NEWS REPORT - VENEZUELA RUNS OUT OF TOILET PAPER



In an ironic twist of luck at the Worker's Utopia run by a President who dacayed faster than his body could be preserved for Hero Worship, Venezuela has run out of toilet paper. Current Pressident Maduro was about to blame the devil USA for his country's shortage, but he had to quickly make sure no one in the Presidential Palace would steal his personal stash of 10,000 rolls of Charmin.

Why did Venezuela Run Out of Toilet Paper?

Venezula had toilet paper?

Venezuela is leading the world in its progressive environmentalism. They didn't really "run out" at all - they just opted to use a more "natural" solution, i.e. the lush, green leaves of the native vegetation that is as biodegradable as that which it wipes. Sean Penn, Al Gore and the Sierra Club will praise the new premier for this latest initiative.

Oh, the old Soviet toilet paper jokes... Not again!

A woman walking in the street is carrying a bag full of rolls of toilet paper.
A passer-by opens his mouth, "Hey, mother, where did you buy it?"
"Are you crazy? Where could I buy it nowadays? I am taking them back from the cleaners."

Jeesh! I don't see the problem here.

When I grew up we used our trusty Sears Catalogs for TP. When we ran out, it was an easy fix to use our stripped (previously eaten) corn cobs. Wow! Talk about your "dual use" efficiency. We were so environmentally conscious then. Ah, what has happened to America?

We know not to shake left hands with an Arab but, who shakes hands like that anyway? Pfft!

Let's all, you know, like, chill! (to counteract Global Warming)

Comrades,

It's not a shortage of toilet paper, but a shortage of red dye.