Business Insider: Abandoned Russian Cruise Ship Headed For Britain

Rumors of a so called “ghost ship” adrift somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean have been circulating recently. These rumors are false! I, your intrepid reporter and gatherer of nuts, have received word from unnamed, but reliable sources, that the “ghost ship” Lyubov Orlova is far from drifting aimlessly.

It was, in fact, hijacked by a highly trained team of rodent pirates. Just why they've taken the ship remains a mystery.

The right wing news media has characterized the heroic pirates as “cannibal rats” in an effort to downplay their remarkable achievement. Cannibal rats indeed! Are we to believe that a pack of undisciplined rodents have evaded the entire British Navy for nearly a year? Would they simply drift aimlessly like a bobbing cork as satellite surveillance teams scan the Atlantic for signs of their whereabouts?

No, comrades. There is more to this story. Much more. I know rodents, and these fellow travelers are not on a sightseeing tour! Rest assured I will be on the case throughout the weekend to bring you timely updates.

They are headed to the South Pole to rescue the DemocRATS from the other ship that is trapped in the global warming Climate Change!

Lenin bless the Cube. To what other website could I turn to see a headline like this?

Great googly moogly, and shades of Universe 25!

Get off the boat, Captain, before the rats start turning metrosexual!

Comrades,

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL to the rumor that The People's Navy nuclear propulsion systems are not safe and that they have caused mutations in a rodent population near the piers and berths. That these said mutations had increased the local rodent population cognitive abilities to the point that they wanted to mimic being actual People's Navy personnel by taking over and then crewing their own ship.

These are BLATANT FALSEHOODS!!!!

Also just FYI. The piers and berths have been closed until further notice due to some boring previously scheduled routine maintenance that errr......ummm is taking a tad bit longer then anticipated to be completed.

I would like to add that the rumors of cannibalism in the People's Navy are almost entirely unfounded.

Ivan Betinov wrote:I would like to add that the rumors of cannibalism in the People's Navy are almost entirely unfounded.

Comrade, what do you mean by Almost!!! Don't you mean entirely 100 percent unfounded!!!!!! Granted some clown did end up as being missing and he was last seen near the People's Galley and that there were several complaints that the food had really tasted funny that day, but that was nothing but a mere coincidence!!!!

Rodent hedonists! Materialists! As they engage in their perverse debauchery, an orgy of lust and sensual pleasure of epicurean proportions we must gird our loins to prevent this menace from gnawing at our very moral fiber, and from spreading to our shores and corrupting our innocent rodentia. Set that ship alight Cap'n Craptek and may God be with you!

Ivan Betinov wrote:I would like to add that the rumors of cannibalism in the People's Navy are almost entirely unfounded.

Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.

Commodore!

My unit was orderd to drive to this port to deliver your requested 65 cases of powdered soap. I'll need someone to sign for the delivery.

Seems pretty odd, this powdered stuff is going to be pretty tough to pick up in the showe--- oh. OH! ewwww!

"Guys, stack the boxes right there. The sailors will pack it away from this point!"

Rodent hedonists! Materialists! As they engage in their perverse debauchery, an
orgy of lust and sensual pleasure of epicurean proportions we must gird our
loins...

Out-standing! I haven't been to a good loin girding in years. Of course, I haven't HAD loins in years, so my participation, like my connection to the working class, will ber entirely vicarious.

Thanks for passing on the letter from the concerned reader, Lev.

Daniel Greenfield sees the arrival of cannibal rats to Britain as an immigration metaphor:

The Ghost Rat Cannibal Ship Will Enrich the UK

While the cannibal rat ghost ship may seem threatening at first, we should remember that each new set of arrivals was viewed similarly with suspicion. The Celts and the Saxons did not get along and no one liked the Normans. And when the Saracens overran London, everyone was really unhappy. But then the media kept talking about how the Saracens are contributing to the culture and their neighbors learned to overlook the honor killings, the beheadings and the Asian sex grooming gangs.

The cannibal rats will be no different. At their first arrival there may be moments of unpleasantness. The rats have been eating each other for so long, when they arrive in London and claim refugee status because they fear being eaten if they return home, will they then begin eating us? We don't know, but it would be nothing less than a sordid betrayal of our values if we were to turn the cannibal rats away out of fear that they will begin gnawing on our tender flesh the very first chance that they get.

It will be vital that we find common ground between our values and those of the cannibal rats. There is no doubt that the cannibal rats will have a great deal to teach us and we mustn't let their horrid appearance or their cannibalism customs interfere with the learning process. The sensationalist tabloid press has emphasized the cannibalism angle so much that it has entirely blinded us to their other virtues, to their close family connections, their rich cultural heritage and their love of music.

Like so many refugees, the ghost ship cannibal rats come to us from a troubled part of the world. We who are privileged to live in safety and comfort cannot even begin to imagine the traumas that have marked them and so we must be understanding if they occasionally forget themselves and bite us. The minor pain we suffer is nothing compared to the agony which these poor souls have endured.

