Apparently the guy in the center of the second row didn't get the "uniform of the day" memo.

ONE! Singular Dictator!
With ev'ry little step he takes!

Ivan Betinov wrote:Apparently the guy in the center of the second row didn't get the "uniform of the day" memo.

And the guy on the far left must have his red-striped pants in the wash. At least they've all got the medals polished!- SK

Didn't the Irish invent Riverdance so they could dance without spilling their drinks? In North Korea that's also a big concern: if you spill your month's ration, that's it - you have to wait a whole month for the next ration.

Red Square wrote:Didn't the Irish invent Riverdance so they could dance without spilling their drinks? In North Korea that's also a big concern: if you spill your month's ration, that's it - you have to wait a whole month for the next ration.

Komrade Red, I think it's because you can drink and dance at the same time. You don't use your arms at all, so you could have a drink in one hand and a sandwich in the other. Burn off the drink and the sandwich while you're eating them, save a little bit of time, ya know?

Comrades,

Perhaps they should be moving their arms and hands instead to meet Dear Leader's production quotas !

And where do these " sandwiches " come from ? The Black Market ? They certainly don't come from The People's Republic, that's for sure.....

A fish- head on a bowl of rice has always been the food of the liberated masses !

Krasnodar wrote:Comrades,

Perhaps they should be moving their arms and hands instead to meet Dear Leader's production quotas !
[highlight=#ffff00]
And where do these " sandwiches " come from ? The Black Market ? They certainly don't come from The People's Republic, that's for sure.....[/highlight]

A fish- head on a bowl of rice has always been the food of the liberated masses !

We, the computer-equipped Kommissariat, get all the sandwiches we want. Clearly you're newly-promoted or an intruder. And you're lucky, before I got promoted all we got was either the fish head or rice. And sometimes the fish head was actually frogs or slugs moulded to look like a fish head.

C.S. : Your having an old state- sponsored pocket calculator does not warrant your claim of the Kommissariat being "computer-equipped ". And of course those who are workers there eat sandwiches...... they just liberate the Red Cross food shipments for themselves and keep serving fish heads and rice to those not as equal. Amazingly efficient method of distribution !

Also, I am quite aware of when the Kommissariat staff served up portions of Dear Leader's uncle
( well... the parts the dogs wouldn't eat ) and referred to him as " pork ".

Krasnodar wrote:C.S. : Your having an old state- sponsored pocket calculator does not warrant your claim of the Kommissariat being "computer-equipped ". And of course those who are workers there eat sandwiches...... they just liberate the Red Cross food shipments for themselves and keep serving fish heads and rice to those not as equal. Amazingly efficient method of distribution !

Also, I am quite aware of when the Kommissariat staff served up portions of Dear Leader's uncle
( well... the parts the dogs wouldn't eat ) and referred to him as " pork ".

Well, by sandwiches what I really meant was the daily ration served in-between two chucks of dug-up grass with worms squirming about in it. But it was a sandwich to us.

I'm actually part of a new test to see if the common people are ready for computers. I didn't sign up for it either, one day a package just arrived on my doorstep and the letter told me all about the program. Their only stipulation was that you had to register your computer with the Local Party and KGB outpost, and that they both have the right to check it at anytime. But they have to get an order directly from Premier Red in order to do that.

They don't provide the internet service, either, I had to get a KXK-TC95 Telecoms License and set up a satellite dish in order to get into the national internet satellite. The local Party loves it, I give them full internet access with 24/7 support and they give me a few books of ration stamps and a case of vodka every month in exchange. They say it's legal, and who am I to question the Party? They mainly check their email and fax things that would've usually been mailed, but every once in a while I've noticed they transfer big databases to Moscow. I asked them what they are, and while they told me what they are, I've been specifically instructed to not tell anyone else what they are.

Congratulations to Comrade Kim for beating his previous voter turnout record of 100% by 19%! Here's to 138% voter turnout in the next people's democratic election!

[img]/images/various_uploads/Kim_Jong_100_300.png[/img]

.

I hear Comrade Hillary has added Dear Leader Kim's election strategist to her team. I'm going to have a hard time waiting for the " show election " to finally arrive...... been waiting for it since Hillary went on a weekend trip with Party officials in 2008 and then abruptly dropped out the running while being tied with Obama for the nomination.

I'm quite sure she had no instructions or motive to do this, but rather did so because of the goodness of her heart and a desire to see that America would have it's first black president.




Yep..... that must be it.

.
between Riverdancing, nukular fist-shaking and canine entertainment in family circle, Dear Leader also performs his fill of Great Leaders Liga Public Shovelling For The Common Good :

Note his distinctive shovelling style, as opposed to :

Comrades,

Notice "PRK" Dear Leader's cute little shovel and the thoughtful - though confused - expression on his chubby face? Note the slack jaw. He is thinking, "Should we add this dirt-stuff to The People's Soup stock?" See how his doughy, sausage-like fingers clasp the wooden handle of the shovel as though for the first - and surely the last time. A true leader.

Now have a look at "USSA" Dear Leader's style. See his clenched jaw, the expression of great mental effort, intense thought, focused concentration. Note the limp right wrist. Check the heavy duty cowhide gloves - as if he's prepared to single handedly excavate the lost city of Atlantis. Surely, a master at work.

Then there's Adolf - what is he trying to hide?

How could a common working slob learn the complex art of shoveling without these instructive demonstrations periodically offered by our glorious leaders? One can only wonder...

CC

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrades,

Notice "PRK" Dear Leader's cute little shovel and the thoughtful - though confused - expression on his chubby face? Note ... slack jaw ... thinking ... doughy, sausage-like fingers clasp the wooden handle of the shovel as though for the first ... time ... true leader.

Now have a look at "USSA" Dear Leader's style ... clenched jaw ... great mental effort, intense thought, focused concentration ... the limp right wrist ... the heavy duty cowhide gloves ... a master at work.

Then there's Adolf ... a common working slob ... learn the complex art of shoveling without these instructive demonstrations periodically offered by our glorious leaders? One can only wonder...

Indeed, a perfect and exhaustive iconographic analysis of the visual artefacts in question.

Had you, sharp-minded Craptek, interspersed it with a couple of Mighty Words ("subconscious iconological archetypes", "Lacanian-Derridean thanatology of The Shovel", "shovel-referencing morphemes and glyphs, imprimis triglyphs", "Führer's Tyrolean digging iconoclasms", "tertium non datur self-referentiality", "Horkheimer-Panofsky paradigms, as matricized by Kracauer"), your critical essay would no doubt earn you an Art Historian Ph.D. in (say) Categorical Mythoi and Epigrammata within Comparative Shovel-Diggitivity as opposed to Hegelian Dialectics.

As for that single remaining open question about the supernatural achievements of Der Führer in shovelling, without being instructed by luminaries of the format of Asian Dear Leader and our Messianic World Leader, the answer is remarkably simple : vee Dshermans, vee haf dsat "shovel, shovel, good shovel" in dse bloot.

(ok, Der Führer wasn't exactly Dsherman, he was Austrian ; yet as he came close to becoming the German Kanzler, an Einbürgerungsschnellverfahren - awkward, but legally correct procedure - made him a German citizen, and that's it.)