After many observations in the local schools, the State of Many Sodas discovered that students suffer from intolerable anxiety before tests, and from overbearing depression afterwards.

This shocking find made the government quiver and wonder how to fix such problems. One teacher suggested to change the names from tests and exams into quests and adventures, but was struck down by state, as "quest" implies competition and "adventure" may discrimination against the less adventurous students.

The solution was obvious: if a problem makes people sad, get rid of it. It reminds me of the nonfiction autobiography, Fahrenheit 451, where they get rid of books that make people sad. This is good news since that will be next on the agenda.

Forward!

"Dr. Nita Kumar, a mental health consultant for the district, said Friday that the idea is to get students to talk about something they may hide from their parents or not even understand what is happening."

"Mental health impacts overall health and school performance,” Kumar said.

"The school district is considering spending a [highlight=#ffff00]$370,000 state grant[/highlight] on testing for depression in the classroom."

What are the chances that the $370,000 state grant on testing for depression in the classroom will result in another $370,000 state grant to subsidize medical marijuana among the sufferers?

Red Square wrote:What are the chances that the $370,000 state grant on testing for depression in the classroom will result in another $370,000 state grant to subsidize medical marijuana among the sufferers?

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Slim to Fat! (Infinity)

Red Square wrote:What are the chances that the $370,000 state grant on testing for depression in the classroom will result in another $370,000 state grant to subsidize medical marijuana among the sufferers?

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Glorious Leader,

Followup grants to insure proper treatment of The Children™ will be mandatory. Once a child's degree of disability is established by an in-depth psychiatric evaluation, additional studies will be required to determine the root cause of his/her/its affliction. If the child is deemed a "Victim of Bullying"- a virtual certainty - then additional studies (with accompanying grants) will identify, isolate and remove their oppressors for systematic reconditioning at regional facilities now under construction by our HHS affiliate.

If laboring in the beet fields leaves you unfulfilled, wanting to do more for The Party™and The Children™ I'd suggest picking up an employment application at your neighborhood Mental Health Office. I've applied for the High School Cheerleaders Confidence Building Instructor position at our local school. The future looks bright!

Hammer and Loupe wrote:

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After many observations in the local schools, the State of Many Sodas discovered that students suffer from intolerable anxiety before tests, and from overbearing depression afterwards.

Forward!

The Ministry of Love and Distribution of Treatment to Those Who Don't Want It (note new name) will certainly look into this grave error in the State of Many Sodas (what a strange name....state of baking soda? They don't mean State of Many POPS, do they?).

The nation has been offering yearly screening tests each year for depression that we hope are being offered to each secondary school student. And Anoka-Hennepin has not been offering this??? And the Twin Titti--er, Twin Cities make people have to ask for it?????

Currently, providing information for the screening is voluntary, but perhaps we should change that......

Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:The Ministry of Love and Distribution of Treatment to Those Who Don't Want It (note new name) will certainly look into this grave error in the State of Many Sodas ([highlight=#ffff00]what a strange name....state of baking soda? [/highlight]They don't mean State of Many POPS, do they?).

The nation has been offering yearly screening tests each year for depression that we hope are being offered to each secondary school student. And Anoka-Hennepin has not been offering this??? And the Twin Titti--er, Twin Cities make people have to ask for it?????

[highlight=#ffff00]Currently, providing information for the screening is voluntary, but perhaps we should change that......[/highlight]

Answering your first question, it could mean state of soda ash, misconstrued so duh, or the letters were misinterpreted of the location's name from taxes written "to due" as in the person forgot to pay taxes on something.

The second can be answered by commissioners like Commissarka Pinkie.