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THE APOCALYPSE COMES TODAY

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Al_Gore_Doomsday_Countdown_Rush.jpg
Ten years ago today, the world's premier climate scientist, Al Gore, predicted that we only had ten years to save the planet.

He did everything he could. As Vice President, he ensured that the only "scientists" to get funding were those that agreed with his views. I was one of them.

Which is how we got the "consensus:" After Dr. Bill Gray (Colorado State University) was destroyed in 1992 for refusing to produce "science" that agreed with Mr. Gore's views, word got around the rest of the climatology community really quickly that if you wanted funding for your research, you had better produce the results that the Vice President wants. Unfortunately, after they retire and no longer need funding to make their living, lots and lots of climatologists suddenly become skeptics. Which is why we still need the Gulag.

Here is a link to a Denier website (probably funded by the Evil KKKoch Brothers) where they try to convince all of us to keep dancing on the deck of the Titanic as it goes down:

State of the Climate: 10 years after Al Gore declared a ‘planetary emergency'

Ah well, none of that matters now. We will all be dead by tomorrow.

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Actually, Comrade Mikhail Lysenkomann,

This weekend we here in Indiana will enjoy temps in the low 50's. Yeah! Global warming! We like it!

Rush has posted this thing for ten years that says we a done, done, done climate wise. I'm sure you've seen it.

https://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2006 ... arth_cooks

Tomorrow's the big day!

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Mom always said wear clean underwear because you never know when the end of the world will come, and you don't want the people who collect up the bodies to find you in filthy undies. I think there was an element of deception in all of that.

Although I suppose I need a set of clean underpants.

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I need a set of clean underpants.

Comrade Ivan,

Here's an old trick from my days growing up poor on an Iowa farm:

The cement-mixer attachment for the tractors makes a great washing machine.

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Mom always said wear clean underwear because you never know when the end of the world will come, and you don't want the people who collect up the bodies to find you in filthy undies. I think there was an element of deception in all of that.

Although I suppose I need a set of clean underpants.

I don't know about you but, when I die, the last thing I'll wonder about will be the condition of my underwear. I've got enough problems as it is. And that includes my underwear, it's so expensive now!

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Pamalinsky wrote:Rush has posted this thing for ten years that says we a done, done, done climate wise. I'm sure you've seen it.

https://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2006 ... arth_cooks

Tomorrow's the big day!
Actually, Pamalinsky, Pope AlGore The First said it on 25 January 2006. So yesterday was the end of the grace period, and today is when the Earth violently splits in two, or reaches oven temperature, or something.

We snuck into Limbaugh's organization and changed the date on his website to lull his Reich-Wing followers into a false sense of security! They will all die with dirty underwear!

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Oh, I forgot to mention:

Be sure to return all those library books and movie rentals.

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Oh, I forgot to mention:

Be sure to return all those library books and movie rentals.


Very funny, Mikhail! Tee, hee, hee!

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Apocalypse now? Forget filing a tax return. And I might head over to my local university campus to commit some serious microagressions. Library books? Movie rentals? Just try prying them from my global-warmed (or is it climate changed?) dead fingers.

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I'm told the same applies to rapture, as Revelation 3:11 cautions us:

Rapture_Underwear_Smell.jpg

Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:Apocalypse now?

The horror ... the horror!

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I stopped wearing underwear as a political protest of the cancellation of the Apollo program. I refuse to wear any until we break ground on a permanent moon base. With rocket ships and ray guns.

I am thus safe in the event of an apocalypse in the dirty drawers department.

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OK, comrades, so the planet is set to disintegrate before the stroke of midnight. Fine. I knew this all along. But no one seems to know the answer to the most important question of all: WILL THE GOVERNMENT STILL BE OPEN AND FULLY FUNDED?

Ivan Betinov wrote:I stopped wearing underwear as a political protest of the cancellation of the Apollo program.


Ehhhh ... you kids don't know how good you have it. In my day, all we had was Republikkan presidents, 90-plus percent literacy, Americans standing on the moon, daily supersonic flights across the Atlantic, and 454 cubic inch automobile engines.

