An epidemic of obscene hand gestures has spread through kindergartens and elementary schools, forcing State School Administrators not only to take leaves-of-absence due to Post-Traumatic stress associated with watching State Collective Broadcasting news of school violence and then being exposed to gun gestures by pre-pubescent children, but also requiring administrative punishment of students for disregarding the feelings of their Administrators.
The International Socialist Teachers Union, representing all USSA teachers, is demanding more aggressive suppression of violent gestures by students.
Several students have been removed from schools through the USSA, and more are likely to be denounced for this outrageous crime against our loyal and heroic School Administrators.
While teachers are generally tolerant of obscene hand gestures, making a hand gesture in the shape of a handgun is simply unacceptable. Such a gesture can cause a teacher to think she is under immediate threat of handgun violence, which is the Number One cause of death amongst teachers (after overdoses of psychotropic medications).
The Union has appealed to the Department of Collective Education‘s Directorate for Affronting Behavior Prevention to develop a national curriculum component dealing with gun-shaped hand gestures. It is likely that the curriculum will be integrated into not only the Universal Pacification and Disarmament Plan of the Party, but also will be included in the Affordable Healthcare Act as a category for mandatory treatment.
In the meantime, the Department of Collective Education has promised to document these incidents in the offending children’s permanent records. At a later date, they may be included in a new law proposed by Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama called ‘Maria’s Law’ after Maria Waltherr-Willard, a teacher fired due to her fear of children. Under Maria’s Law, children guilty of scaring their teachers will not only be incarcerated, but will have to register with their local State Security apparatuses upon release from juvenile reeducation facilities and have their photos posted on the internet so that school administrators can identify and avoid them.
Stop violence in schools!
Protect innocent teachers from hand gesture violence!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
He is doing that thing with his fingers again! NEA against school finger violence.
Too bad it's not loaded, huh?
You can thank me later.
We will have to appropriate the necessary funds to fully train all of our loyal
I recall as yesterday a mother's mortification of her two moderate carbon footprinted sons making such hand gestures at each other. Of course the highly embarrassed and flush progressive mother made repeated exclamations that they would never have learned such violent ideation in her household. What confused her was that she regimented the exposure of these children to environmental stimuli to promote their proper indoctrination.