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The People's choice: 2012 Republican Presidential nominee

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Today Comrades, I come before you to begin work on our Party's nominee for the 2012 REPUBLICAN Presidential candidate. Some of you may ask, has Commissar M gone mad? Has the combination of quadruple vodka rations, serious anti-depressants and constant low dose radiation from the People's Uranium Mine and Re-education Facility finally rotted out my brain? Possibly so but in that altered state, I offer The Party and the members of this Glorious Collective this humble suggestion.

Things are not looking good for our Glorious, Beloved Leader, Chairman uh, President 0Bama. His poll numbers are in the toilet, although, as we know, this is only relevant when discussing Republican candidates or office holders. This was not entirely unexpected however, as not every American is intelligent and Progressive enough to willingly accept the World Of Next Tuesday and sadly, those people still get to vote until we can find a way to legally liquidate them. We have managed to convince our core of useful idiots in the Democrat Party that 0bama is actually a right-of-center moderate who cares for America and its people. In fact, many Progressives are annoyed with him right now because is too moderate and hasn't done enough in just two years to really turn America into the model Marxist Utopia we know it can be.

Admittedly, this is what we in the Party get for having to intrust a vapid, linguini-spine automaton with the task of leading us into the World Of Next Tuesday. We did all agree that it was better to have someone who was blank slate, all style over substance and easy to control because "this is America".

Still, without our dupes friends in the media to run interference and the dumbshits uh, reliable establishment in the Republican Party to foist John McCain on their voters, we might have had trouble. And we WILL have trouble in 2012 unless we act now to halt a Mondale-esque ass-beating at the polls. Therefore Comrades, members of this great Collective, we must "help" the establishment Republicans choose the "best" nominee. Best for us, that is! "Best" in the sense of Ford, Dole or McCain. Better still, the kind of guy who would make any those guys seem like brilliant choices by comparison. We must assemble a list of Republicans so vile and repulsive to their own voters that even the "threat" of at least four more years of 0bama won't bring them to the polls in November 2012. We must work to convince the leading voices of the inner Republican party that any one of these worthless ninnies is "acceptable" and even "electable". We must avoid at all cost allowing the Tea Party radicals and other actual conservatives to choose the nominee, least we end up with another disaster like Reagan.

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Sarah Pain is perfect,

She already elicits a visceral hatred in progs like we haven't seen, ever.

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Let me begin this effort by suggesting someone who will have the Tea Party and Beck/Limbaugh/Palin crowd going absolutely batshit insane. An established Republican politician with considerable personal resources and national exposure who could become a real contender. Yet, a man who is such a mushy liberal with a demonstrated propensity towards statism, that Conservatives will simply stay home on election day 2012. You could practically consider every dollar spent on his campaign as a dollar spent to re-elected our Beloved 0ne. I submit to you Comrades, my first consideration for the Republican Presidential nominee in 2012, Michael Bloomberg:
Michael_Bloomberg_2012.jpg

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Commisar M,

We have one of our own running ahead in the polls in IL. His name is Mark Kirk; Rethuglikan, who seems to be the quintessential establishment candidate making McLame, look McTame. Unfortunately, some of our finest establisment clowns candidates have been ousted by Tea Baggers. Such as Lisa 'Murky' Murkowski and Mike Castle.

But fear not: the Establishment is always working tirelessly recruiting and bringing forth luminaires to boldy take us to the glorious promise of Next Tuesday™.

Rest assured that here in The Peoples Republik of Illinoiz we are supporting our RINO best choice.

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I have the perfect candidate for the Rethuglikkans... An Unknown Governor From Georgia!

Experienced
Sonny_Perdue.JPG

Randomly Flatulent
Perdue-0068.jpg

Shovel Ready
sonnyperdueshovelready-2.jpg

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All good choices so far, Comrades! May I submit yet another bit of simple agitprop that'll have the Tea Baggers wetting their pants and tasting a bit of vomit in their mouths?


Bloomberg Graham 2012 v.2.jpg

And yes, that would be "good Conservative" South Carolina Senator, Lindsey Graham. I smell a loser winner already!

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Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Bloombutt would be the first on my... Ahrrmmmm.... our list.... right behind Johnson McCain. However Newt Grinch, or any other other old time party member of The Grand Old Party would do just fine.

Any of these fools we could railroad with our white male shtick, and yelling yellena hillbilly redneck platitudes. We have a whole bunch of worth with so many re-educated and guilty proles. The soft underbelly is exposed and I, Ahrrrrmmmm... we suggest we stick the sword in the wound while we can.

Sarah Palin must die!!! She is far to in touch with the redneck unwashed masses of Amerikkka! She says shit like it is, and we can't have that dammit!

Yes We Can!!!!

