Dateline Washington DC -
Today in the nation's capital Democrat Senator Diane Feinstein vowed to outlaw pleasure once and for all, starting with Assault Weapons.
"Assault weapons are 'personal pleasure(s)' that should not take precedence over the good of the nation," Feinstein stated, as she repeatedly and gently caressed with her fingertip one of the flies left in the chamber of the United States Senate when President Barackzebub Hussein Obama recently spoke there.
"And that's just a start on your personal pleasures," the senator added. "For all of you who are sooooooo worried about your precious Second Amendment, next in line will be the First Amendment, because I intend to crack down on the internet! No one needs to have unregulated assault access to the internet. Your so-called 'First Amendment rights' are also nothing more than personal pleasures, which the government gave you just like the Second Amendment - and what we give, we can take away!"
Senator Feinstein paused to wipe a bit of froth from her lips after she noticed the repeated wincing of the reporters in front of her, which was followed in each case by repeated wiping of their faces with various handkerchiefs and napkins.
"All your interwebs are belong to us! And so are your assault weapons!" the senator roared as she climbed on a broom and swooped around the Senate chamber, before exiting through an open window.
As shocked journalists watched out the window, Senator Feinstein was visible only as a tiny dot in the afternoon sky, with smoke trailing behind her spelling out the words "SURRENDER FREEDOM!"
Take note of how she uses familiar phraseology "Most people don't know what's in the Bill." Just like her home state hero Nancy Jagger-Pelosi said about the
PS: If you need me I will be out at the beach looking for those three chicks - just taking them a bottle of Hoppes to prevent barrel rust.
Comrade DeKoquonut, I have long believed that the very best perfume on a beautiful woman's body is a tiny dab of Hoppe's #9 behind each ear... and possibly elsewhere...
Just remember to run your cleaning rod from the breech toward the muzzle...
No need to feel lucky, Comrade - I just go out on the balcony once or twice a day and fire off a couple of blasts from my double barreled shotgun :O
But my - you ARE looking fetching in your black "gear", Comrade Putout!
Remember that while a progressive is going to be against gun ownership this does not stop him (or her) from having one.
Senator Feinstein is the current purveyor of the ‘Assault Weapon’ scam, is she not?
Will she soon be gracing us with a ‘Hate Speech’ swindle to eviscerate the First Amendment to go along with her ‘assault’ on the second?
OFFENSIVE IMAGE REMOVED by Red Square
DeKoquonutIt's a damn shame when you come up with the nuttiest crap you can to parody reality, but it's not as far out there as the reality seems to be any more.
PS: If you need me I will be out at the beach looking for those three chicks - just taking them a bottle of Hoppes to prevent barrel rust.Nyet, nyet, Toavarisch! Not to use Hoppe's No. 9 for such purpose. That only for removing fouling from barrel after long session of shooting DHS-supplied ammunition in Homeland Security Personal Defense M-16A4 rifle! Hoppe's No. 9 also leaves the bad smell of rotten fish in underwear after use. Much better to use FP-10 or MPro 7 LPX. Both far superior for purposes of personal lubrication and prevention of rusting while on beach. Also make fine enema for thought-constipated Senators from Peoples Republik of Kalifornia...just be sure to use Liberally. Bwahhahahahaha!
spymyeyesWell comrades, I think the only "assault" weapons out there today are used by the photogs that take pictures for money. Just look at this shot of the good senator enjoying a rare moment of peace at her home yelling at her neighbor and drinking an elite brew......
OFFENSIVE IMAGE REMOVED by Red Square
Not beer in right hand, Comrade. Actually is bottle of FEMADouche®. Due to sequestration, now must be supplied to masses in recycled Michelob bottles. Hot chick in still photo actually taking part in State-produced sex hygiene film for showing to grade K-5 elementary school students.
geoffMuch better to use FP-10 or MPro 7 LPX. Both far superior for purposes of personal lubrication and prevention of rusting while on beach.I'm a fan of MPro-7 myself; but even the fine folks at MPro-7 point out that, while their cleaner IS superior, it's perfectly acceptable to open a bottle of Hoppe's #9 whilst cleaning your weaponry, just for the memories, smell, and ambiance :)
It's important to note that an image of Dear Leader MAY leave a temporary resonance on one's monitor for a short period of time even after you have moved on to other things, say perfume ads, weaponry, and the like; therefore, even if an image of the president is NOT currently on the screen when a fly lands, there COULD still be a relationship; let's face it, he draws them like, well, flies.
BUT - if there has, in fact, been no representation of President Barackzebub Hussein Obama on your monitor in the last, say, hour or so and a fly lands - well, summer could be right around the corner. Where I live, I'd rejoice for just a hint of spring, myself.
Thank you for that explanation. I was beginning to worry, but since my favorite background image and screen saver are so very comforting on my 27" monitor I will enjoy and maybe even begin naming the flies! Peace be with you.