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The Girl Scouts of America: Planned Parenthood Issue

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Following Nancy Pelosi's endorsement, Planned Parenthood has completed its long-overdue merger with the Girl Scouts organization, which conservative critics have characterized as "hostile takeover." Below is the cover of the first joint issue of The American Girl magazine - featuring a photo of Speaker Pelosi teaching girls how to handle a scalpel - and sporting the following titles:

• Be Prepared with Thin-Mint-flavored chewable birth control pills!
• Who's NOT planning to be a parent at twelve?
• ABORTION: We do it for the children
• Whether you are an aborter or an abortee - we support diversity!
• Girl Scout Scalpel: Do a Good Turn Daily!

This issue is free* with a purchase of Thank U Berry Munch condoms, courtesy of the U.S. Federal Government (Department of Education, Department of Health and Human Services, Food and Drug Administration, National Endowment for the Arts, and Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms).

* Sponsored by Tagalongs Peanut Butter Flavored Condoms.

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From the article: "Rep. Pelosi was featured at the reception with a group of female government leaders to promote the Girl Scout's new initiative “To Get Her There,” which seeks to create “gender balanced leadership” in one generation."
I find this article biased and discriminatory! The statement "To Get Her There" obviously refers to getting her to the closest abortion clinic. Well what about the girls who are not pregnant?? They should be able to have abortions too!! Let's not just have abortions for pregnant girls but available to all girls. I want the government work on making a rubber baby fetus that the girls who aren't pregnant can insert into themselves so they can go to the clinic and have an abortion too!! The rubber fetuses can come in various sizes and the girls can use large ones so they can also experience partial live birth abortions as well! We could have the Girl Scouts sell these door to door to make money and indoctrinate future generations. Remember:

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P.R., Why do you hate men so badly? I've heard about enough of your male-bashing feminist ways. In a truly equal world (like the one we will have Next Tuesday), such attention and funding will not be limited to one gender. Dammit, I deserve choices too! Why should I be punished if she gets pregg-oid? EQUALITY FOR ALL!

(now if you'll excuse me, I must finish the laundry, and I have a batch of brownies about ready for the timer to go off...)

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@Tovarichi: Remember we seek: “gender balanced leadership.” The cookies we sell will be just a front to get our foot in the door to push the rubber fetus. Please feel free to buy one and insert it as you will so that you too can experience an abortion.**

** Warning: Repeatedly inserting Rubber Fetus in your rear can lead to severe constipation, possible exploratory laparotomy and loss of sphincter tone. (Just ask Reggie Love) The Girl Scouts of Amerika makes no guarantees in regards to outcomes of abortions performed......


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Come on, Comrades, I know you've already seen this, but doesn't this prove once and for all, that Nanski and Obama got a thing goin' on? Same goes for the Pope, who just LOVES Nanski! Hmmm?


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Does this mean no more thin mint cookies? I would rather not have to eat contraceptive pills to satisfy my craving for crunchy-minty goodness.

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I bought some of those "Samoas" today while grocery shopping, rhymes with Somemores, chocolate, graham cracker thingys with marshmallows that you roast on a campfire just like marshmallows on a stick. Can't eat just one! I confess, I'm just a sucker for Girl Scout Cookies! They're good! No two "ways" about it! This is what gives them their "edge." Go GSA!

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Like Condoms in Public schools, if the government wants you to have them, the government will provide...

THIN MINTS for all my friends! I'll hold the peanut-butter sandwiches for redistribution myself. (someone has to do it)

Send the bill to "Obama's Stash", 1600 Pensylvania Ave, Washington D.C. (ATTN: Revenue collected from Millionaires, Billionaires, and corportate jet owners, just in time for redistrubution prior to the election Department.)

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We have to remove the name and emotions that "girls" engenders. New names like "Long Haired Persons Collective",Scouts looking for _____", or some other non gender term. Suggestions?

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How's about: "Scouts looking for MORE!" Simple, and to the point! Seems pretty non-gender to me.

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Girl Scouts = Survivors of Planned Parenthood Procedures, (XX chromosome configuration) cookie redistribution club


Buncha walmart stalkers...

M84
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Tovarichi wrote:Girl Scouts = Survivors of Planned Parenthood Procedures, (XX chromosome configuration) cookie redistribution club

Image Irony win for the day

Image This is a most glorious idea! Baking the contraceptives into COOKIES will for SURE get those theocratic rethuglikkkans behind distributing them! No child will be too young for contraceptives! We can feed the hungry AND keep them from the horror of breeding a rethugliKKKan by accident!

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Komrads. Since the state schools, led by the state supported teachers unions, are already promoting non-gender specific sexual activity and providing contraceptives as well, starting at the first grade level, it is only right that Dear Leader and Nanski demand the unification of the PPGSA into the state run school system. As Education Kommissar, I feel it is necessary to ensure that we indoctrinate teach all state owned sponsored children identically to provide equal outcome. Taking a point about the abortion doll, we could include this as a mandatory part of school curriculum. Of course any objecting parents will find a change of attitude at our gulags Adult Remedial Education Centers ™ .

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Tovarichi wrote:Girl Scouts = Survivors of Planned Parenthood Procedures, (XX chromosome configuration) cookie redistribution club


Buncha walmart stalkers...
Good one, Tovi, in fact, perfect!



 
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