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Fisted Tea Party Granny Tells Why She Shows Up!

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I, Pamalinsky, Cube reporter, have an exclusive here. I went to some Tea Parties this weekend and here's what I found! This grandmother told me "from the heart" about her granddaughter, and even gave me pictures! She said, "My granddaughter appeared on this earth knowing she had the whole world in her hands! Just look at the unspeakable joy in her face! Sweet! As all children are!"
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"She grew up to be a lovely woman, with dreams and kindness in her heart."

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"Now, she has this awful defiant look on her face. She asks things like "WTF are you doin' to my country, you Mofo's! How dare you!"

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She tells me, and I quote, "I'm lookin' at this freak who can't even see what he has in his hands. I used to see that easily! And, he's the one in charge!!!" My baby is scared, Pamalinsky. And pissed off. I don't like the changes I see in my granddaughter. That's why I'm here at the DC Tea Party. To protect my granddaughter's future. And her kids, too!

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I only wish I could let her know about Jifi-Lobo™, but the constraints of my "journalistic ethics" won't let me.

Yeah, this is the corny stuff we have to deal with Comrades. But we must prevail!

Pamalinsky, reporting in for the Cube!

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Pamalinsky wrote:I, Pamalinsky, . . . I only wish I could let her know about Jifi-Lobo™, but the constraints of my journalistic ethics won't let me.
Yeah, this is the corny stuff we have to deal with Comrades. But we must prevail!
I, Pamalinsky, reporting in for the Cube!

I'm stuttered with most shock. "journalistic ethics"?! Ghastly. Might I suggest that you, our dearest Comradess Pamalinsky, return to Jiffy-Lobo for a checkup and filter change mind alternation? To even suggest that Progs are bound to any 'journalistic ethics',is most appalling. Progs are not bound by any such foolish restrains in their personhood. We must "progress beyond ™ " these common restraints . . . that IS progressiveness.
It is our bound duty to intervene. You should have slapped granny upside the head and told her to get her mind straight! The Ob ™ is here, in all his great Leaderness, to Help the Collective ™. He has already provided Oboma Healthcare for all! (you do know those Death Panel were a nasty rumor, right?).
These lowly proles must have our intervention. After all, they are too "stupid" (to quote glorious Rahm and more glorious Nanski P) to know what is good for them. We must demandpoint the way. If WE don't intereven, these proles will rely on thinking for themselves and then, where would they be?!
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May the Ob ™ bless your journey to Collective Thought.

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Is that a REAL Newspeak cover?

I don't think it's legit. I mean, we all know The Blackberry President isn't Quitting the Thug Life.

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Yes, comrade Olga, https://newsbusters.org/blogs/tim-graha ... alists-now.

You dare equate dear Leader with "thug life"? Perhaps you should take a relaxing weekend tuneup @ Jiffy-Lobo? It is most refreshing! (and regardless of what you have heard, electric shock therapy is most fun)

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Tsk Tsk Tsk... Pamalinsky. You have to missed great opportunity to explain to near-dementia granny why she engaging inKorrekt though-crimes.

When she to say, "My granddaughter appeared on this earth knowing she had the whole world in her hands!" you were to say back, "Dear Leader Obowmao is only world she in needing of and his O'liness now has her in his hands. Is that not of relief to you, you silly old womans?'

When she to say, "She grew up to be a lovely woman, with dreams and kindness in her heart," you to say that only korrekt dreams are Hope and Change and fundamental transformation of Amerikkka should to be in her heart.

When she to say, "Now, she has this awful defiant look on her face. She asks things like "WTF are you doin' to my country, you Mofo's! How dare you!" you to tell her all teenager go through rebellion time and that she must start to read the works of Alinsky, Engels and our most favorite Karl Marx to set her on korrekt path.

And for whatever granny might be to say you should to do as Fraulein Pulloskies to tell you, slap that silly old womans upside head.

Never never NEVER let crisis go to waste and certainly your granny was showing she in conservative capitalist crisis mode.

Pamalinky, you have not been to listen to Rahmbo or the great BO. You have not to learn one thing from Rachel Madcow or Tingles Matthews. And you to call youself Cube reporter.... pfffft. You must stop to be afraid of being too cute. You must to begin to get a little bit of the ugly so to have strength to combat capitalist pigs. Re-education camp for you, little pretty.

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Oh! My most dearest of dear Comradess Czarweary! (or may I call you Mrs. Al?) You have spoken of most beautifully and korectly to our poor, fallen Comradess, Pamalinsky, who I am afeard, needs urgent and immediate 'vacation' to Jiffy-Lobo.
As Prog Report for Cube, she is most definitely "pffffted", is she not. I find this most disconcerting, disparaging and dis-shameful. It is in by-laws to 'slap up the head' of any and all unProgs and backward thinkings conservatives (spit spit) types.
Pamie, you are now consigned to watch Keith Olblubbermann . . .Oblaherman . . Olbermann . . whoever, until you find your mind becoming numb, eye (or eyes, as is appropriate) glazed over and retch coming into stomach (this should not take more than 3.5 min. or less, so never to worry about missing Desperate Housewives of New York). We will expect a FULL REPORT from said "reporter". If this accomplished in time winning manner, we shall not report you to dearest Red Square. (GASP!) Please note, no popcorn or alcohol allowed while watching Olberblaster!)

