It has been tried before. Every attempt failed.

Evidence was tampered with. Witnesses disappeared mysteriously. Some celebrity died and everyone was distracted...

Not. This. Time.

I present for the People the evidence of the State vs. Marshall Pupovich. I was thinking of a show trial in the classical tradition, with much posturing, hollow threats and subterfuge. I will open a cold Tsing Tao and enjoy the festivities.

Exhibit 1: The Marshall consorting with conservative talk show host Glenn Beck:

EMBEDDED IMAGES NO LONGER AVAILABLE

Exhibit 2: Proof of the Marshall's undying commitment to capitalism:

Exhibit 3: Proof of the Marshall's close association with BusHitler:

Exhibit 4: The Marshall with konservative neocon uberbabe Michelle Malkin:

Exhibit 5: He certainly seems to have a thing for Malkin:

There is more. Much more. Time to pile on, and for me to open a Tsing-Tao and watch the fun.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Dear Lenin, yet more imperialist ThoughtCrime™ seeping into my beloved Party, trying to hamper the good work we have began. Clearly the work of some Bush holdouts. I had presumed that the good Comrade Colonel was above such shenanigans, but perhaps I was wrong. Now he has even confused my dear Comrade Pinkie who appears to have forgotten that it was I that did give her a promotion, not these bottom dwelling neo cons being abetted by our AWOL General MouseyTongue, whose puppy envy is all too well known. Commissarka, think of this, are you trying to imply that our Dear Leader Red Square could have been in error when he in his infinite wisdom promoted me? Now it you think I have risen too far in the ranks, imagine the heights I will obtain at the conclusion of yet another Show Trial? Yet if I can be of good service to the Party by volunteering to be tried yet again, then of course I am more than willing, knowing that my star will shine even more brighter than ever at the foreordained conclusion. But I must say that there are so many others that are far more deserving than moi. In fact Commissarka, perhaps if you would choose to submit to the Party's will for once and undergo a Show Trial, then you would finish with a promotion. Think on this Commissarka, how many times have I agreed 100% that you were due for a promotion? But you have to learn to think outside the defendant's box so to speak. I could of course start denouncing so many others for ThoughtCrime™. slothfulness, or just for fun, but how I ask would that move our progressive world forward?

I agree Marshal Pupovich, if these kapitalisth scoundrels want to try you yet AGAIN, how are you supposed to concentrate on the most esteemedwork you do for The Party and how will WE move the The Party™ forward through the reams and reams of destruction caused by the Bushitler and these cohorts?

Clearly the Commissarka, esteemed as she may be,more than due to face People's Justice™, and Mousey-Tounge!?!Disappearing for eons into the nether land, enjoying the kapitalist decadence of The House that Rush Built™, he ought to be ashamed and accept his lashings!

Those are serious allegations General, and after such a long stay abroad.

Hmmm... very suspicious... verysuspicious....

Ummm... can I vote twice?

√ No, he is a faithful Party leader, back off pussycat!
Not sure, but I have my suspicions!
He's a dirty dog. Rake him over the collective coals!
√ The gulag is too good for him, send him to the Rancho as Bruno's personal assistant!

See, Bruno does need an assistant, it's been hectic for him the last few months, what with Nansky, Jodin, Pearez, Janeane Gawdawfulo and other visiting the Rancho.

But then again, Pupovich is an esteem leader of The Party™. I mean he only got drunk twelve times during the Gang of Four Showtrial, but there's hope.

Why is this not out in The People's Blog for all to enjoy and denounce?

Good Question Commissarka, As it stands this would be a showtrial for the high court of Obama to test the worth of the Marshal, away from The People™ who love the Marshal so, clever kitty cat.

Now were it not for my commitment For the Children™ and my determination to keep the Party on track, I could easily denounce this AWOL General for failure to follow even the most basic rules and regulations to perform a Show Trial. Why, he did not even have to common sense to submit form ST666-BS-4SUR3 in triplicate using the required #4 lead pencil. He has taken it upon himself to declare himself prosecutor, a position that I might add, Commissarka Pinkie was promoted to by your very own Marshal, nor has he sought the permission of Red Square or even the Hero Space Dog.

Think about these things Commissarka, I really hate to see you "barking up the wrong tree" again. Not that I am going to lose any sleep about any of this. I can always use another promotion and pretty shiney medal at the conclusion. Look at the history Commissarka. I already hold the record for Show Trials. In fact, Resolution K9 was passed by the Supreme Council shortly after the last time I was tried, that I had been tried too many times already, and was preventing others from getting their just due by hogging the courts so much.

But again, it really comes as no sweat off my back, after all, dogs don't sweat as you should know. As for me, I am about to do the requisite turn around three times and lay down and crash. I do suggest that you think on what I have said, and not be drug into another blind alley by these amateurs. Remember, you are dealing with a Show Trial professional here. I really think you would be best served by getting advice from the Glorious Red Square, Laika, the Chairman if you can find his drunken self, and perhaps SMO and some of the more equal Inner Circle members before trying to bring me to heel.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Why is this not out in The People's Blog for all to enjoy and denounce?

Forgive me, Commissarka...I am a simple soldier for the Party. You make a valid point. Many who are not in the Inner Circle(TM) will no doubt have something to say, and we want to reinforce the appearance of transparency and fairness, no?

I fall on the graces of our Glorious Leader to forgive any perceived impertinence on my part. In my zeal for party unity, I may have may stepped in the kitty litter here. I hereby request Commissarka Pinkie to act as Special Prosecutor to move this show trial forward.

Red Rooster wrote:Good Question Commissarka, As it stands this would be a private showtrial for the concave navel to test the worth of the Marshal, away from The People™ who love the Marshal so, clever kitty cat.

We shall see, comrade rooster. We shall see.

I can explain my absence, by the way. My owner let me out and went on a drinking binge, and I was forced to take up temporary residence in a Kunming cathouse. The distractons, I should say, did delay my return, but never my commitment to The People^TM!

