Premier Betty wrote:Wow, that was fast. I wonder what's next....

Can I have his TV?

Premier Betty, our gratitude is as genuine as your grief. Mousey lived in an agrarian collective in the ways of Che and Trotsky (before the Russkie developed a taste for hookers). Mousey-Tongue was a cat of the people, he had no TV or worldly possessions to speak of. Except for his compound, of course.

I believe Foo-Yung has a valid point. Would the untimely demise of Mousey-Tongue not be deserving of a full state ceremony presided over by no less than Chairman Meow himself?

Can I have his compound then?

I am devastated and heartbroken by what has apparently befallen Mousey-Tongue.

I want him memorialized. I want a Velvet Mousey-Tongue to hang over my fireplace.

And I want Elton John to retool one of his old songs to sing at Mousey-Tongue's funeral. It could be the biggest selling CD of all time. Perhaps a rewrite of "Honky Cat"?

Get back, Comrade Cat,
Better get back to the Cube,
Where our Red Square rules
With The People's tools,
And the--oh oh oh oh oh
Hope! And Change for the Greater Good!

Oh, where is the Empress during this dreadful, grievous time, when The People are in so much pain?

I don't think that earthquake was an accident. I think it was part of a conspiracy by the Bush Administration to kill Mousey-Tongue because he was in love with a Muslim. A Persian cat, to be precise. She too was lost in the rubble, but I heard from her owner's best friend's sister-in-law's hairdresser that she was carrying Mousey-Tongue's kittens, and was only 2 hours along. And Bush murdered those kitties!

I want inquest after inquest on Mousey-Tongue's demise, until a jury comes up with the verdict I want--that none other than George W. Bush is behind all of this. Everyone knows he's nothing but a racist and a Nazi.

Commissarka, do not fret too badly. As the civilized world knows, the cat is the most duplicitous of all fur bearing animals. Not that I do not trust the Party Organs. rather not wishing to expend the People's resources on such an investigation, I chose to enlist the aid of my dear old friend Sherlock Pup to investigate this alleged tragedy. He did not fail in his mission. What I can tell you is this, either Mousey Tongue was but a cover for this "Skipperdoo," and never existed in the first place, or Comrade MouseyTongue is up to some nefarious scheme for Lenin knows what purpose. I have the evidence if you insist. Just rest assured, there is skullduggery afoot here!


<center><img src="https://people.delphiforums.com/a1sickp ... "></center>

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I am devastated and heartbroken by what has apparently befallen Mousey-Tongue.

I want inquest after inquest on Mousey-Tongue's demise, until a jury comes up with the verdict I want--that none other than George W. Bush is behind all of this. Everyone knows he's nothing but a racist and a Nazi.

Commissarka, I am Dr. Sergei Gno, Chief Clinical Morphologist and Doctor of Genetic Research at the People's Institute of Socialist Sciences. We too question the suspicious circumstances of Mousey-Tongue's demise. Commissar Pupovich is right to question this matter, and to flush out any disinformation or manipulation of the facts. Thereby, while his intenions are noble and aimed at achieving the Greater Good, leaving such matters to an informal social network is not the most effecitve course of action.

Under my authority, the remains of the deceased have been disinterned from their gravesite in China and brought to our laboratory in Novosibirsk for a full autopsy. It is our hope this will shed light on what, or who, caused the death of comrade Mousey-Tongue. A full report will be presented to you both within days.

Rest assured, we will not rest until the culprits behind this are rooted out and severely dealt with. Whoever is responsible for this will pay dearly!

Now, I must retire to my study for an extended working session with my personal assistant, Hilga...

Dr Gno, rest assured, I have the evidence of the skulduggery going on here. I may not know the exact nature of the scheme and who is alive and who is not.... if ever such creature existed in the first place.... but I have the facts on the deception.

Pupovich, I must agree with you wholeheartedly, that something is definitely afoot. In fact, I daresay a great many different body parts besides the foot are at play here. Witness all the current threads about brain surgery and sex organs and lampshades made out of people.

Coincidence? I think not.

Accident? No more than Mousey-Tongue's untimely death.

Soon these threads will start braiding together, and things will become clearer.

Witness also the emergence of strange, new characters at the Cube--like the mysterious Dr. Gno (I see he wears a red necktie), the myopic bunny rabbit Skipperdoo et al--and perhaps most ominously of all, the sudden return and suspicious pervasiveness of the Criminally Insane Vodkov with his never-ending vendetta against Pinkie.