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Yes, comrade Olga, https://newsbusters.org/blogs/tim-graha ... alists-now.

You dare equate dear Leader with "thug life"? Perhaps you should take a relaxing weekend tuneup @ Jiffy-Lobo? It is most refreshing! (and regardless of what you have heard, electric shock therapy is most fun)

Nonsense, we progressives have nothing against thuggery.

Except when Rethuglikans do it.

Image That pitiful excuse for a magazine has sunk to a new low. I didn't think it was possible.

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Komsomolka Olga Katrina wrote: ... Nonsense, we progressives have nothing against thuggery.

Except when Rethuglikans do it.

Oh, but of course, with that most glorious qualification! (I must consider giving up some of the medicinal vodka) We are most proud of Rahm 'the finger' Emanuel, after all. Prog Thugs are the Good Thugs ™. I don't know what we'd do without the SEIU, ACLU, Black Panthers, Jessie Jackasson, Al Sharptongue, the Democrat Partyand dear Leader Himself!

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Mrs Al Czarweary, You are, of course, korrect. I forgot to insert the quotation marks around "journalistic ethics". How silly of me. Each point you made is an improvement on my post. I left out those "facts" you mentioned, well, because that's how us "journalists" do it these days. It can be quite confusing. Thank you for taking your most precious time pointing these things out. I know I have a "problem" about being ugly. Comrades keep telling me that. One day I may surprise you, and you will be begging me to turn back to my "cute" ways. I can be quite nasty.

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Komsomolka Olga Katrina, Ha! You think Newsweek is bad. Check out the latest cover of Time! Saw it at the grocery store yesterday. It's barely a 16th of an inch deep now. Thin! Way thin! Couldn't happen to a more deserving mag rag. In fact, most of these rags are thinning fast! It was some absurd cover touting the magnificent "recovery". Can't find the link. Sorry. They all are pretty much the same. Amazing.

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Dearest comrade Pamalinsky, it is such a relief to see you see that we see saw the err of your ways and will no long way err in that way. Welcome back and how was Jiffy-Lobo?

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Pamalinsky, when you to start growing the hairs on chin then you can to be nasty. That is privilige of elder womens age. The being of nasty is what I am meaning, not the hairs on chin. The hairs on chin just to mean you must to use the razor for more body parts.

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Being nasty is most prevalent of women of most age groups, at least, that is how it is in the gulag... but then, the gulag can bring out the nasties in most all it's prisoners vacationers. Pamalinsky is just feeling bran oats after all stint away from Cubers! She needs a cup or 3 of vodka, the people's answer to all ills. Either that or some delicious poison mushrooms, as the late Mr. P enjoyed! They always do a body good.

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Fraulein Pulloskies and Mrs Al Czarweary! You understand everything!

By the way, Fraulein...You can't tell me that avatar of yours is 80 x 80, and 6k, per Cubepliance™. How come my avatar has to be smaller? Is it because you are now of the "Party Elite"? I notice Leninka, preceeding you by years, keeps her avatar in major Cubepliance! Just wondering...Your friggin' avatar is huge!

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I DENOUNCE THAT UNCUBISH CUBEPLIANCE REMARK! I am of course, bound by cubepliance as all other equal comrades and comradess are! I hoped to upload my entire humble photo and sleek silhouette, but it was not allowed. I thought, perhaps, do to my well endowments?, but it must have been for the great good - cubepliance 80 x 80 (although not so sure why such restricts? It is not my place to question 'why?" but to simply follow government mandates!)

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote: I hoped to upload my entire humble photo and sleek silhouette, but it was not allowed.

Quite so Fraulein, the best part of your avatar is below the fold.

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ah yes, dearest Comrade Whoopie, you speak truthfully (is that allowed??) and sound much like dear late Mr. Pulloskies. His love of well endowments was well known by entire village . . . city and states. (and another reason for his early passing.)

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Fraulein Pulloskies, it is looking to me like you have to once more be of changing of your avatar image. The red is very beety but it is to appear as if you to have no clothes! Is the being of nakedness a refreshing change with coming of warming weather? Or are you of emulation of Dear Leader Emporer's new clothes?

As of each way, you are to looking like sexy and my new house boy, Misha, is of approving. He to say he glad to be of helping with you in beet field.
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Dearest Comradess Mrs. Al, I have much gratitude for you pointing out my apparent undressedness, but it is an optical illusionment. I must give deep thought to appearance as I do not wish to cause earthquakes or lust male eyes peepedness.

Misha. O M G I feel a wee faintedness coming on . . . but please send dear comrade over. I'm sure his assistance will be of HUGE value.


 
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