Hail Obama!

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Comrades... Many of the recommendations carry excess baggage.....

Draft Sonny and we will be assured of a thousand year Reich fantastic continuation of the benevolent dictatorship rule of glorious leader as Sonny is the alter ego of Comrade Carter.

Sonny is the perfect red Herring straw man opposition candidate for our luscious master of the New World of Next Tuesday™ to joist. He has no baggage because he does not travel. A veritable pig in a poke. He can't spell Palin. He reads instructions on the Peoples Toilet Paper. He could not win a sprint against a legless mutant squid. Give him a chance.

He is somewhat endorsed by https://georgiaheritagecouncil.org

secret-chamber-man1.jpg

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Comrades!

The perfect choice for us to promote as the ideal Republican candidate is of
course.............JEB BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Image I just had a hate bushgasm just thinking of this, just a second while I get a kleenex....errr....that's better.

I mean think of the hatred we can re-envoke to remove all the focus of our complete and total failures as leaders and government policy makers away from us by getting those rethuglikkkans to nominate JEB.

Draft JEB now!

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Excellent Commodore Snoogie Woogums! I see your sailing the high waters as usual.
Image Hail Obama!

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Comrade Commodore, Jeb is an excellent suggestion! A dynastic, big government technocrat who really believes he's a Conservative. The name alone will terrify the "mushy middle" dolts who voted for Obama but are now having second thoughts. It sends the far right into apoplexy; they can't deride him as a liberal but they can't embrace him as a true conservative. A Republican who believes in the power of big government as a force for good, while claiming to embrace conservative principles will put the tea baggers in a tailspin for sure.

I am concerned about how we place our "people" in his camp. One of the best parts of McCain's defeat was watching as people within his own campaign organization kneecapped him and especially Palin. I suspect that Jeb might run a tighter ship and be more wary of political insiders with extensive ties to the Loyal Media.

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Comrades and proles, I have the answer. Colin Powell. Who else would be the perfect Rethuglican? He is black and that should be enough said. We know the bigoted Rethulicans would never vote for a coloredblack man, do we not?!! Oh, I wreak with laugher, I am so filled with smarts! This will make sure, dearest fearless is reelected (if we can just dump Biden the big mouthed buffoon (NO OFFENSE TO COMRADE BUFFOON!)

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Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Comrades and proles, I have the answer. Colin Powell. Who else would be the perfect Rethuglican? He is black and that should be enough said. We know the bigoted Rethulicans would never vote for a coloredblack man, do we not?!! Oh, I wreak with laugher, I am so filled with smarts! This will make sure, dearest fearless is reelected (if we can just dump Biden the big mouthed buffoon (NO OFFENSE TO COMRADE BUFFOON!)
Fraulein, You would deny general P the comraderie of this lovable buffoon? Image

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Today Comrades, one of the dissidents who has an "artistic flair" was ordered at gun point asked to assist us in this worthy project. With inspiration from Commodore Snoogie Woogums, the offer of an extra potato ration and box of non-toxic colored pens, our artist was able to turn out some more potential campaign signs.
Jeb 2012 desperate.jpg

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Commissar M

We might have a little problem with Jeb, it seems he hasn't really thrown his hat into the ring so we must be careful in our manipulations and prodding to get him to run. Rumor has it that he is actually pretty smart and might catch on to the fact that our intentions aren't exactly.........hummmm......above board....... in our enthusiastic support to get him to run in 2012.
I suggest a more subtle approach in the campaign signs, though yours is an excellent choice as those ignorant rethuglikkkan teabaggers don't have the mental capacity to understand that they are actually being mocked with the slogan, but Jeb would understand it and might defeat our goal of getting him to run.

I suggest we try flattery, a nice picture of him and something along the lines like this.

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DynamicRepublicanTrio.jpg

A pair and a spare. Susan, Arlen and Olympia

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Great Stalin! I feel like going bowling. Of course I won't be Bowling Alone™, there is always a comrade in the collective community who will help me hold up my ball. Ahhhrrrrmmmm.... a little re-education for the proles:

<a href=" Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community</a><img src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=the ... 0743203046" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" />

Because it only takes one ball to be a Made Progressive like me, that's just how we progs roll. Globes of Fury™ and all that Yelling Yellena/Rage Boy nonsense....

Hail Obama!

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Comrades,

It is my belief that the right-wing will give up all hope once the "full fruition" of Papa Obama's policies, in the words of Rev. Wright, " come home to roost".


Once it is obvious to all that the success of Papa Obama can no longer be denied, the Right-wing will just nominate whoever is on the Democratic ticket.

Just like Soviet elections, where one had one candidate , the US election will be the same.

Glorious is our new future- Rejoice all!


 
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