Comrade Dirk for using Pelosipires in his last post. Citing Cube Lore always earns you points, Comrades... ALWAYS!

enough points to make it throught the purge-a-thon?

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:+50 points to Comrade Dirk for using Pelosipires in his last post. Citing Cube Lore always earns you points, Comrades... ALWAYS!

It is hard for me to see the connection between these dubious creatures and the purge....Besides, why worry about such? I use Hillary Express, don't leave home without it.

+50 points to Comrade Dirk for using Pelosipires in his last post. Citing Cube Lore always earns you points, Comrades... ALWAYS!

If thats the case: The mime, casual crunch, nixon clones, hummels, tin foil hats,canadian dolphins,and premier betty. Did I miss anything?

The one which amuses me most is the Hildo Hydra 7.9. It is a contraction of Hillary and Dildo and is brought to you by Our Dear Sister Massively Opiated, the Cetacean from Kanadistan. There was a flurry of speculation about the Hildo about eight months ago in which we engineered it, ringing the changes on its power, solar, green, and I plumped for three-phrase driven by the generator trucks from a Stones concert.

And the Hydra is of course for when Our Many Titted Empress (there's another one) has a party, usually with Mr. Reno, who has two hooves, by the way; Nansky; sometimes Maureen Dowd; Barbara Mikulski and of course Dear Rosie, the butt--and butt--and BUTT--of The Donald's jokes.

And what an achiever The Donald is. Trump Tower I snap my fingers at; his new Chicago palace also--after all, a building with his name on it is a building with his name on it. But he did build a building which was taller than the UN and which caused a grandee from the UN to sniff that it oughtn't look down on the UN, causing me severe stomach pains leading almost to projectile vomit from laughing, and also he has said very discreditable things about Our Rosie the Diesel Dyke, and all of them fell on welcoming ears. Mine.

comrade dirk wrote: If thats the case: The mime, casual crunch, nixon clones, hummels, tin foil hats,canadian dolphins,and premier betty. Did I miss anything?

Yes. You missed a space before the comma after "and", and premier. Also, you missed capitalizing names. But fortunately, none of that maters because you definitely have gotten enough rewards of +50 Commmie Armor to protect you from a Level 90 kkkapitalist.

Premier Betty wrote:...you definitely have gotten enough rewards of +50 Commmie Armor to protect you from a Level 90 kkkapitalist.

Ooooohh, AD&D references now, Premier. You really are showing you geekness now. (And no snide remarks on my referral to Dungeons & Dragons as "AD&D", either. Yes, I too used to be a RPG nerd.)

Hey, I just got an idea - maybe we could set up a MMORPG clan as Cubists and take over whatever realm we are in for the Glorious People's Sake™.

You like Video Games, Da? I too have been known to string a bow and let fly an arrow or ten against the mighty cyber-hoard. I've never done any of the really big ones, like Evercrack, or WoW, but I have over-indulged in Dungeon Siege, so I am familiar with the scene.

I don't know, just an idea. I'm not even sure I'd be able to devote myself to it like I used to. No more chemicals to ease the strain, you know. But I would give my all for the Greater Good™, of course.

Your Saving Throw against Marxism has failed...
-Mikhail

I, Myself wrote:Hey, I just got an idea - maybe we could set up a MMORPG clan as Cubists and take over whatever realm we are in for the Glorious People's Sake™.

Then again, we'd probably get there to find the Ron Paul groupies have beaten us to it...

Yes. You missed a space before the comma after "and", and premier. Also, you missed capitalizing names

watAre yu tawking abowt?

All this name dropping disturbs me... if we are going to drop names, don't you think they should be names for the Purge-a-thon rather than suspiciously competitive efforts to outdo others?

Premier Betty wrote

you definitely have gotten enough rewards of +50 Commmie Armor to protect you from a Level 90 kkkapitalist.

