In the USSA, we do not stab the melons. Violence against melon kind is frowned upon. You will get arrested.

For this summer, I ask you to join me in the campaign for Melon Murdering Awareness.

Bring all your melons to your nearest community station, and they will be process by our finest persons, non-human and human.

We will store them in a safe environment away from the melon stabbers.

I was unaware of a campaign of violence against melons. Is there a hashtag? What color awareness ribbon do I wear? Is this directed against only the undocumented melons from the south or are domestic melons endangered as well?

Adding insult to injury! Stop the violence already! Watermelons are our friends!

Tovarichi wrote:I was unaware of a campaign of violence against melons. Is there a hashtag? What color awareness ribbon do I wear? Is this directed against only the undocumented melons from the south or are domestic melons endangered as well?

#Saveourmelon
Melon is color.
All melons are threatened. I call it planned genocide.

The White House is on top of it.

According to online court records, Cervellino was arrested on July 12 and charged with threatening a watermelon. His lawyer insists the melon was behaving in a suspicious manner and Cervellino had every right to ask it for proof of purchase. The melon was not available for comment, but witnesses insist it was carrying seeds at the time of the incident. No court date has been set.

Is it possible that the press has this wrong, and the melon was female, and practicing proper retroactive birth control? I wouldnt want the melon to be punished with a baby...

Aha! I sense a coded hate crime! (I would have said "dog whistle," but this is discriminatory against dogs who do not whistle.) Note, please:

* Watermelons are red, white, and green.
* Mexican flag is red, white, and green.
* Therefore, attacks on watermelons are coded attacks on Hispanics.

And if anyone speaks of an undistributed middle in that syllogism, I will bring suit on behalf of all persons with curvaceous middles.

#MelonIsMurder

Zordon wrote:#MelonIsMurder

Melon.is.Murder.jpg

#melonisvictim #melonisabused #meloncholy

Comrads!

I was looking through the book of face and came across a question from Comrad Quinn. It says, "How can I identify them stabbers?"

Well Comrad Quinn, we do have the identifications for finding them.

Second, the persons will possess the melon and knife.

Third, is the Stare.

Fourth, is mention of the melon as a refreshment and dessert.

Is there anything I forgot?

Hammer and Loupe wrote:Comrads!

I was looking through the book of face and came across a question from Comrad Quinn. It says, "How can I identify them stabbers?"

Well Comrad Quinn, we do have the identifications for finding them.

Second, the persons will possess the melon and knife.

Third, is the Stare.

Fourth, is mention of the melon as a refreshment and dessert.

Is there anything I forgot?

Yes indeed. Who is on first?

Comrades! Hello. I am new to the Glorious Motherland.

As for the hashtag,

#yesallmelons

за родину! Для Сталина!

Welcome new comrade,

Please for the benefit of the state edjukatid among us, translate the mother tongue into english as not all habla the lingo.

Then get your shovel and tend your beets....

It says for the Rodina! (motherland) For Stalin!

And so it does, but now all may share in your enthusiasm and loyalties to the Party...

This evening after the shovels have been cleaned and inventoried, stop by the toolroom door behind tractor barn #2, join us for political discourse, singing of marching songs, and fermented light refreshments....

Is it possible that the press has this wrong, and the melon was female, and practicing proper retroactive birth control? I wouldnt want the melon to be punished with a baby... "
Komrade, I have it on good authority (Harry Reid's imaginary friend told me) that the melon was a seedless variety. So this was a hate crime against LGBT melons!

RedDiaperette wrote:

Hammer and Loupe wrote:Comrads!

I was looking through the book of face and came across a question from Comrad Quinn. It says, "How can I identify them stabbers?"

Well Comrad Quinn, we do have the identifications for finding them.

Second, the persons will possess the melon and knife.

Third, is the Stare.

Fourth, is mention of the melon as a refreshment and dessert.

Is there anything I forgot?

Yes indeed. Who is on first?

Need not to know Who is on first. Smile keepers took care of it since first is capitalist propaganda. Dear Leader told me What is on second.