All we need is a good blizzard to snow us in (I read that it snowed in Oslo, Norway today) and a library where we can assemble all these shady characters, so Sherlock Pup can unmask their equally shady shenanigans.

I didn't so it!!!

[scurries away]

Commissarka, thank you for the heads up. You are correct, there has been even more skullduggery introduced into the collective. We have a serious case of that most rare form of neurosis....what previously was known as MPD, but is now DSM IV-R 300.14 Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Buhwahahahaha! None of you Cubists are safe!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Scroll down to the bottom. I've already identified him as the evil mastermind behind the Chinese earthquake and subsequent murder of Comrade Mousey-Tongue for having a relationship with a Muslim, specifically a Persian cat.

And the Empress still has not emerged from her bunker to comfort the grieving masses, for Mousey-Tongue was much-loved by The People.

He was, if I might paraphrase the turncoat Tony Blair, truly The People's Cat.

Commissarka, we at the People's Institute for the Socialist Sciences (PISS) share your pain.

Comrade Mousey was well loved by the people. His uncle, Dr. Teh, was very fond of Mousey, and proud of his accomplishments as a rising Community Leader. He was also, coincidentally, quite the kitten's meow and polled highly with the female demographic in his district.

But I digress...we performed an autopsy on Mousey's remains, and all is not as it would seem. There is disinformation and evil on the paw here, with a trail that may well lead to the Bushitlers. But it is premature to make that claim until we have evidence, or at least a story close enough that we can embrace as the Current Truth.

Here are the results from the autopsy:


On the left is an enlargement of the deceased cat's left rear leg. Obviously, there is a sophisticated metal implant, the result of reconstructive surgery to repair major trauma to the leg. The model of the appliance indicates this surgery was performed at least five years ago.

On the right, an x-ray of Mousey-Tongue's left rear leg, after it was broken and healed in a mishap with a rickshaw while on a fact-finidng mission among the cathouses of Kunming in 2007.

Obviously, the remains buried as Mousey-Tongue are another cat. We ran a DNA analysis and traced them to a Kunming gang ringleader who went missing six months ago, 'Sloppy Joe' Hung-How:


Hung-How's disappearance was taken by authorities to merely be infighting among the cat gangs that have moved into the province over the past ten years. Ironically, Mousey-Tongue was the Community Leader who drove the gangs from the streets and restored peace and order to the community. And Hung-How's latest scam was selling fake carbon credits to upscale proles suffering from envio-guilt in Hong Kong.

To have swapped bodies means the perpetrator of this hoax has access at the highest levels. And where is comrade Mousey-Tongue?

What's going on, why are our members disappearing?!?

It's a conspiracy!! The VRWC is coming!!! Repent! Repent!!!

Fear not Premier.... it is not so much members disappearing than the natural characteristic of this particular disease. Just keep in mind Commissarka's observations regarding the statistics here, and Sherlock Pup's findings.....It should become clear for you you. In the meantime, it may be best just to go along with their fantasies.

Oh, my Lenin!

DR. GNO!

The switching out of Mousey-Tongue's remains with those of another cat compel me to ask you, sir: Would you be the same mad scientist--or at least, do you play golf with the same mad scientist--who cloned Drago and then re-engineered him into some Kong-like monster who even now is climbing up the side of the skyscraper where I'm currently perched on the ledge for peace, so he can grab me and carry me off to an even taller building for some nefarious purpose?

Don't you see? He's been re-engineered by Halliburton! (Somewhere in a Houston laboratory lies a mad scientist, his spectacles askew while a bent up giant re-engineerator sizzles and sparks nearby.) It's part of a plot to suppress our movement against the Bush regime by disrupting and ending our perch-in on the ledge!

Look at the Re-engineered Drago as he runs amuck down the streets, picking up every woman he sees in a red headscarf, only to toss her aside when he realizes she's not "The One." I'M THE ONE HE WANTS! And if he climbs up this building where I'm perched on the ledge, and gets me--well, I hope you comrades have plenty of institutional-sized jugs of extra strength chloroform handy! (If not, you can buy them at Sam's Club or Costco.)

PUPOVICH: Do you not see? The braid is almost complete, and everything is rapidly coming together!

One thing I believe I can answer fully, I do not believe there is a Drago-Clone Drago connection here, that appears to have been a separate coincidental conspiracy.

Or maybe there's a conspiracy inside a conspiracy that's really a conspiracy to cover up the real conspiracy.