Soon I'll have enough commie armor to upgrade to a level 70 propaganda wizard, complete with level 9 tax hike spell

comrade dirk wrote:Soon I'll have enough commie armor to upgrade to a level 70 propaganda wizard, complete with level 9 tax hike spell

What have you started Chairman? This looks suspiciously like competition! Ok, calm down Commissar, take some deep breaths, sniff some tails, the Chairman obviously has a reason for this... it's not for you to question Commissar... Hmmm, lets just denounce a few proles, relax, listen to some confessions.... Yes, that is much more relaxing. Now where were we Comrade Dirk? You say you have more what than others?

Now where were we Comrade Dirk? You say you have more what than others?

I'm not sure what you mean Commisar (slips Pupovich some $oft ca$h)

AK wrote: Ooooohh, AD&D references now, Premier. You really are showing you geekness now. (And no snide remarks on my referral to Dungeons & Dragons as "AD&D", either. Yes, I too used to be a RPG nerd.)

Hey, I just got an idea - maybe we could set up a MMORPG clan as Cubists and take over whatever realm we are in for the Glorious People's Sake™.

You like Video Games, Da? I too have been known to string a bow and let fly an arrow or ten against the mighty cyber-hoard. I've never done any of the really big ones, like Evercrack, or WoW, but I have over-indulged in Dungeon Siege, so I am familiar with the scene.

Sorry, I try to stay away from RPG's at all costs (both kinds, unless I'm pulling the trigger). I did always like the free roaming style, and the large places to explore and the variety of characters and missions, but I hated that they all seem to take place in an era where guns are still unknown of, yet there are a strange abundance of freakin' magicians who can shoot fire out of their asses and such. That's why the Grand Theft Auto series is so awesome. All the best RPG qualities mixed with a cool third person shooter.

And I have friends who LARP. Weirdo's.

comrade dirk wrote: watAre yu tawking abowt?

Never mind....

<img src="/images/Header_OutOfCharacter.gif" width="500" height="121"><br>

Premier Betty wrote:Sorry, I try to stay away from RPG's at all costs....I did always like the free roaming style, and the large places to explore and the variety of characters and missions, but I hated that they all seem to take place in an era where guns are still unknown of, yet there are a strange abundance of freakin' magicians who can shoot fire out of their asses and such...

Quite true, Premier. That's pretty much why I stopped playing them, also. I soon thereafter picked up Half-Life 2 and never looked back. I was ruined for other games when I played that. Now my expectations are so high, nothing impresses me. Maybe I need to check out the Halo series, you play that, yes?. Does it live up to the hype?

Premier Betty wrote:And I have friends who LARP. Weirdo's.

Oooff - never got into it that badly. Those guys scare me.

<img src="https://www.ifgs.org/gallery/gallery3/ifgs056.jpg" width="500"><br>

*Shudder*
-Mikhail (A.K.A.: AK)

Hmmmm Comrade Kalishakof... this is the description I found of the game you relish...

The player again picks up the crowbar of research scientist Gordon Freeman, who finds himself on an alien-infested Earth being picked to the bone, its resources depleted, its populace dwindling. Freeman is thrust into the unenviable role of rescuing the world from the wrong he unleashed back at Black Mesa. And a lot of people he cares about are counting on him.

Sounds suspiciously as if you enjoy playing some super conservative "Freeman" coming to save the world post Hillary?

comrade dirk wrote:I'm not sure what you mean Commisar (slips Pupovich some $oft ca$h)

*Commissar nervously looks around as he pockets envelope*

Things are looking fine here Comrade Dirk, keep up the fine work and I am sure your future will be bright.

AK wrote: I soon thereafter picked up Half-Life 2 and never looked back.

Oh, yeah. I bought a copy of HL2 a while back (After it came down in price) and played it. I never did like Ravenholm, but my favorite had to be Highway 17. I got the Orange Box shortly after that, and so far I have beaten Portal, Lost Coast (downloaded), Episode 1, and I'm still working on Episode 2 (It's proving difficult since I got the new Ratchet and Clank game). And then there's Team Fortress 2 which is one of the best multiplayer games ever.

I do suggest playing the Halo games. The first one might be kinda outdated graphics wise, but it's still really good. The second game is better, and the third is probably the best. (Although the Flood suck. AKA they're a bitch to fight)

<Out of Karakter>

Premier Betty wrote:...I never did like Ravenholm, but my favorite had to be Highway 17...