-----------------------------------------

Additional evidence presented for Exhibit: tainted pet food (yes,there was even a Rooster Chow variant). The lead poisoning explains a lot, doesn't it?

I too denounce Pupovich. When requesting arms for the Revolutionary Red Guard(TM) I was promised AK-47's. Instead I got airsoft AK-47 look alikes. Not quite suitable for waging a proper revolution.

Then there is the matter that I favor cats over dogs. Cats are in general cuter, make happier noises when you scatch behind their ears, and clearly exhibit multiple inner comrades, which makes them both cute and crazy, yet in an adorable fashion. Since I'm a sucker for cats that makes me slightly more suspicious of Pupovich. I do have a bone to pick with the General, but he started purring and making squeaky noises so I have to forgive him. Although that might have been simply because I got out a can of tuna fish...

But General, prog or not, we all have a thing for Michelle Malkin. Hell, even Commissar Theocritus does!

Dr. Strangelove wrote:But General, prog or not, we all have a thing for Michelle Malkin. Hell, even Commissar Theocritus does!

Well said, good comrade doctor. I understand him sitting in her lap...but on the podium?

A "Kunming cathouse"? That will haunt me forever.

Is this preparation for taking up residence in the People's Cathouse? That is not the Mustang Ranch but was formerly known as the House of Representatives. Under the guidance of Nansky Peloski it has been renamed to be more honest in nomenclature.

And, General, I'm in up to the elbows for any trial of Pupovich. The Rancho is <i>still</i> infested with the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits and I cannot go out without worrying about the talent-shitting pigeons that he has foisted on me.

I have prepared a room at the Rancho just for Pupovich, It's down a narrow and dark flight of stairs, and he won't be lonely. He won't be lonely at all. He'll have lots of company. He'll have <i>lots and lots</i> of these little snuggle-bunnies. Between Red Rooster, whose vision this is, and Pupovich, the contagion vector, the Rancho is uninhabitable now.

DSL, I do confess that at times I've been tempted to walk the side of the street more commonly traveled. And these temptresses were Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter.


You gotta love a babe like Coulter who opens every single book with a broadside guaranteed to cause prog aneurism. She understands perhaps better than anyone else these preening, self-righteous little monsters.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Then there is the matter that I favor cats over dogs. Cats are in general cuter, make happier noises when you scatch behind their ears, and clearly exhibit multiple inner comrades, which makes them both cute and crazy, yet in an adorable fashion. Since I'm a sucker for cats that makes me slightly more suspicious of Pupovich. I do have a bone to pick with the General, but he started purring and making squeaky noises so I have to forgive him. Although that might have been simply because I got out a can of tuna fish...

I am what I am...and that tuna was dolphin safe!

Well said, comrade Colonel. Our cuteness adds much to the collective. On the other hand, 'man's best friend' smacks of sexist bourgouisie hegemony. 'Best' is clearly over the top, as any superlatives at the expense of another minority are clearly outlawed in GroupThink^TM.

A dog's life...


We kitties are cuter...

Commissar Theocritus wrote:A "Kunming cathouse"? That will haunt me forever.

It will haunt me forever as well, comrade. I barely escaped.

As for the talented pigeons of Pupovich, he has yet to even accept responsibility for the damage done at the Rancho. Not to speak of the trauma suffered by Nancy when they crapped in her glass of 1956 Chateau du Noir, and she took a sip before noticing.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:DSL, I do confess that at times I've been tempted to walk the side of the street more commonly traveled. And these temptresses were Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter.


You gotta love a babe like Coulter who opens every single book with a broadside guaranteed to cause prog aneurism. She understands perhaps better than anyone else these preening, self-righteous little monsters.

The perfect woman: Malkin's looks with Coulter's wit and sense of humor.

Ahh, then there is their Mary Katharine Ham, whom they reserve as a secret weapon. Meow. I hate conservative men who live in the vicinity of such loveliness.

Not that the Kunming cathouse was that bad, mind you...

Pardon, General, but when you were at the Kunming Cathouse were you a cunning linguist?

I too like cats. Here's Calvin who owns the Rancho. His brother Hobbes is just a nudge.

Might I mention, that all of you will have to wait in line for Malkin, I knew her first, before blogs and Faux News and what not and what not... my Acorn thugs volunteers have been keeping an eye on her for a long time, in pretense for The Days of Fellow Travelers(TM) that The 0ne is now bringing upon us...

Commissar Theocritus wrote:A "Kunming cathouse"? That will haunt me forever.

Is this preparation for taking up residence in the People's Cathouse? That is not the Mustang Ranch but was formerly known as the House of Representatives. Under the guidance of Nansky Peloski it has been renamed to be more honest in nomenclature.

And, General, I'm in up to the elbows for any trial of Pupovich. The Rancho is <i>still</i> infested with the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits and I cannot go out without worrying about the talent-shitting pigeons that he has foisted on me.

I have prepared a room at the Rancho just for Pupovich, It's down a narrow and dark flight of stairs, and he won't be lonely. He won't be lonely at all. He'll have lots of company.

He'll have <i>lots and lots</i> of these little snuggle-bunnies. Between Red Rooster, whose vision this is, and Pupovich, the contagion vector, the Rancho is uninhabitable now.

No, it is The Cotton Tail Ranch, 95 between Vegas and Reno and not in the county of Nye. This is where I first saw this bunny. Which is a testament to the far and wide stretch of Pups Most Ubiquitous Pleasure Palace. A Diservice to The People(TM), who have to look at, let alone much else, bunnies like this Jimma Carta Nano-Wabit.

Yes, she wore combat boots, don't ask!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pardon, General, but when you were at the Kunming Cathouse were you a cunning linguist?

I too like cats. Here's Calvin

who owns the Rancho. His brother Hobbes is just a nudge.

A most noble feline indeed, and named after a character in my favorite comic art, nonetheless!

As for the Kunming Cathouse, let me just say I am saving any disclosures for my memoirs, which will be coming out shortly. That is, if my agent will get off his tail and shop the manuscript around, lazy dog.

