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Syrian refugees to take over US homeless shelters

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WASHINGTON, DC - As hundreds of thousands of Syrian refugees are looking for a place they could run to from the war, many countries are closing their borders, resorting to a racist vetting process. Dear Leader Barack Obama, on the other hand, speaking from within the White Fortress, has promised to open America's gates to these unfortunate Mohammedan souls.

This brings up the question of accommodation for the unfortunate. Just in time for this, a government-backed survey has determined that America's homeless shelters have long been abused by the country's poor, mentally disabled, and drug and alcohol addicted, as well as by some war veterans, who have long overstayed their welcome.

It is only fair that the nation's homeless shelters be cleared of the above groups of US citizens, upgraded with prayer rooms and foot-washing facilities, and be used to accommodate the arriving tired, poor, and huddled Muslims yearning to pray free, dine free, and shop free.

This plan is going to be implemented in all 57 states, regardless of whether their governors want it or not. The question of where the existing destitute Americans will go from here remains moot, but some of the refugee representatives have assured the federal government agents that making a few thousand people disappear without a trace is not a problem for the new arrivals, many of whom are trained and have extensive experience in just this sort of problem-solving techniques. They even offered help in clearing the shelters of the current residents and taking over their management without any need of further government supervision.

And yet, despite the refugees' assurances of self-sufficiency and self-government, America still faces a crisis as the government will need a significant budget increase to vet, feed, and otherwise accommodate hundreds of thousands of Muslim refugees.

Thus, the U.S. legislators will now have to choose: they either cut the vetting process and save the money - or, if they are so concerned about the security of their constituents and want a full vetting process, they must also support new taxes on the rich and give the federal government extra power to control the population.

In the end, bringing in the Syrian refugees is a win-win for the progressive agenda all the way around. We must support Dear Leader Barack Obama in his noble effort to fundamentally transform this country through immigration.



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He has a point. I don't recall being scared of widows and orphans before, but I am now. I must have gotten really soft and panicky. Probably not enough shoveling.

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Kilroy wrote:He has a point. I don't recall being scared of widows and orphans before, but I am now. I must have gotten really soft and panicky. Probably not enough shoveling.

Little orphan Annie is very scary. Have you ever seen her?

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Hammer and Loupe wrote:Little orphan Annie is very scary. Have you ever seen her?
Raggedy Ann too. Pardon me, I'll be shoveling in my safe space.



 
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