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The People's Tank

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Comrades, I have just obtained a new vehicle from mother Russia and wanted to show it off. Behold the T-90 tank!

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It is the perfect vehicle from which to fight capitalist oppression. For example, when I drove by an evil Walmart store the other day, all I had to do was turn the turret and push a button and BAM! the vile capitalist building was blown to smithereens. But the cannon also has other uses. For example, traffic jams are a thing of the past with it. Just push the button and destroy all those pesky cars that are blocking your way. You no longer have to worry about wrecks, either because the weak cars just harmlessly impact on the T-90's powerful Russian armor. That means you can run red lights and speed all you want to, with no risk of scratching the paint.

Now you may ask me "But Comrade, what about Global Warming and the environment?". Well, that's simple. Just replace "SUV" in this strip with "tank" and you have the solution.

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I love my new ride.

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The Self-Stimulus Bill as originally written by the Party demanded that we "buy American" until Comrade Obama folded like a house of cards when the Europeans protested applied his great judgement and decided to deliberate further on the matter. But along those lines, I would've gone for an M1 Abrams with the turbine engine. Just sayin'.

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Opiate of the People wrote:The Self-Stimulus Bill as originally written by the Party demanded that we "buy American" until Comrade Obama folded like a house of cards when the Europeans protested applied his great judgement and decided to deliberate further on the matter. But along those lines, I would've gone for an M1 Abrams with the turbine engine. Just sayin'.

I buy Russian so as to support Comrade Putin in his quest for world domination.

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Joe, don't worry about Global Warming. Global Warming is for the little people. The Party Elect doesn't care. In fact, just to show my power, I don't even have front doors on the Rancho de Rio Grande. I admit that I haven't replaced them from the time that Our Many Titted Empress got very drunk indeed and fell <i>through</i> them, but still, I don't worry about cooling the outside.

Especially since I've tapped into a power substation and the power company doesn't know about it.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Joe, don't worry about Global Warming. Global Warming is for the little people. The Party Elect doesn't care. In fact, just to show my power, I don't even have front doors on the Rancho de Rio Grande. I admit that I haven't replaced them from the time that Our Many Titted Empress got very drunk indeed and fell <i>through</i> them, but still, I don't worry about cooling the outside.

This is true, Comrade. I forgot. Still, I enjoy ramming cars with my tank.

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Oh, yes, I do not deny that. In fact I have on your suggestion put one on order. I drive an Acura RL and Texas is full of Exhibitions, Excursions, Suburbans, Tahoes, and Hummers, not to mention F-350s and other panzers, and they simply do not bother with lesser vehicles. They judge all driving by their own, looking at you coming, waiting, their minds slowed by the size of their vehicles, and then pull out in front of you so you have to slow down or pass.

When you pass, they gradually speed up, pass you, and then immediately slow down to turn in front of you and you have to slow down <i>again</i>.

I want a tank. Do you know of a book on reloading the ammunition?


 
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