Comrade rooster, why not commission an air-to-ground strike on Pup's Putrid Pleasure Palace or whatever its name has grown to. I shudder to think what else is growing in the shadows there. If it is such an eyesore, take it out for The Good of the Party^TM.

Comrade kitty kat, you're not getting me to change my stikes er, stripes that easy!

Although Bruno is in dire need of an assistant, AND Pup's Pleasure Palace has spawned such bunnies as described above, AND I ate some lead laced Pupovich Chow and now no longer require visits to Jiffi-Lobo(TM), AND on and on ad infinitum progressively into The Glorious World of Next Tuesday(TM).

It must be known, that most recently Red Star and I stole borrowed the Marshal's Zil, and well it's still in Ted Kennedy's care, if you know what I mean.

Commissarka, and to any other comrades still sane, sober, and progressive enough to understand simple logic, I will try one more time to avoid this waste of OPM that should be used For the Children™.....

Look around at those who are trying to lead you down this mildly amusing, yet futile path. You question how I rose so high in the Party ranks. But look at whom you are throwing your shovel in with, and mind you, everything I am about to say can be confirmed here within the cube with no need to "photoshop" made up evidence, as much fun as that can be.

Every title that I have been given, from the Commissar for Eco prostitution and mental health, to Marshal and Guilt Czar, was conferred upon my humble self by none other than the Glorious Red Square himself. I did not ask for these titles, though I do confess there was a time when I had openly hoped for the title of Vice Chairman, which as you know, was not conferred upon me. It was one position which I truly did aspire, yet so far, our Red Cube has not deemed it to be my time. You don't see me crying in my vodka about that do you? Yet you are being misled by a Colonel, a title by his own admission in the previous thread, did not earn or was conferred upon him by a recognized socialist militia. Then we have the curious case of the "General MouseyTongue" who made his first appearance claiming to be a "general." Can you find the thread where he was promoted to General by Red Square? No, we have just come to accept his presence because he is funny after all, and we all know how good his photoshop skills are, yet you will not find the post where he achieved his lofty presence.

Commissarka, don't fall for these feeble attempts. You, Theocritus, and I, we were all granted our titles by either the Chairman or Red Square for our progressive thinking, hard work, and dedication to the Party. We did not come here claiming a rank and then hoping no one would notice. Yes, I am a bit disappointed in Commissar Theocritus' apparent willingness to join in with this charade, but then he also will profit in any after the Trial party and barbecue, and he is still upset after a simple training mission went a little off track.

Yet let it be said, I am ever ready to do my duty should Red Square deem it a worthy objective. But also know, I may not have the time to attend this trial on a full time basis as before, due to my previous commitments For the Children™.

Think on these things my Commissarka. We both know that behind your lovely and fetching Socialist beauty lies a brilliant mind and a sharp shovel.

Pupovich, the interest on talent-shitting pigeons is quite usurious, nearly as bad as the interest that Texas taxing authorities charge. Which makes loan sharks blench and say, "Well, no, we aren't <i>that</i> bad.</i>. Please know that unless mathematics are rewritten, there is no way that you will ever manage to get out of debt for the talent-shitting pigeons. No way. No possible way.

Now I love you like a comrade but it's no fun to sit in your courtyard, your heels on the backs of a randomly chosen prole who is reciting Das Kapital Sutra just for your amusement, and find that your Mumbai Non-Conflict Sapphire gin and tonic has been anointed with the ordure of one of your talent-shitting pigeons.

General, Calvin's brother is Hobbes. A tuxedo cat who looks like a walking coffee table.

Good grief, am I the only one here in my time zone? This thread exploded with comments overnight. It's like as soon as I go to bed you all come out like roaches and rats. "OK, it's midnight EDT and Pinkie's asleep, now let's party . . . and PLOT against her!" And I'll wager there's gambling going on here, too.

Pupovich, Red Square obviously has a dog bias, for he gives you promotions at the simple wag of a tail. I remind him of all the hard work I do for The Party, and what do I get but another unexciting fix-up with some loser in a red hat who only wants me for my vodka ration cards? (Is it just me, or does anyone else see the tired old "her problem is she needs a man" at play here?)

As for the Colonel and General claiming certain high ranks and hoping no one will notice--now that doesn't make sense. What's the use of having a high rank if no one notices? YOU'VE obviously noticed! I'VE noticed! Yet YOU'RE the one complaining about their high ranks--clearly because YOU don't have those high ranks yourself!

And while dogs don't sweat, there's a reason your tongue is always hanging out of your mouth.

By Mao's Grave, Pinkie has a sharp shovel! All of the above is Lenin's Truth, and exposes the ThoughtCrime^TM of Pupovich and his stooges. The commissarka has toiled endlessly, sitting on ledges to protest Bu$hitler, and handed out toy shovels to the little tykes marching with her in the May Day parades. And let's not forget, it has been her diligent efforts and sacrifice for The Common Good^TM that have preserved the collective. And her charm, which warms the hearts of party appartchiks around the world, is legendary.

Commissarka, surely your time has come. The Party must bestow upon you high honor.

As for the Marshall, this dog has had his day. I know many others have evidence of the high treason committed by him and his spies. Stand forth and make your case!

Since Red Square has addressed me by the title of "Colonel" that should suffice as to my legitimacy. Besides, any good Revolutionary revolts first, and seeks permission later.

Since Pinkie is taking a firm stance (and I do like a woman with a good stance) on this matter, and she has a shovel, while Pupovich has talent shitting pigeons, and I have the Not For the People Level 10 Shotgun of Pigeon Blasting(TM) I'm inclined to see things Pinkie's way. (Also my head hasn't quite healed from the last whacking)

Although I can be easily bribed...

Comrades,

I could not call myself a Party Loyalist, if I did not put in a good word for the falseley beleaguered Marshal! He was most equal during the Show Trial of the Gang of Four. Comrade Marshall, do not be discouraged by the backstabbers in the Party. Dissidents they are, and as such, they must be ched. They are the real Thoughtcriminals for implicating you in these heinous acts. Who else is as decorated as you are? Just look at your shapka! Infidels they are! Infidels! We must do away with these counterrevolutionaries immediately for Peace! And The Children!

