Dateline, the Kremlin, Moscow -

A Russian official today taunted USSA President Barackzebub Husseinovich Obama with a thinly veiled raaacist comment, saying that the west in their attempt to bring peace and democracy to Syria is like a monkey with a hand grenade.

President Obama himself was unavailable for comment, but The FLATUS (First Lady Above the United States) Mooochelle Obama stated that - well, we couldn't really translate it, since our wookie translator wasn't available either, plus FLATUS's mouth was full of lobster at the time.

How ridicule-ous to say this was dear leader, when it obviously as more resembles to FLOTUS. (oops, please inform myself if comments is "racist" or acceptable commenting on racist from Russian racist)

I am thinking the Peoples Gulag will be filling up with more Russian subversive, very soon.

Hah! The joke is on them! With the sequester, we have no grenades. So there!

Yeah, I don't see the insult working here at all.

Another "paper bag" candidate, Comrade Walrus. You are on a roll.

Comrade Obama used to buy condoms when dating Mooshell & when the cashier asks him you need a bag? He would just say, No she will tear right through it, do you carry chain mail underpants?

Comrade Walrus, it appears one of dear FLOTUS's... FLOUTI?... lobsters bite back? I do hope she and recover to full eating mode.

Then again, I suppose if he was referring to those kinds of monkeys who can lounge about all day in hot springs with grenades, he might be on to something ....