You may be on something Premier.... please let me know what it is so I can avoid it.

Don't worry, it might take a while for me to think it through. Even with the medicated Hot pockets....

I have been sleeping with Dr. Gno's wife now for six years. I thought I would share that little tid-bit with the collective.

Does he know about this? Do you have any other secret affairs with relatives/appliances of us that you would like to share?

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I have been sleeping with Dr. Gno's wife now for six years. I thought I would share that little tid-bit with the collective.

You do mean the one that goes by Gno or one of the others?

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I have been sleeping with Dr. Gno's wife now for six years. I thought I would share that little tid-bit with the collective.

Chairman, do you mean to say after six years, you want to share Dr. Gno's little tid-bit of a wife with the Collective?

I do believe I'll pass. I'd rather sleep with--with . . . Someone tell me--who am I supposed to be in love with right now?

Pupovich, check my notebook. On the first page I should've written my name over and over, preceded by Mrs. and succeeded by the last name of the current love of my life. "Mrs. Pinkie . . . WHO?"

Mrs. Pinkie ?
Mrs. Pinkie ?
Mrs. Pinkie ?

I NEED A NAME!

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I have been sleeping with Dr. Gno's wife now for six years. I thought I would share that little tid-bit with the collective.

You and many others, Chairman. Some better, some worse. I can help you with the antibiotics, if you 'Gno' what I mean...

Uh, oh... bad news for Meow....

Premier Betty wrote:Uh, oh... bad news for Meow....

...and his toaster-cozy.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:[Someone tell me--who am I supposed to be in love with right now?

Pupovich, check my notebook. On the first page I should've written my name over and over, preceded by Mrs. and succeeded by the last name of the current love of my life. "Mrs. Pinkie . . . WHO?"

Mrs. Pinkie ?
Mrs. Pinkie ?
Mrs. Pinkie ?

I NEED A NAME!

Hmm...

Mrs. Pinkie-ROVE (marry the criminal and then murder him on the honeymoon)
Mrs. Pinkie-BUSH (nah, besides the associations are distracting)
Mrs. Pinkie-WINKIE (a cute widdle prole of a homeboy to pick up your laundry)
Mrs. Pinkie-TONGUE? (well, your colors match well)

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: I do believe I'll pass. I'd rather sleep with Kommissar Vodkov. Someone tell me--who am I supposed to be in love with right now? I'm hoping you say "Vodkov." He's sooo sexy! And smart!

Pupovich, check my notebook. On the first page I should've written my name over and over, preceded by Mrs. and succeeded by the last name of the current love of my life: "Vodkov."

I can't say I'm surprised hearing about your obsession with me Commissarka. After all, I am the best looking and most charismatic man in the Party elite.

Vodkov, do you perchance work for NBC's editing department?

I know a mad doctor and a mad monk who are in SO-OO much trouble now! I think when the time comes for us to jump off the ledge for peace, you two will be the first ones pushed to make the leap!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Vodkov, do you perchance work for NBC's editing department?

I work for The People™ and the Party™. The truth is what we (and particularly Kommissar Vodkov) want it to be. You should know that Commissarka.

Mrs. Pinkie ?

How about Mrs. Pinkie Hope 'N Change?

Then again, I can see Mrs. Pinkie Kalishnakov! Yes, I think you and he make a great pair, one with a world class assault weapon strapped on his shoulder, and you with a world class shovel! Can I be Best Commissar?

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I have been sleeping with Dr. Gno's wife now for six years. I thought I would share that little tid-bit with the collective.

I just hope you do not... er...start coughing up fur balls.

A hint is as good as a denunciation to a Party Elite.

Commissar Pupovich wrote:[...] I can see Mrs. Pinkie Kalishnakov! Yes, I think you and he make a great pair, one with a world class assault weapon strapped on his shoulder, and you with a world class shovel![...]

While I, of course, am honored, I'm afraid I am already married to the Party. Perhaps if we can get the polygamy laws in this repressed country repealed...

You and I are both married to the Party comrade Kalishnikov! But I am sure that we can find some bylaw that will allow this is the Kommissarka is agreeable.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

Yes, but since Pinkie needs a last name, perhaps the Party will see it clear to provide one with a big gun.

How about Demon for a last name? It fits her first name:

http://doom.wikia.com/wiki/Demon_(Doom_3)

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For your information, Comrades, I intend to keep my own name, and ergo my own identity--which is the Progressive way, notwithstanding The Party owns everything about me anyway.