Thank you Comrade of the Infamous Gang of Four,

Poor Marshal... is it only Obama and us who see's the racist onslaught of this tribunal?

Oh. Come. On. Pupovich has the Pup's Pleasure Palace. He moans and whines about me having some of Meow's stuff but fails to remember that it was <i>my</i> stuff to begin with. And what's all this about Conspicuous Promotion? Pinkie and I are perfectly happy with our titles of Commissar and the feminine Commissarka. Because we're MadProgs, that's why, and don't need to do all that thrusting.

And while we're on promotions, I think that it's time that Red Rooster get one. I nominate RR to be a Commissar himself. As I recall, both Pinkie and I had been elevated when we'd spent as much time here, slaving in the salt mines for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday as RR has.

Although I have to say it was harder back then. Pinkie, I'm sure you'll agree. Then in any room you were in you could suddenly be assaulted by Our Many Titted Empress. And it was not pretty. Not pretty at all. I recall once when our MTE came to the Rancho and rode Bruno like a rented mule.

We were tough comrades back then.

Dear Leader Commissar,

Comrade Red Star already appointed me to the Graveyard Entrances some time ago, it's a meager job, but someone has to take care of the dead. Besides it fits my fowl disposition well, as I'm sure all you Cock hating backstabbers will agree.

Yes, I'm just fine with my meager and foul position, and beside The Party™ has been so kind to afford me the luxury of The Wombat Factory™, and listening to the fine music of the 6666 Janyt Woomba Lomba's cackle daily about OSHA regulations.

Comrade Vlad,

do you want some goat cheese with that beet whine? We are indebted to your service, but since you like to harken to the good ol' days like a two-bit veteran of the Great War for the Fatherland (Grosser vaterlaendischer Krieg) I believe it won't be much longer since your time has come to spend the rest of your day {no plural!} in a human recycling facility...

Dear Pieck. There is one thing that an old socialist like me knows: keep a <i>very good diary</i> when you're young, and when you're old it'll keep you.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Good grief, am I the only one here in my time zone? This thread exploded with comments overnight. It's like as soon as I go to bed you all come out like roaches and rats. "OK, it's midnight EDT and Pinkie's asleep, now let's party . . . and PLOT against her!" And I'll wager there's gambling going on here, too.

Pupovich, Red Square obviously has a dog bias, for he gives you promotions at the simple wag of a tail. I remind him of all the hard work I do for The Party, and what do I get but another unexciting fix-up with some loser in a red hat who only wants me for my vodka ration cards? (Is it just me, or does anyone else see the tired old "her problem is she needs a man" at play here?)

As for the Colonel and General claiming certain high ranks and hoping no one will notice--now that doesn't make sense. What's the use of having a high rank if no one notices? YOU'VE obviously noticed! I'VE noticed! Yet YOU'RE the one complaining about their high ranks--clearly because YOU don't have those high ranks yourself!

And while dogs don't sweat, there's a reason your tongue is always hanging out of your mouth.

Commissarka Pinkie!

I find all of your claims totally unfounded! To think some would conspire and gamble in risk while you rested your laurels! We are insulted!

And let's be frank, Comrade Mousey-Tongue of cards under the table, we have evidence of what you were up to in your absence...

And I'll wager there's gambling going on here, too.

Wanna bet?

Pupovich, Red Square obviously has a dog bias, for he gives you promotions at the simple wag of a tail. I remind him of all the hard work I do for The Party, and what do I get but another unexciting fix-up with some loser in a red hat who only wants me for my vodka ration cards?

Have you considered wagging a little tail at Red yourself?

I will go now and wait patiently for the inevitable contusion.

It depends, Betinov, on where you get whacked. Since you're already the victim of a very progressive cranial excavation, hitting your body would not hurt. Whereas if Pinkie were to hit you outside your jar, it would be with the force of a thousand Jiffi-Lobos.

Oh, and RR, you read my character well. If I'm going to play a game it won't be a game of chance. It's a lay-down. Like that old Mark Twain story where a man was in the dock for gambling, playing, I think, 7-up. He said it's not gambling, it's skill. And he challenged the judges. After he cleaned them out they acquitted him.

Thank you Commissar...

And might I warn you Theocritus, recent evidence suggests fowl play by none other than the Commissarka. Don't lie Commissarka! Evidence suggests that you have been flying a Soviet Spy Plane over the Rancho! Yes, SPYING ON THE RANCHO and conspiring to imitate Pup's talent shitting pigeons!

The Wombat Factory™ highspeed graphic satellite (that the Woomba Loomba's usually just use it to watch over Rethuglican Tea Partyers) caught your dastardly acts in process...

That's it! I knew it! I KNEW IT!!!

I am shocked--SHOCKED to find that gambling is going on in here!*

And women. I'll bet you comrades bring women in here while I'm asleep. Slutty, bad women with bouncing big bazoombas.

Oh, but the booze flows like stimulus money into a pork barrel, doesn't it? And you have nachos. With cheese! Yea, it's like the last days of Pompeii around here while the Commissarka lies dormant and now all of you must face the inevitable eruption.

As for the photo of me in the aircraft--that is a publicity shot issued by the Department of Defense just today. The Party wanted pictures of me flying through the air with various landmarks, such as the Rancho, in the background. We also buzzed a few teabagging parties--oh, how I loved watching those stupid little neocons scattering for cover like bugs fleeing clouds of insecticide!

And as for you, Betinov: It might interest you to know that in my last post, I nearly commented on the possibility of my shaking my butt and batting my bloodshots at Red Square, but then I decided I'd leave it to a reliable big mouth like you to point that out, thereby leaving you vulnerable to my shovel.

WHACK!!!

*My winnings?

Here Mousey, Mousey, Mousey........




There that outta keep the fiendish feline busy for awhile!

RED ROOSTER!!!!!!

