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Stalin Quits Stallin'

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Comrades,

Certainly some of you have already received the Party memo concerning hitlerrantsparodies in which the infamous Nazi is taken out for a virtual intellectual and material-dialectical beating, although Hitler does inadvertently promote the need for government control of Internet content: In one scene in this parody, he is informed that his request to have parodies of himself removed from YouTube have been spurned. Come nationalization, only those deserving of parody, such as Hitler, Christians, carnivores, and George Bush, will be allowed to be parodied.

But I am digressing, for Comrade Stalin has decided to transgress the boundaries of Hitler parodies by reconstructing new ones and setting forth ideas for yet more progressive ones, including wholly new topics. Yes, it might seem at times that Progress is faltering here and there, but for those from the '60s who can remember and those who are not and therefor need a refresher, there was a period line of "Better Living through Chemistry," often used as a reference to yet another capitalist opiate: LSD.

With this refreshing oratory from the acknowledged master, we can perhaps say: "Better Communism through IT." I know it leaves me intoxicated with inspiration for the Party and Progress!


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Comrade_Tovarich - are you posing as VikingNinjitsu on YouTube? Don't make an attempt to leave until your true identity is verified.

[img]/red/images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

I would love to make a parody of Stalin, but I wish it were a different speech, with the usual Party sloganeering. In this speech he is rallying the troops in a fight against the Nazis during the war, and it just doesn't feel right to mock it. To me, it's not just random funny sounds; I understand every single word.

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Here's one where Stalin talks like a standup comedian and also does the ultimate product placement, but unfortunately it's too short.


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Comrade Chairman, perhaps you could provide a list of Party approved videos of Stalin so manipulators like Tovarich and Snoogie can avoid committing a thoughtless thought crime.

I have been thinking about getting in on this video manipulation racket too. However my other Party duties (like making mud wrestling pictures for high Party officials) keeps getting in the way.

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Comrades,

I actually found this as a supplied YouTube link off the Hitler parodies and had no understanding of what was actually said: The speaker spoke and I was guided. The video seems to have originated at a Russian site, if the little bar in the top right is true, which makes Comrade Red Square's explanation of the Russian content all the more curious as to who made it and why.
Last edited by Comrade_Tovarich on 8/3/2010, 1:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: clarification

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This one may actually be the best - Stalin talks at length, gestures, and espouses the usual BS. The transcript is posted on YouTube, In Russian and English (a poor electronic translation, but you'll get the gist).

There is the problem of the booming noise, but it can also be capitalized on, as it (a) adds authenticity and (b) can become the focus of his speech.

SCRIPT SYNOPSIS 1:

Stalin talks about the capitalist plot to plant a constant booming noise in his head. This drives him mad, but he is determined to maintain his sanity for the good of the people and the Motherland, and hopes the Soviet people will respond by working even harder on eliminating similar noises in their heads. Those who claim they don't hear any noise are traitors, spies, and capitalist collaborators. All people without the noise in their heads must be eliminated for the Greater Good. The doctors who fail to treat it are being continuously sent to the Gulag. There is hope that such natural selection will result in a breed of doctors who can treat noises in the head instantly with one touch of the stethoscope. And so on.


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I loved the videos where Stalin had to hold up a "stop clap" sign because no one dared to be the first to stop. As it should be in a good collective, fear motivating the people to greatness.

Who today would dare stop clapping for Comrade Obama's speaking for fear of a racist accusation? Fear, the essence of progress and equality.

For those of a religious leaning, does not the Bible say "fear the Lord" and "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom"? So it is on our earthly plain, fear The State, fear Our Beloved Leaders. This is good and right.
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ComradeTovarich has brought up a very important issue here. I for one am sick and tired of these Hitler Bunker videos. Der little Fuhrer getting all this publicity is sickening. As Socialists go, he pales in comparison to our beloved Stalin. Just in body count popularity alone, he's not even one quarter of our Dear Great Leader.

This is an absolute insult, nay it's more like the little man with the mustache has declared war upon us again. Well, if it's war he wants then war he shall get! Comrades, it's time we throw down the iron gauntlet of the People's Technology. Let the Video Wars begin!

Suggestion:
Sub-titles work for the Bunker videos because there's so much going on. The Stalin videos are best suited to "voice over" technology. Like the old martial arts films, an English voice over could easily be dubbed in the video. All that's needed is a script and an English speaking man with a heavy Russian accent. Record the audio performance digitally and then dub it in. Question is...sigh.... where in the World would we find such a man?