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Comrades, we have now passed the Tipping Point. There is no saving Mother Gaia. But we CAN ease our burden and prolong our inevitable doom for a few precious months with these common sense measures:

1) Reduce the Carbon Footprint of all Deniers to zero. This includes anyone with the audacity to say "I don't know," or "I haven't thought about it," or "We need to look at the costs.."

2) End capitalism immediately. This can be easily accomplished by using existing arsenals of nuclear missals to blanket the planet in a coordinated EMP that will wipe out electronic systems world-wide.

3) Herd all white cis males into concentration camps. The rest of us don't need to hear them endlessly whining about how everyone is going to suffer "equally" from the end of life on earth, or how it's "everyone's fault" when we know damn well it's their fault and theirs alone.

4) Begin construction on a monument to our Dear Leader in Washington DC, comparable to those of the racist, slave-owning "founding fathers." We don't have time to wait for this inevitable edifice. If thousands of years from now an alien race should discover the ruins of our dead civilization, we don't want them to suppose that we were not in process of overcoming racism when the End came.

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Red is Tribute wrote:If thousands of years from now an alien race should discover the ruins of our dead civilization, we don't want them to suppose that we were not in process of overcoming racism when the End came.
The same "clean underwear effect," this time on the kollektive level.

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Will minorities, women and children be the hardest hit? Screw it. Just put in the flask and hammer, close the lid and lets get this over with.

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Mom always said wear clean underwear because you never know when the end of the world will come, and you don't want the people who collect up the bodies to find you in filthy undies. ...
How does one get on the body clean up detail after the apocalypse? Sounds slightly more inviting than bodily destruction. Is there a sign up sheet or must one negotiate a roster slot with a local commissar?

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Clean underwear? ... no problem. Turn them inside out for another months usage.

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Comrades,
Myself and our local progressive believers await for this apocalypse or ™Progressive Rapture

As one can see in the picture below..
we have taken the proper progressive stance and
are fully prepared to receive even more progressive wisdom




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Just imagine how silly the racist and xenophobic right wingers will look
when the end comes and they have not made peace with global cooling, global warming, Climate Change..

Sad thing,,,, when the apocalypse happens,,,, will any of us be around and able to gloat?
cruel irony, indeed!

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ShrodingersHamster wrote: How does one get on the body clean up detail after the apocalypse?

And that, New Comrade, is precisely why the STATE should raise The Children ™ instead of their lying parents.

Grab a shovel, get to work. We have a qouta to meet, and I warn you against association with other rodents on this forum...trouble--that's what they are.

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The world ended at midnight and I missed it. I slept through it because they won't allow me to take the day off just because the world ended and I have to get up at zero dark thirty. I miss everything...

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Mallard_AlGore_World_End.jpg
In other news, the world didn't end yesterday … according to some crazy haters and Al Gore deniers.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:OK, comrades, so the planet is set to disintegrate before the stroke of midnight. Fine. I knew this all along. But no one seems to know the answer to the most important question of all: WILL THE GOVERNMENT STILL BE OPEN AND FULLY FUNDED?

Why, of course they will remain open! And, fully funded! That's how our Gubmint rolls!
Thanks for bringing this to our easily distracted attention.

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No, the world did end yesterday. It's just that congressional Rethuglicans are censoring the information.

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Yeah, GSG,

I heard Ornette Coleman play just this sort of thing at the Village Gate way back when. I agree with Sun Ra, somewhat. Even Ornette. Also admire John Coltrane immensely, especially his A Love Supreme.

Howsomever, as I post this I would also like to post a foil for it. Opposition research, if you will.

It is just a simple plea for something kinder and prudent.



There is a hook in there and it makes you rise in your chair somewhat. Just a suggestion.

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Pamalinsky wrote:Actually, Comrade Mikhail Lysenkomann,

This weekend we here in Indiana will enjoy temps in the low 50's. Yeah! Global warming! We like it!

Rush has posted this thing for ten years that says we a done, done, done climate wise. I'm sure you've seen it.

https://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2006 ... arth_cooks

Tomorrow's the big day!