Sorry for the late entry on this, been out in the beet fields all week. Our Glorious mentor the Marshall needs us to rally to his assistance to thwart this cheesy coup attempt by Mousey and Pinkie and their nefarious co-horts!!!!!

I stand with you Red in showing the true intentions of the fiends that are behind this attempt at putting the good Marshall on trial. I propose that we have a little summit between you and I as to what we can do to further expose their true agenda!!!! I have plenty of Snobwieser beer in the fridge.


Psst.......Let the Marshall know that these fiends will never discover what we found out at the rancho when we put him to bed in a drunken state and took his clothes off. I have to admit though that was some pretty good work by the Tattoo artist, he captured Reagan's face almost perfectly.

Oh Commissarka! After that we're not giving you a dime! No, not a penny, ummmm, because nothing ever went on! That's right, there was no gambling in here, none whatsoever, I swear on Obama!


(Psssssssttt... Here's your cut.. don't tell the guys...)

Snoogie!

Excellent casting!

(Pssst... mums the word on the tattoo, glad you didn't mention that out loud, that dirty feline would have been all over that for sure)

Hail The Marshal!

Genosse Pieck wrote:Comrades,

I could not call myself a Party Loyalist, if I did not put in a good word for the falseley beleaguered Marshal! He was most equal during the Show Trial of the Gang of Four. Comrade Marshall, do not be discouraged by the backstabbers in the Party. Dissidents they are, and as such, they must be ched. They are the real Thoughtcriminals for implicating you in these heinous acts. Who else is as decorated as you are? Just look at your shapka! Infidels they are! Infidels! We must do away with these counterrevolutionaries immediately for Peace! And The Children!

Genosse Pieck!

Humble apologies, I see you also stand in socialist solidarity with Red Rooster and I in defense of the Marshall! Between us and our other allies we will be able to turn back this attempt to besmirch the Good Marshall's reputation and restore glory to the party as we all march toward the world of next Tuesday.

I am currently investigating some underhanded dealings that cat was up to in China. It seems puss face is knee deep in copy cat Viagra plant there and then they sell pills as the real deal, made in America at a HUGE mark-up. I haven't quite got the goods on him yet though. He's pretty wily and sneaky. So this will not stand up in court as of yet.

Yep. Just as you described Snoogie, it seems our feline friend was up to his whiskers in Chinese organic Viagra laundering... I sent a few Janyt Woomba Loomba's to the San Francisco port (which they love by the way, so it was no problem by passing the OSHA regs and they didn't whine once) and they found this:

I could see it coming...so predictable...the personal attacks from the most likely sources, like flies and maggots on a dead carcass. It dismays me, though, to see Comrade Snoogie Woogums falling in with this sorry gang of Pupovich sycophants. I really thought you were smarter than that.

As for those sitting on the fence, so be it. Such fanciful photoshopped 'evidence' cannot conceal the truth, like an obscene tattoo on the Marshall's chest. I am surprised you had the nerve to even mention that!

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:It dismays me, though, to see Comrade Snoogie Woogums falling in with this sorry gang of Pupovich sycophants. I really thought you were smarter than that.

I am a true prog that believes in true prog justice and only have the peoples interests at heart. I have long ago put away my own self-interest on the back burner and only live to serve the party.

On the surface your evidence against the Marshall is pretty compelling though you haven't provided me any collaborating documentation to prove their validity. You should be able to provide me plenty of papers to show that the evidence is real. The papers should be in standard small denominational party format and deposited to swiss bank account to ensure that they also are not tampered with. Once received, I shall review the amount of paper deposited and if I find that it does back up your initial evidence then I might have a change of heart in my defense of the Marshall.

Remember this for the Party and the Children!

Of course, Comrade. Please confirm that, um, number for your private, um, mailbox. The one in the Caymans please, I hate doing business with the Swiss after the imbroglio there involving my entourage packing heat and an overzealous Swiss Guard. I am sure there will be adequate paper to explain everything.

Comrades, let me remind you of something. First, when my esteemed comrades are all at the Rancho, my socialist heart swells with pride.

Which does nothing for the garofalo-awful mess that you leave behind. I swear, when you leave there is such filth that it is a breeding ground for the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits.

Not only do I have to clean it up (well, all right, someone else cleans it up) but where's the rental fee? You don't think that exist on good wishes? From <i>this</i>crowd? It is to laugh.

Second, Pupovich, do not be dismayed about those pictures of the Reagan tattoo on your chest. These dear socialists haven't paid the processing fee to me, and so the pictures stay with me. Until they go to the highest bidder.

Contributions to the Rancho de Rio Grande, Pecos, Texas.

And Pinkie, I love your AWACS-on-a-prop plane photo. Because we are so tight I'm sure that you'll be flying over Louisiana instead of Texas to practice the talent-shitting.

Because no one knows better than you where to shake your money-maker.

Muchas pesos bound for Pecos!

What do you pay your maids, Theocritus? Or is it more like hazmat technicians?

This was also a problem at the Kunming Cathouse. They set up shop in a large abandoned school. Whole wings would be 'recycled' over a 4-year period in a manner similar to crop rotation. It was always entertaiing to watch the recovery team prepare re-enter a new wing to clean it up in preparation for the next cycle.

These strange creatures have been found around the facility...perhaps a distant relative of the JC nano rabbits? They have obviously developed to the point of adopting simple tools:


Hmm...bears a resemblance to someone...at least the hammer and sickle made the list!

Speaking of simple tools...we must focus on the many who have abetted and aided the Crimes of Pupovich. He has amassed a small fortune embezzling from Chairman Meow, plus receiving kickbacks for the illegitimate promotions he has bestowed upon his friends. Of course he can buy pardons many times over by influencing the naive and the corrupt. They will be flushed out in due time, but we must first clean this open wound on the collective.

If you confess, it will go better for you, Marshall!

PS: my accountant said it was important to note we prefer Euros to US currency, if that is acceptable...your other terms for the wire transfer meet our expectations.