More: https://sultanknish.blogspot.com/2014/0 ... nrich.html

Finally! I told you PETA was riding to the rescue!

I think there is a hidden subtext in regards to the SS Lyubov Orlova. First, the name. In Russki it means Lubrication of Love. I pine for the days of the USSR when such Western decadence would not have besmirched a proud Socialist ship.

Second, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin had the FSB Disinformatsiya Bureau spread the false rumour of cannibal rats onboard the ship. There are rats aboard the ship but they are few in number
1) Julian Assange
2) Private "Sexchange" Manning
3) Eric Snowden

When Putin isn't busy visiting poets in Leningrad, he's a savvy despot. He solved the Snowden problem and the rat problem and the ghost ship problem in one neat solution. He's having the Lyubov Orluva pushed closer and closer to the UK shores by utilizing Akula class attach subs to nudge it underwater at the chine, out of sight from the prying eyes of Obama's NSA apparatchiks.

SNOWDEN READY TO JUMP SHIP - STANDS ON GANGPLANK

Another theory has arisen about the Lyubov Orlova.

Putin is having the Akula-class attack subs nudge the Orlova towards the UK submarine testing grounds off Scapa Flow because his intelligence organs have uncovered disturbing news that the UK governmrent is refurbishing the QE2 cruise ship into a stealth submarine, able to infiltrate and defeat all known Russian defenses.

Her Majesty's Ship QE2 submarine beginning a test dive off the Orkneys
[attachment=0]QE2 Sub.jpg[/attachment]
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Red Square wrote:Daniel Greenfield sees the arrival of cannibal rats to Britain as an immigration metaphor:

The Ghost Rat Cannibal Ship Will Enrich the UK

While the cannibal rat ghost ship may seem threatening at first, we should remember that each new set of arrivals was viewed similarly with suspicion. The Celts and the Saxons did not get along and no one liked the Normans. And when the Saracens overran London, everyone was really unhappy. But then the media kept talking about how the Saracens are contributing to the culture and their neighbors learned to overlook the honor killings, the beheadings and the Asian sex grooming gangs.

The cannibal rats will be no different. At their first arrival there may be moments of unpleasantness. The rats have been eating each other for so long, when they arrive in London and claim refugee status because they fear being eaten if they return home, will they then begin eating us? We don't know, but it would be nothing less than a sordid betrayal of our values if we were to turn the cannibal rats away out of fear that they will begin gnawing on our tender flesh the very first chance that they get.

It will be vital that we find common ground between our values and those of the cannibal rats. There is no doubt that the cannibal rats will have a great deal to teach us and we mustn't let their horrid appearance or their cannibalism customs interfere with the learning process. The sensationalist tabloid press has emphasized the cannibalism angle so much that it has entirely blinded us to their other virtues, to their close family connections, their rich cultural heritage and their love of music.

Like so many refugees, the ghost ship cannibal rats come to us from a troubled part of the world. We who are privileged to live in safety and comfort cannot even begin to imagine the traumas that have marked them and so we must be understanding if they occasionally forget themselves and bite us. The minor pain we suffer is nothing compared to the agony which these poor souls have endured.

More: https://sultanknish.blogspot.com/2014/0 ... nrich.html

Ha! This is nothing new to me. I have tree rats begging for food at my doorstep daily. They know and I know they could suddenly overtake me and devour me at any moment. It's the "trust" we have for each other that makes my offering of food a certain "devotion" on their part, if you will.


p.s. They also know I could overtake them, simply by kicking them over the edge of my porch. Truth is, I'm bigger. They know it, I know it, so we live peacefully. That's the way of the world, the facts of life, et. al.

Juche Couture wrote:... the UK submarine testing grounds off Scapa Flow ...

Comrade Strange but True reports inappropriately and off topic: The sunk battleships in Scapa Flow are one of the few sources in the entire world for non-radioactive steel used in construction of high-sensitivity physics and medical equipment.

Lev Termen wrote:

Juche Couture wrote:... the UK submarine testing grounds off Scapa Flow ...

Comrade Strange but True reports inappropriately and off topic: The sunk battleships in Scapa Flow are one of the few sources in the entire world for non-radioactive steel used in construction of high-sensitivity physics and medical equipment.

"Veddy eenteresteeng, Herr Hogan!"

I read a non-fiction book by crime novelist author Joe Gores, called "Marine Salvage". The book devoted an entire chapter about a pre-WWII salvor who paid the UK gummint for the rights to salvage the German Kaiser's sunken WWI fleet at Scapa Flow. Other than a few destroyers, he raised & scrapped all the battleships and cruisers. He did it successfully and ingeniously, despite a shoestring budget.

Just sayin', yo.....

Nonsense, gentlemen. There is nothing to see here. Move along...