Watch:


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Pamalinsky wrote:Yeah, GSG,

I heard Ornette Coleman play just this sort of thing at the Village Gate way back when. I agree with Sun Ra, somewhat. Even Ornette. Also admire John Coltrane immensely, especially his A Love Supreme.

Howsomever, as I post this I would also like to post a foil for it. Opposition research, if you will.

It is just a simple plea for something kinder and prudent.



There is a hook in there and it makes you rise in your chair somewhat. Just a suggestion.
Well Pamalinsky, two can play at this game. I'll see your prudent Beatles and roll you some Stones.

One of the times I saw Ornette was at a free concert in Detroit. People began leaving as soon as he began to play. After about 45 minutes of what I thought was great music but a slow stream of others walking out, my date asked how long he was going to play. My answer, "Until everyone is gone."
I could bore you (and the Cube) with my "How I Came to Enjoy Sun Ra" story, but the main event was - the first time I saw the Arkestra, back in the olden days, the music got me stoned.

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Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote:Yeah, GSG,

I heard Ornette Coleman play just this sort of thing at the Village Gate way back when. I agree with Sun Ra, somewhat. Even Ornette. Also admire John Coltrane immensely, especially his A Love Supreme.

Howsomever, as I post this I would also like to post a foil for it. Opposition research, if you will.

It is just a simple plea for something kinder and prudent.



There is a hook in there and it makes you rise in your chair somewhat. Just a suggestion.
Well Pamalinsky, two can play at this game. I'll see your prudent Beatles and roll you some Stones.

One of the times I saw Ornette was at a free concert in Detroit. People began leaving as soon as he began to play. After about 45 minutes of what I thought was great music but a slow stream of others walking out, my date asked how long he was going to play. My answer, "Until everyone is gone."
I could bore you (and the Cube) with my "How I Came to Enjoy Sun Ra" story, but the main event was - the first time I saw the Arkestra, back in the olden days, the music got me stoned.

You're not boring me, GSG, not at all. One thing for sure is, Sun Ra could really deck himself out! A beautiful thing to see.

I feel so ... unfulfilled. Unraptured, as it were.

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Pamalinsky wrote:
Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote:Yeah, GSG,

I heard Ornette Coleman play just this sort of thing at the Village Gate way back when. I agree with Sun Ra, somewhat. Even Ornette. Also admire John Coltrane immensely, especially his A Love Supreme.

Howsomever, as I post this I would also like to post a foil for it. Opposition research, if you will.

It is just a simple plea for something kinder and prudent.



There is a hook in there and it makes you rise in your chair somewhat. Just a suggestion.
Well Pamalinsky, two can play at this game. I'll see your prudent Beatles and roll you some Stones.

One of the times I saw Ornette was at a free concert in Detroit. People began leaving as soon as he began to play. After about 45 minutes of what I thought was great music but a slow stream of others walking out, my date asked how long he was going to play. My answer, "Until everyone is gone."
I could bore you (and the Cube) with my "How I Came to Enjoy Sun Ra" story, but the main event was - the first time I saw the Arkestra, back in the olden days, the music got me stoned.

You're not boring me, GSG, not at all. One thing for sure is, Sun Ra could really deck himself out! A beautiful thing to see.

[OFF]

Who's this "Sun Ra"? As far as I know Ra is the name of the Egyptian sun deity, and all that keeps coming up is a black guy named Herman who makes jazz music. Terribly sorry if I'm overlooking anything.

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Pamalinksy,
Sun Ra always dressed at the height of Saturnian fashion.
Comrade Stierlitz,
I'm not sure I have the story entirely straight, but as I recall: Sun Ra was sent to Earth as a baby by his father just before his home planet, Saturn, exploded. His rocket was found by a kindly old farmer and his wife outside of Hooterville. They raised him as their own, but worried about his alien status, they gave him the secret identity of Herman Blount. As an adult he moved to the big city to be a reporter. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you dig those ca-razy sounds), he missed that left turn at Albuquerque, ended up in the wrong big city, and became a band leader with his Arkestra.
This is the short version, and like I said, I might be a tiny bit off (but not much) over some of the details.


 
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