Red Rooster wrote:Which is actually this Organic Chinese "Viagra" that Mousey Tongue pushes off in the DPRK with a very interesting slogan...

Just another Opiate for the People^TM, comrade rooster. And as I understand, you and your posse have been one of our best customers, enlarging and driving our profits to new levels. Thank you, on behalf of the Common Good^TM.

General, your story about the four wings in the Kunming Cathouse has touched me. In fact I was so touched that I wept, and Comrade Rosie O'Donnell has determined that she will inspect the Kunming Cathouse. So you'll have a cunning linguist there too.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pupovich, the interest on talent-shitting pigeons is quite usurious, nearly as bad as the interest that Texas taxing authorities charge. Which makes loan sharks blench and say, "Well, no, we aren't <i>that</i> bad.</i>. Please know that unless mathematics are rewritten, there is no way that you will ever manage to get out of debt for the talent-shitting pigeons. No way. No possible way.

PeopleMath™.... PeopleMath™....

Nuff said.

Comrade Mousey-Tongue,

You can not deny the truth before you, just as we could not, what did you expect us to do? Huh? Huh? Cook up evidence? Support your false claims against Pupovich?

Well I'll have you know we're not telling you a single thing! Not one word! We'll be damned if we tell you about the time Pupovich's Pleasure Palace deliberately spread genital herpes to goats, or the time Pupovich was caught chasing mice, drinking milk, and meowing for four weeks straight, or the time Pupovich ate bird seed and lived in cage for two years, no you can forget it! We're not saying a word.

We are loyalists to the core, and your pity party and guile will not work!

We won't fall for it.

You are clearly held high in the pecking order of the collective, comrade rooster! The Truth^TM will come out. And my excessive gambling winnings are there to help ensure the truth will be facilitated in any appropriate currency, including Pupovich Chow.

I am saddened to think of the young Pupovich, so full of promise sniffing butts and digging holes, only to come to this! I can see him now, staggering through the halls of the Pleasure Palace, colapsing in a pile of herpes-infested goat carcasses after trying to catch a mouse. Next thing you will tell me, he was sleeping with a porcelain doll.

The Truth^TM must be heard, the plaintive mewings of the opressed cannot be silenced!

Comrades, and Commissarka in particular, I wish to point out a few simple facts and make a few observations.

I have been blessed by the Party to have been the defendant in a record 4 Show Trials. and in the process been seen worthy by the Glorious Red Square to be promoted all the way from a humble yet progressive prole, up to Commissar, and finally to Marshal and Guilt Czar. I willingly submitted to this to be an object lesson to other Party members on the proper way to respond to the needs of the Party, all For the Common Good™.

Even our more recent inductees into the more equal ranks of the Party, Snnogie Woogums, Leninka, Comrade Pieck. and Comrade Red Rooster whose stock is still rising in my eyes, have shown the intestinal fortitude and love of the Party to have undergone a Show Trial and acquitted themselves in a manner that is worthy of our beloved Party and no doubt will reap the rewards that are due them in time. They did this For the Children™ and in submission to the People's Need™.

Now let us look at some others record.

#Show Trials
Commissar Theocritus 0
Commissarka Pinkie 0
General MousyTongue 0
Colonel 7.62 0

I could go on, but the point is made. Now am I trying to suggest that these Comrades are less worthy? Far be it from me comrades. In particular I must admit that at least Commissar Theocritus did bear the burden of taking care of The Empress through the good and the bad, but how long can you beat that old tired horse? Then there is the legendary and brave stand that Commissarka Pinkie made on that wall (which if you don't mind, was not alone there as I also took up my station on the wall not to mention risking life and limb when shots were fired). But I would suggest that perhaps certain comrades may wish to spend less time "talking the talk" and creating photoshopped "evidence" and spend more time in the docket in their own Show Trial to demonstrate their devotion to the Party, and thus For the Children™. There is nothing more cleansing to a progressive soul than a Show Trial as I am sure our recent Gang of Four will testify to. Look at how progressive they have become of late. I have little doubt a promotion is in the works for them even now.

Just one humble Pup's two rubles.

Ahh, the transfer was completed. Excellent!

It is time the collective came together as one...dogs and cats living in harmony, all striving for the glorious Next Tuesday! Let us put aside our differences and stride proudly together into the sunlight of a new enlightnement.

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:Ahh, the transfer was completed. Excellent!

It is time the collective came together as one...dogs and cats living in harmony, all striving for the glorious Next Tuesday! Let us put aside our differences and stride proudly together into the sunlight of a new enlightnement.

Agreed!!!!!!!

The Marshall has given all to the Party and in this humble Comrade's opinion should never have to be subjected to any future show trials. Let us all but this little spat between the Party factions to rest and get on with the peoples business.

Speaking of peoples business, General Mousey Tounge........ I have received your "documents" as to the validity of your initial evidence. It was most impressive, however in the future if there is another cause that requires more documentation from you could you use a little different format for the papers?

Documents the size of North Korean Won are a little hard to read and it was pretty WORTHLESS.

Clearly Pupovich has a show trial fetish. I must sadly suggest that he be remanded to the custody of Pinkie, and given a series of re education seminars to cure his perverted desire to be in the center of attention, tying up valuable court resources for other comrades who may require a show trial.

Snoogie, I sadly have to suggest that 7.62 is right. Pupovich is <i>defined</i> by his show trials. Why I remember how he actually proposed himself for a show trial. None of us really wanted it; we were so busy dealing with OPM, framing people, lying, distorting, and engaging in character assassination. You know, all those tried-and-true MadProg things. But because Pupovich is dear to us we all sighed, not in front of him, and <i>gave</i> him his goddamned show trial.

And again. And again. And for his birthday, or Lenin's birthday, or some holiday, I tried him again. Oh. I get it. It was for the infestation at the Rancho of the talent-shitting pigeons.

But really, we don't care about the show trials for the inner sanctum. We just do it to give dear, sweet Pupovich a pat on his head.