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Comrades,

I wonder if Cepstral will release an Obama synthesized voice. That would be progoriffic for Comrade Grigori E.R.'s suggestion!

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Comrade_Tovarich wrote:Comrades,

I wonder if Cepstral will release an Obama synthesized voice. That would be progoriffic for Comrade Grigori E.R.'s suggestion!
Most glorious and equal suggestion! From the image of Stalin come the dulcet tones of our "First RED President"! My heart papitates in utter expectation of such fine suggestion implementation!

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Let's come up with a script, I can then narrate it with an exaggerated accent. And since I'm the narrator, it's only logical I finish the job by mixing it into the video. Unless you specifically want to do it yourself, then I can email you the MP3 file.

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I think Comrade Stalin would be most excellently suited for a series of campaign endorsements for the most progressive candidates as we approach the upcoming election.

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Red Square wrote:Let's come up with a script, I can then narrate it with an exaggerated accent.

Brilliant! (what do you mean exaggerated?)

If you could see me right now, I'm standing in front of my computer clapping frantically like Pelosi at the State of the Union speech. (several minutes pass)

Can I stop now?....my hands are starting to hurt......it really hurts now......ah c'mon comrade wave your hand or something.....Ok, ok, forget the joke about your accent....and the oregano....(Red Square finally motions with his hand...Whoopie falls back into his seat, his hands swollen and throbbing)

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All excellent ideas Comrades. I'm thinking Red Square's "SCRIPT SYNOPSIS 1" would be great for espousing the benefits of Obamacare. Maybe easiest for all to start with synopsis of your script ideas and post them here. We can then turn them into actual scripts. Let the fun begin Comrades.

Possible expansion of this effort:
Maybe the People's Cube declaring War on the evil, Fascist Socialists? The eternal struggle? Evil Socialism vs Good Socialism?

Here's a thought...........Our beautiful Cube Women vs Evil Fascist Women as in Wrestle Mania? I believe our Comrade Whoopie is working on something along those lines.

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Comrades, there is capitalist plot to plant a booming noise in my head. It won't stop. I hear the sound of "Get your Che shirts here at the People's Cube" What is that? The noise is driving me mad.

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Comrades,

I do have a Che shirt.

However, I must admit the former Yugoslavian now Slovenian band Laibach has a fine selection of T-shirts. I had no idea that the band's fans include Putin, Ahnold, Berlusconi, the Mad Qad of Libya, and Hillary with the tagline "We believe in HER," and for just €20!

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Red Square wrote: SCRIPT SYNOPSIS 1:

Stalin talks about the capitalist plot to plant a constant booming noise in his head. This drives him mad, but he is determined to maintain his sanity for the good of the people and the Motherland, and hopes the Soviet people will respond by working even harder on eliminating similar noises in their heads. Those who claim they don't hear any noise are traitors, spies, and capitalist collaborators. All people without the noise in their heads must be eliminated for the Greater Good. The doctors who fail to treat it are being continuously sent to the Gulag. There is hope that such natural selection will result in a breed of doctors who can treat noises in the head instantly with one touch of the stethoscope. And so on.


And 13 looks of longing for The Bottle™, that's not fruit juice comrades! I feel so inadequate comrades, I never knew Comrade Stalin was such an introverted drunk, er.... did I say that out loud, what I meant to say comrades, was I admire Comrade Stalin's Cajones! Yes that's it...

Hail Stalin! He believes in HER!

Would you like another drink, my loverly?

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"[highlight=#ffff99]And 13 looks of longing for The Bottle™, that's not fruit juice comrades![/highlight]"

I was thinking the same thing. The tell of the man is not what he's saying. He's speaking volumes non-verbally. His body language, his eye movements, everything speaks to what's really going on in his mind.

Soooo......... I'm thinking a script about what's going on in his mind. We could do thought balloons or dub in a voice for thinking out loud. I'll do a possible script using sub-titles and post it here.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:I think Comrade Stalin would be most excellently suited for a series of campaign endorsements for the most progressive candidates as we approach the upcoming election.

Comrades,

Were it not for the fact that the inherent inequality and oppressive nature of AmeriKKKa gave me no choice but to flee it for another land, I woud heartily endorse this position; however, I cannot identify all the deserving candidates. I just keep thinking of The One, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid. Surely others are just as deserving, but I would hate to vote or promote in ignorance.

Wait a minute, this is sound Party-line thinking: I heartily endorse this! Life is always better when the Party thinks for me.


 
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