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Korrekt Marxist Approach to Exercise

Hi, The People's Anthony Sullivan here for another state-approved product.

As with all zealous comrades, you have these dilemmas. You happen to be an unmotivated and lazy member of the proletariat in need of an incentive to exercise, or the time you want to spend on fitness is also the time you could've spent studying the korrekt thoughts and dreaming the korrekt dreams about The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™, and you tear yourself apart at this dilemma.

But now there is a solution! Introducing a state-approved fitness tool that has yet to be named! Just strap in, and let the fun begin!

You no longer have to choose whether to exercise, or study and practice the korrekt ideas. Do ALL of it simultaneously.

How does it work? It's simple. You watch the march towards The Glorious World of Next Tuesday on your screen while at the same time simulate your own advancement towards that goal. When you have reached your goal, or passed out from exhaustion (whichever comes first), you will be kindly permitted to leave.

It is also guaranteed to be able to cure the lazy, and unmotivated proletariat too! In a test environment, this method has increased the participants' motivation to be rather working in the beet fields by 1,000,000%.

So what are you waiting for? (No seriously, you will be penalized if you wait any longer) Visit your local commissary of state-approved goods today!

Don't forget to vote on the above poll, or leave a new brand name suggestion below.

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Transgender boy wins girls' state wrestling title for second time
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You can't beat rassling for all around exercise!
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Comrade Putout wrote:.
Transgender boy wins girls' state wrestling title for second time
.
You can't beat rassling for all around exercise!
.

Maybe one day a simulator for that shall exist; who knows what the future will hold...

Perhaps this simulator would be the korrect party approved method to train....

trashmouth wrote:

Perhaps this simulator would be the korrekt party approved method to train....

Yes, but there is lacking a treadmill, unless my kommisars are making a new product behind my back; in that case, why are they not letting me know? I'm not merely a Neo-Kulak in need of liquidation, after all.

I can see several options for the brand name:

- Red Star Trac
- Hammer & Sickle Strength
- Stare Master

Red Square wrote:I can see several options for the brand name:

- Red Star Trac
- Hammer & Sickle Strength
- Stare Master

Not too bad ideas...

For all those who wish to tone and strengthen muscles while learning valuable skills of which centuries of unprecedented wealth & prosperity crass, profiteering KKKapitalism have robbed you:

Pampered proles these days. Back when I first joined the Cube all we got was a shovel and a trip to the gulag where we learned how to use it.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Pampered proles these days. Back when I first joined the Cube all we got was a shovel and a trip to the gulag where we learned how to use it.

There's a simulator for that on that too; then again, that strengthens your statement.

Truly are these new days easier for them!