And so, Snoogie, let's not give Pupovich any more show trials. I know, I know, he just lives to show his chops strutting down the runway into the Star Chamber, but frankly, I"m an old and tired Commissar, and if you lived with Bruno you'd throw the razor blades out of your house to lessen the temptation to apply to them to your wrists, and so let's just say that Pupovich's four show trials are quite enough.

Indeed, four show trials shows that he is unjustly hoarding legal experience. Three of those show trials should be redistributed to others. I suggest hooking him up to some weird contraption with wires and batteries, and switches and thingies, and using that to transfer the memories of three show trials to other comrades.

Uh, 7.62, I so tired of his special pleading that with a combination of Jiffi-Lobo and jumper cables that he doesn't <i>have</i> any memories of those show trials, or indeed of any of his past life.

Making him the perfect prog.

Mousey, Colonel 7.62, Pinkie, Red Rooster, Theo and all other loyal party members both Pro-Marshall and agaisn't.

I believe I have a way out of this to mollify all. I happen to be Pro-Marshall but I am still relatively new to The Cube and just a recently inductee into the inner party. As the seasoned members have pointed out the Marshall does seem to be a bit of a show trail hog and do feel some sort of punishment is in order.

I feel that instead of actual punishment we show the Marshall what would be in store for him in the future if he wants to hog the show trail spotlight to gain another promotion for himself.

I believe a trip to Japan would be in order for the Marshall and that he spends at least three days in this place. It would more then a just punishment for a Pup of his stature.

Yes Folks...............Harmonyland, better known as, "Hello Kitty" hell.

Red Rooster, I'm so distracted by Pupovich hogging yet ANOTHER show trial, that my summary executions have been down lately. So sorry, I'll go round up a batch and dispatch them for your post haste.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Red Rooster, I'm so distracted by Pupovich hogging yet ANOTHER show trial, that my summary executions have been down lately. So sorry, I'll go round up a batch and dispatch them for your post haste.

The Blue Dog Democrats that are blocking our Glorious Leaders health care plan would do nicely Colonel!!!!!!

Colonel! Thank you, we need to fill the charts of the new Census post haste! NOW!!!! We need to fill the necro-proxy voter roles for 2012, NOW!!!!

Snoogie, Blue Dogs, you don't say? Blocking Dear Leaders most provential plan for our new glorious socialist utopia? Well I'll be damned! Has Nansky no more power anymore? She must need a makeover , oh yes we have seen to that, just today. Of course the results will take some time to take effect, but we're on our way! Bye, Bye Blue Dogs, hello Red, Red, Glorious Red Donkey's! And the progs of the future...

Oh, Comrades, why are we fighting so? This lessens the time that we can spend on our knees on our prayer mats facing 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. "Ohm. Obama Padme Hum..." We must worship the 0ne, for He is all.

We can work and search as much as the Tibetans search for a new Dalai Lama, but we will never find again anyone so perfect as His O'liness. He is the perfect encapsulation of Prog arrogance and greed.

All hail to Him! And quit this internecine bickering.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Oh, Comrades, why are we fighting so? This lessens the time that we can spend on our knees on our prayer mats facing 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. "Ohm. Obama Padme Hum..." We must worship the 0ne, for He is all.

We can work and search as much as the Tibetans search for a new Dalai Lama, but we will never find again anyone so perfect as His O'liness. He is the perfect encapsulation of Prog arrogance and greed.

All hail to Him! And quit this internecine bickering.

Commissar,

Agreed! Let us truly stop this bickering.

Here is a little gift for you and your wise advice.

Ah, thank you Snoogie... I fweel like so relaxed now, like I just wanna like, go outside and hug the trees and the deer and the elk and the racoons and the skunks..

ummm.. o.k. maybe no the skunks, Senior.

*doing the chicken dance into the night*
"Kume Buy Yahhh, My Lawrd... Kume Buy Yahhh... Kume Buy Yahhh, My Lawrd... Kume Buy Yahhh... Kume Buy Yahhh, My Lawrd... Kume Buy Yahhh... Kume Buy Yahhh, My Lawrd... Kume Buy Yahhh... Kume Buy Yahhh, My Lawrd... Kume Buy Yahhh... Kume Buy Yahhh, My Lawrd... Kume Buy Yahhh... Kume Buy Yahhh, My Lawrd... Kume Buy Yahhh..."

That made me feel so good that I hugged the coyotes and the mesquite and the greasewood. I was so relaxed that the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits came up to me to be petted. Which I did and as I soon as I'd get one I'd wring its little neck.

They're stupid, those nano Jimmy Carter rabbits. Just like Jimmy Carter.

Comrades, please do not let Commissar Theocritus lead you down his own version of truth as opposed to the Party's Current Truth. Sadly, they are not synchronous ever since that unfortunate training exercise. It seems he has still not cleansed his tin foil hat... or shall we say in his case, tin foil crown, and so his reception is filled with In addition, and I have been loathe to mention this to the dear Commissar, but talent shitting pigeons require more than just cleansing, for their bomb load contains some weaponized microbes known as the Dirty Harry Reid strain.

Yes, I have been the subject of Four Show Trials, but comrades, I did not choose to be the defendant in three of them. The facts are out there comrades if you wish to see for yourself. Yes, I did denounce myself once and suffered the pains and cleansing of the Show Trial, but I did that in order to wake up some in my dear Party that I felt had become too apathetic. Nor will I object to submitting to a Show Trial at some point in the future should it be of some benefit to the Party. But now is not the time comrades, and I do believe the poll indicates this as well.

Show Trials ideally, should serve a purpose. If my comrades short term memory was better, then they would recall that this last Show Trial of the Gang of Four was done for a specific reason. But we all should be willing to undergo this most defining ritual as the Spirit of Stalin leads us, or as the Party requires.... always For the Party.... For the Party comrades.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:That made me feel so good that I hugged the coyotes and the mesquite and the greasewood. I was so relaxed that the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits came up to me to be petted. Which I did and as I soon as I'd get one I'd wring its little neck.

They're stupid, those nano Jimmy Carter rabbits. Just like Jimmy Carter.

