Michelle: Vote Early Because Your Toilet May Be Overflowing on Election Day

FLATUS has learned of the Rethugglikan plot to intimidate voters on election day into staying home and protecting their plumbing from espionage. The same intelligence agencies that blamed an attack on the Consulate in Benghazi on a YouTube video are preparing their press releases for the upcoming assault on the nation's crappers by Rethugglikan terrorists (yes, the word terrorist is appropriate in describing the missionaries operatives of Mitt Romney and his church party.)

FLATUS is encouraging early voting so that voters may stay home on election day having previously cast the maximum number of ballots by early voting and mail-in votes... Doing so will allow alert sentinels to monitor the toilets used by inner-city children™ (who eat good school lunches) so they will not be overfilled with Rethugglikan propaganda causing the need for cleaning and fixing by unionized plumbers and housekeepers.

FLATUS's own kitchen staff will be voting in shifts during the entire election season remaining; taxpayers will gladly fund the caterers who will take up the slack once they see the importance.

The PARTY™ is always looking out for the best interests of the People™ .

Michelle knows what she's talking about. Her own toiled gets frequently clogged too, with all the OPM she and her lesser half pour in it.

The First Lady of Overflowing Toilets of the United States (FLOTUS) has spoken!

FLATUS .... FLOTUS is right !
I remember how my toilet started to back-up about this time back in 2008.

Never fear, fair FLATUS! My government issue 0.66 gallon water-saving toilet has not clogged in years since I stopped using more than the one allotted sheet of toilet paper per visit. I also attribute my successful toilet flushiness to your prescribed diet of birch bark and beet juice. I haven't dropped a solidified duece in months! Nope, no clogs here!

On the other hand, I must ask you, FLATUS, for some glorious public transportation fare. My Government Motors ™ issue electric vehicle will only get me 3/4 of the way to the polling commissar on one charge.

You didn't build that Czar wrote:
On the other hand, I must ask you, FLATUS, for some glorious public transportation fare. My Government Motors ™ issue electric vehicle will only get me 3/4 of the way to the polling commissar on one charge.

Fear not YDBT Czar........
Just give your election officials a call and ask them to put in a " proxy vote " for you.

Hey, if they can do it for the dead, they can do it for the living !

So if he is the empty chair, is she the empty toilet seat?

Perhaps The Moo would share where she obtains at the People's expense the custom sized and fitted seats so that we may outfit our humble but equal outhouses .... just in case Cinnamon or the obamaphoney broad come to visit

Opiate of the People wrote:So if he is the empty chair, is she the empty toilet seat?

Indeed, Comrade Opiate, and she's SO MUCH MORE! She's FLOTUS, the First Lady of Overflowing Toilets of the United States!!

Just be sure to vote early - and vote often!

Dirty Harry meets Dirty Jobs to unclog Michelle Obama's toilet on Election Day:


-KOOK

Michelle Obama as FLOTUS, armed with 21st Century tool to Prevent Impediments To Voting, stands ready as an Election Day Volunteer to assist Voters Impeded by Clogged Toilets or Constipation:


--KOOK

That's why there is a shortage of BAYONETS in the TSA military.

Just like the shortage of lobsters in the fish markets these days...

ARE YOU IN?

Dear Lenin! Say it's not so, but to me this looks like

THE RETHUGLICANS HAVE DECLARED A WAR ON TOILETS!

I, for one, will not stand for this!

HANDS OFF MY CRAPPER!
U.S. OUT OF MY BATHROOM!
YANKEE, BRING ME A ROLL, THEN GO HOME!

100% Infidel wrote:Dear Lenin! Say it's not so, but to me this looks like

THE RETHUGLICANS HAVE DECLARED A WAR ON TOILETS!

I, for one, will not stand for this!

HANDS OFF MY CRAPPER!
U.S. OUT OF MY BATHROOM!
YANKEE, BRING ME A ROLL, THEN GO HOME!

Eeek! We simply can not be forced to return to the back-alley outhouses!