Yeah, that dune buggy thing is the balls. I can't stand the part right after that, though, where you have to jump over all the open sand parts. I always slip and then get swarmed by all those mutant cockroaches... *curses* stupid bugs...*curses* And I loved Ravenholm - the best is shootin' the zombies with sawblades from the gravity gun (you can call it the Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator, if you really want to). Two from one!

Premier Betty wrote:I do suggest playing the Halo games. The first one might be kinda outdated graphics wise, but it's still really good. The second game is better, and the third is probably the best. (Although the Flood suck. AKA they're a bitch to fight)

I was just about to pick up a copy of Halo 2 for Vista, though I only have Vista on my laptop, and I think it'll get shredded - but I'm willing to try. Do you think I should start with the first one, or can I get away with jumping into #2 right away? I'd grab Halo 3, but I don't have a console, so I'm relegated to PC versions.

Thanks for the info!
-Mikhail

*Commissar nervously looks around as he pockets envelope*

Things are looking fine here Comrade Dirk, keep up the fine work and I am sure your future will be bright

Why thank you Commissar. Just be sure to put the envelope REALLY close to your face when you open it (gets ready to press the button)

comrade dirk wrote:Why thank you Commissar. Just be sure to put the envelope REALLY close to your face when you open it (gets ready to press the button)

Hmmm? Oh, thanks for the concern... but I have a trusted assistant prole who values his family for some reason, that opens all of my mail ever since that unfortunate incident that occurred when I opened a memo from the Chairman that was addressed to Premier Betty and some fine white powder spilt.

SON OF A... I mean oh good, I was worried (presses button anyway)

You are just bound and determined to try out that new, heavy duty, teflon dulled shovel aren't you?

It appears i'll need to usurp my power from someone else..... did I just say that out loud?

Methinks you are going about this all wrong. You really do not seem to be in a position to usurp power from anyone. Perhaps you should go the route that this humble Commissar took. You know vodka and some good old fashioned kissing up will catch some eyes? Not that you would be kissing up of course, merely showing your dedication to the cause.

AK wrote: I was just about to pick up a copy of Halo 2 for Vista, though I only have Vista on my laptop, and I think it'll get shredded - but I'm willing to try. Do you think I should start with the first one, or can I get away with jumping into #2 right away? I'd grab Halo 3, but I don't have a console, so I'm relegated to PC versions.

Definitely start with the first Halo. The story makes more sense that way, and don't worry about Halo 2 not working for your Laptop. My friend got one a while ago, and all the laptops that run Vista can run Half Life 2 with the graphics all the way up, so it should run Halo 2 no problem.

AK wrote: Yeah, that dune buggy thing is the balls. I can't stand the part right after that, though, where you have to jump over all the open sand parts. I always slip and then get swarmed by all those mutant cockroaches... *curses* stupid bugs...*curses* And I loved Ravenholm - the best is shootin' the zombies with sawblades from the gravity gun (you can call it the Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator, if you really want to). Two from one!

In Episode 2 you get to drive a dune buggy/Dodge Charger hybrid and you get to race DOG in it (after he single-handedly rips the brain out of a Strider). And you have to face more Antlions in both Episode 1 and 2. Although in episode 2 you have to fight 2 Antlion Guards at once after traveling through their tunnels and fighting Acidlions (Antlions that spit acid).

And if you liked Ravenholm, then you might like the Zombie Apocalypse (self named) in Episode 1. You have to activate an elevator in a parking garage swarming with zombies. Once you activate it, all the lights go out and everything's pitch black. Then you have to fight off every kind of zombie (Including the new Zombines, named by Alyx, who pull out grenades and go all suicide bomber like on you. They also run faster than the regular zombies, but not as fast as the Fast Zombies.) with only your flashlight and some flares for light.

Premier Betty wrote:...A whole bunch of great information.

Wow, thanks. Tons of great stuff!

-Mikhail

You're welcome.