I am merely looking for the name of my current love, for I can't remember who it's supposed to be this month, as I've had ever so many.

Is a red shirt still required?

The red shirt was never required; in fact that's the only thing I don't want red, because red shirted men tend to have short life spans:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirt_%28character%29

They also tend to snort coke and perform sex acts on Obama, as seen on various You Tube videos scattered throughout the Cube.

Then that is so much the better, Comrade Kalshnakov can be your love and still remain, as I, faithfully married to the Party.

You know, this topic has made me think of something. What is the Party's view on jealousy? I don't personally have any issues with anything we are discussing, for I believe everything ultimately belongs to the Party, so anything I have is only what I need, but it just made me think of it and wondered what the official stance is on the subject.

Let me know if I need to clarify that question a bit - that came out a bit clumsily.

Jealousy is good. We use it to our advantage.

Proles are jealous of what others have, so we promise that if they help us bring about a commie revolution, then they will have more than the people they are jealous of. That's why so many people want communism. They want what others have, and the simplest and easiest way for that to happen is to put everyone under a socialist government where everyone is given the same stuff. Little do they know that the stuff they think they will be getting is second rate, or won't be given to them at all.

Victory for all!

Well one could say that we will all have the same, quality goods provided by the state. However, we "responsible workers," having greater responsibilities than the proles, or lower Party memebers, will naturally need more Party resources to er... do our job.

Ok... So where the hell is Mousey-Tounge? Or... should I let Comrade Smersh and KGB Section 9 uncover the answer to that question?

--
ZB

Have you not seen the posts where the Cat mysteriously shows up again? Send SMERSH to me, I may have some interesting facts for him to see in regard to the cat's alleged "death,"

No! I have not seen them! So where was the little furball? Smuggling more catnip into the bunker?

--
ZB

Just between you and me....he was not absent at all. No, the cat was, shall we say, causing a population explosion in the Party ranks for Lenin knows what nefarious reasons.

Pupovich! Look what I have found for you on CurrentTruthThroughSex.org on the page called Political Inbreeding.


If I am not mistaken, that page features the entire staff, including the cleaning ladies, of the Pup's Party Pleasure Palace, and the motto on their professional uniforms is also a job requirement.

That is truly an exceptional site Comrade Cube, one you rarely see. Truth be told, the ladies we provide for our more equal customers are actually almost entirely republican women that have either been compromised one way or the other by the KGB, or those who get their thrills by catering to us, not to mention the cash. For lets face it, the enemy women as a rule are generally easier on the eye and nose than democratic women. Not that I mean any disrespect, since lets face it, democrat women don't have the time that those republican women have to take baths every day, go to high price hair stylists, spas, etc. No, progressive women use that time and energy to bring the troops home, save the earth from global warming, work toward electing the Obama etc. So of course they have a beauty (and odor) all their own....but you know as well as I, that us more equals need more comforts than others, and so I provide the best possible since in the end, it's For the Common Good™ that we more equals are as refreshed and renewed as much as possible.

More about that progressive site you'll find on this KG3 thread: https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=2069

More current truth about dogs:

The Dreaded Cute Puppy Dog of Blasphemy

LGF wrote:Now causing seething in British Islamic communities: Trainee police puppy Rebel.

The British police should have known better than to take such an obviously blasphemous photograph, sure to offend and enrage members of the Religion of Peace™. What were they thinking?

A postcard featuring a cute puppy sitting in a policeman's hat advertising a Scottish police force's new telephone number has sparked outrage from Muslims.

As a canine extraordinaire, I have no choice but to denounce these otherwise correct Scottish Muslims. As we all know, Scottish Muslim clans have been a major percentage of the noble Scottish people for many centuries now, and it is disturbing that the other Scottish clans would risk alienating them with such a picture. There were the Mohamactavich, MacAbduls. the BinLogans just to name a few.

The Party deems necessary to revive this thread in view of the recently uncovered findings concerning the current truth about cats.

KITLERS!
(catsthatlooklikehitler.com)

Red Square wrote:The Party deems necessary to revive this thread in view of the recently uncovered findings concerning the current truth about cats.

KITLERS!
(catsthatlooklikehitler.com)

Fortunatley, our dear missing comrade mousey looked nothing like Nonperson Adolf.
Alas, poor mousey! Who loved ya, baby?!

General MouseyTongue's silence in response to this speaks volumes.....

Kitlers, hmmm, very suspicious comrades, very suspicious... has Comrade General Mousey Tongue been dipping into the chocolate kitler milk?