Happy to help! Just a tweeny weeny favor from you and Red Rooster....could ya pass me the barf bag after your finished with it.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:That made me feel so good that I hugged the coyotes and the mesquite and the greasewood. I was so relaxed that the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits came up to me to be petted. Which I did and as I soon as I'd get one I'd wring its little neck.

They're stupid, those nano Jimmy Carter rabbits. Just like Jimmy Carter.

LOL! Oh, you clearly refer to model 1.01. They were just a test bed vehicle. We are up to version 5.752 Commissar, and trust me, quite effective indeed.... and nearly invisible to anything less than a scanning electron microscope. You can't wring their necks even if you could find them.

Pupovich, there you go <i>again</i> with these phantasmagorical claims. There is <i>no freaking way</i> that you can minimize the teeth of a nano Jimmy Carter rabbit. What are you going to shrink? The brain? Hahaha. Soiled myself there. The little tiny legs? So what?

It's the TEETH, Pupovich, which what make it so fearsome. If you shrank the teeth it wouldn't BE a nano Jimmy Carter rabbit and it couldn't hiss, "Nuclar! Nuclar! Nuclar!"

Get a grip and quit trying to frighten me. If you've ever returned home to find Bruno singing "Tico Tico no Fuba" then you're pretty well inured to anything.

It is quite simple Commissar, the teeth are not minimized to fit... no, they are built up atom by atom using a machine similar to an electron scanning microscope. I use the same sort of techniques used to develop today's microchips, though of course with certain protected technologies that I am not at liberty to divulge.

But you need not worry about them Commissar, as I have promised, I have left firm directions to my squadrons in an effort to make sure no such training accidents can recur. My word is my bond Dear Commissar.

I agree Marshal Pupovich, as a prog, my word is my bond too. The Party™ has seen fit to take the gangsta progressive bond of our word ideology into manufacturing and reliability as well. That's how we create such outstanding products for The People™, like this fine product...

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote: Happy to help! Just a tweeny weeny favor from you and Red Rooster....could ya pass me the barf bag after your finished with it.

Here you go Comrade Snoogie, when your done just rinse and repeat...

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrades, and Commissarka in particular, I wish to point out a few simple facts and make a few observations.

I have been blessed by the Party to have been the defendant in a record 4 Show Trials. and in the process been seen worthy by the Glorious Red Square to be promoted all the way from a humble yet progressive prole, up to Commissar, and finally to Marshal and Guilt Czar. I willingly submitted to this to be an object lesson to other Party members on the proper way to respond to the needs of the Party, all For the Common Good™.

So what are you complaining about, Pupovich? We're blessing you again! We're setting you up to be promoted--again! And for me to be passed over--again! And you've always been willing to submit in the past, so what's the problem now?

Now let us look at some others record.

#Show Trials
Commissar Theocritus 0
Commissarka Pinkie 0
General MousyTongue 0
Colonel 7.62 0

Well, excuse me, but what's stopping anyone from demanding I be put on show trial? (Besides my shovel.) Or for that matter, the Commissar, the General, or the Colonel? And Theocritus did make an excellent point about how you did once put yourself forward for show trial. Can we help it if we're not forever getting ourselves entangled in all manner of Pupbrained schemes and skullduggery, like your ongoing attempts to usurp Chairman Meow--who has been absent for some time and who I'm beginning to suspect may have been mistaken by a certain dog for a bone to be buried in someone's back yard, if you get my meaning.

Besides, we're halfway through summer vacation, now in August when it's all reruns and we're starting to get bored. It's either this or making crank calls to ask people if their refrigerators are running.

Admit it, Pupovich. You love being on show trial. You love being promoted. In fact, I seem to recall Red Square promoted you to Marshal just because you were feeling down in the dumps--and I gave you Beet of the Week for nothing and your jalopy has been oxidizing in the Reserved for Beet of the Week parking spot ever since, when Maksim should be the one parked there most of the time.

Comrades! Are you all beginning to think what I'm thinking? He feels so put upon. He feels so victimized. He enjoys putting himself forward for show trials to show his solidarity with the downtrodden, only to whimper and whine when he finds he may have to put his solidarity where his mouth is.

Comrades, I do believe if we shaved off his fur, we would find Jodin Morey. And it's not a Reagan tattoo on his belly, but a little red burn from the glancing blow of a rubber bullet on his back!

Lay down with Mimes, you wake up with fleas. Confess, Pupovich!

Oh. My. God. Pinkie, you're put your shovel right on it. He <i>is</i> Jodin Morey! That's the best explanation that I've ever heard for all this whinging. Yes. The complaining, the thrusting. Yes. Jodin Morey.

But there's only one thing that bothers me--Jodin Morey wouldn't be able to train the talent-shitting pigeons. I mean he'd be glad to do the talent shitting himself, but training pigeons? I don't think so. Which means that the only possible explanation is that, as you suspected, he's locked up Meow and made <i>him</i> train the talent-shitting pigeons to keep us from suspecting that he is in reality Jodin Morey.

Very clear, yes, and very troubling. After I have had my after-dinner mice snack, I will pursue further investigation. I believe if we find Charmain Meow, we will find the answer to these and many more mysteries.

But my fellow progressives, what of the plight of felines on The Peoples' Cube? Is it not time to end this pro-canine discrimination and promote the felinization of the collective? 'Clawz Becuz We Care' or something like that. It isn't enough that Pupovich answer for his crimes...there must be reparations made to all kitties in the collective, to be distributed fairly and equitably...by me.

But my fellow progressives, what of the plight of felines on The Peoples' Cube? Is it not time to end this pro-canine discrimination and promote the felinization of the collective? 'Clawz Becuz We Care' or something like that.

Sheesh Mousey,

I tossed you a fine salmon earlier (sorry about the hag in the picture that caught it but good help is so hard to find these days). I guess you need some more scritchin behind your ears, to massage that oversized feline ego of yours.

Here you go.




There is a pretty fine kitty babe for you at the end also.