Red Square wrote:The Party deems necessary to revive this thread in view of the recently uncovered findings concerning the current truth about cats.

KITLERS!
(catsthatlooklikehitler.com)

Glorious Leader, clearly the vodka cabinet has been open lately. Your species-ism is most disappointing, expecially from such a progressive leader as yourself. Yo mama shoulda taught yo betta.

You say 'cats that look like Hitler' like that is a bad thing...

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:

Commissar Pupovich wrote:A dog's got to do what a dog's got to do,

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Comrade Infidel, my point exactly. One species is clearly more progressive and eco-friendly than the other.

While dogs hump their owners legs and sniff every light pole and fire hydrant in existence, we cats quietly advance the collective:

Indeed, while dogs are busy sniffing butts and peeing on state provided means of extinguishing fires, cats are busy resting after a hard day's noble work for The Greater Good(TM). Why just think of all the countless things that goes through a cat's mind. Plus cats generally keep mice, republicans and other vermin down. And did I mention how cute, and pleasant they are to have around, compared to a dog?

Comrades,

The above video posted by Comrade Infidel Castrate and the following comments are just more tell tale signs of a cats true bourgeois nature. The cat is a born thoughtcriminal who naturally succumbs to kapitalist decadence!

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:

Could it be anymore obvious?

Red Rooster,

I've obtained some more disturbing proof about cats and their true capitalistic pig nature.

Red Rooster wrote:Comrades,

The above video posted by Comrade Infidel Castrate and the following comments are just more tell tale signs of a cats true bourgeois nature. The cat is a born thoughtcriminal who naturally succumbs to kapitalist decadence!

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:

Could it be anymore obvious?

As a Rooster, I thought you'd appreciate the Dandy look. (Banderas got nuttin on me)

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Red Rooster,

I've obtained some more disturbing proof about cats and their true capitalistic pig nature.

I wonder what lame excuse Mousy and his kitty co-horts will use to try and explain this.

What excuse? Our kits were rehearsing for another rousing rendition of the play 1984.
Aren't they cute?

Comrade Snoogie, Excellent investigative work! It's plain to see you have them running for The Hill.

Comrade Reiuxcat, Why has the collective not yet received tickets for this play? They are free peoples tickets, right?

There will be a special showing for the Commissars and Commissarkas.

However, the lead actors keep running off to Venezuela to visit our amigo Chavez. The world wide premier of our simple play has been postponed indefinately.

Now if you'll excuse me, Zelaya has been pestering me to set up a meeting with his O'liness.

Reiuxcat wrote:

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Red Rooster,

I've obtained some more disturbing proof about cats and their true capitalistic pig nature.

I wonder what lame excuse Mousy and his kitty co-horts will use to try and explain this.

What excuse? Our kits were rehearsing for another rousing rendition of the play 1984.
Aren't they cute?

Comrade Reiuxcat,

Okay I'm going to buy your excuse only because I can see this kitten really hamming it up on the stage. By the way Banderas really doesn't have anything on you, mighty spiffy duds you were sporting there earlier Comrade!

Red Rooster

Pssst........I think the kitty faction is plotting against both of us again, I found a dead mouse in front of my door this morning, it was laying on top of a KFC coupon for three piece meal deal.

The Party generally didn't approve of cats before, mainly because it was always impossible to enforce discipline and assemble them together on time in one room for a Party meeting.

But look how they have all gathered on this thread, as if it has been sprayed with catnip. The Party doesn't approve of catnip either, as an unnecessary bourgeois distraction and opiate of the feline masses. But it seems that a word about the possibility to denounce a dog, a canine comrade, will do the same trick.

The next time we need a general Party meeting we'll have to announce the public hanging of the effigy of Pupovich and all the cats will be there to watch, cheer, and exchange snide remarks. But not before we pass collection plate for the Party contributions.

The problem with time is that it is so subjective. I propose we get everyone onto People's Time(TM). Like People's Math(TM) People's Time(TM) is subject to the needs, desires and whims of The Party(TM).

In fact, simply because I can, and I have just conveniently created a Revolutionary Time Keeping and Latrine Cleaning battalion, I will now declare myself Time Czar.

You may recognize some of the comrades posting here in this troubling video. Very troubling.

Very troubling indeed!

MeowoooooaaaaaaAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! MeowoooaaaaAAAArrrrrr!

PECK!!!

I tried to tell General Tongue to stick with the uniform. Tuxedos only lead to trouble!