I'm sure all the Made Progressives here have heard that Barack Hussein Obama has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. We can rejoice, comrades. One of us has been awarded the most prestigious prize on earth. For talking.

You know how I love Barry O. There is nothing that I love more than looking at the soles of his shoes as he floats overhead. I adore how he makes love to the camera. And I get regular notes from his TelePrompTer about how wonderful it is to feed him his lines. (Although the TelePrompter and Nanski Peloski are about to get into it. Sometimes His O'liness says things because her hand's up his ass which the TelePrompTer thinks are off-message. Get ready for a palace coup.)

But still, you know how I love Barry. I, being a good Made Prog, have never done anything at all, except talk, sneer, and tell people how mistreated I am. Oh, and steal things but that's just workaday for a Made Progressive. Until I became a member of the collective people said, "Theocritus, quit being such a sniveling little bitch," but ever since I came here I found a haven with other like-minded Made Progressives who are also whining, sniveling little bitches, er, noble community organizers, and who have never done anything except talk.

Because talk is the coinage of the Progressive. If we got awards on results, it would like Richard Simmons getting Father of the Year.

And now, the leader of us all, Barack Hussein Obama, has been awarded the most prestigious prize on earth for just talking.

My only worry is that now that the Nobel Peace prize has been given to Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and His O'liness, what will we do to recognize real achievement? Publisher's Clearinghouse?

Indeed, esteemed Commissar, talk is the Coin of the Realm for progs. I remember fondly as a kitten in Mao's re-education kennels, making all of my progressive mewlings for the delight of our educators and community organizers. It propelled me to the front of the pack, earned me my own kitty dish while others were fighting for food, and stood me well as I betrayed each and every one of my classmates to the Gulag. What heady days they were!

While I served under Mao (not in the usual sense of course) as his favorite animal pet for many years, I had to prove myself as a General in the field of combat following his most premature demise. So I cannot claim to be a Made Prog, but rather a Mad Prog. Weeks clanging around in a T-37 tank, helmet too tight, air vents too small, crew hasn't bathed in a week, you get the picture. And the sound of the gun. I can still hear it in my ringing ears. Three out of four of the currently active voices in my head agree, it was a most difficult time to make sense of it all.

Following my retirement from active service, and electro-shock therapy, and a healing time in the cathouses of Kunming, I have come to serve the Party as a semi-retired veteran on the pubic dole, with a cushy administrative title testing seafood and looking in now and then on the security of our Motherland. Not a bad gig for the cat voted "Most likely to cough up a furball on Mao's Little Red Book' as a kitten, no?

But now we have the O, and Nansky, and glorious Next Tuesday to look forward to!

Commissar Theocritus wrote: And now, the leader of us all, Barack Hussein Obama, has been awarded the most prestigious prize on earth for just talking.

My only worry is that now that the Nobel Peace prize has been given to Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and His O'liness, what will we do to recognize real achievement? Publisher's Clearinghouse?

Perhaps lottery winnings are the only true achievement left. The Nobel could be a throw-in incentive for buying Sham-Wow. "But wait! You'll also receive a Nobel Peace Prize...NOW how much would you pay? But wait! Order now and you'll also recieve a bound volume of Obama's address to the United Nations! All for $29.95!"

Now wait a minute. I bought a Sham-Wow and didn't get a Nobel Peace Prize. I did get a nifty clock. And promptly executed the salesperson for distributing time without a license.

General, as a favor of posterity, please do save those fur balls that you've been coughing up. You are an estimable member of the polity and your fur balls have the potential to become holy relics.

"Here is the fur ball that General Mousey-Tongue coughed up on September 12, 2009, while watching the Nazis in the Washington Mall."

They could rival the fingers of St. Francis of Assisi.

And after all, in this most equal of places, who is to say that your fur ball is not the equal of the wondrous tomes of His O'liness?

And you made them yourself.

The "award" is an insult to these people....

As a bonus, let's consider who the Nobel Committee considered less worthy than Barack Hussein Obama to receive to Nobel Peace Prize:


* Chinese Human Rights Activist Hu Jia - imprisoned for campaigning for human rights in the PRC, not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama.
* Wei Jingsheng, who spent 17 years in Chinese prisons for urging reforms of China's communist system. -- not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama. (Not to mention the symbolic value of awarding a Chinese dissident on the 20th Anniversary of the Tianenmen Square Massacre.)
* Greg Mortenson, founder of the Central Asia Institute has built nearly 80 schools, especially for girls, in remote areas of northern Pakistan and Afghanistan over the past 15 years - not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama.
* Prince Ghazi bin Muhammad, a philosophy professor in Jordan who risks his life by advocating interfaith dialogue between Jews and Muslims, also not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama.
* Afghan human rights activist Sima Samar. She currently leads the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission and serves as the U.N. special envoy to Darfur and is apparently also not as worthy as Barack Hussein Obama.

http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/200 ... ma_wi.html

Opiate, you don't get the picture. The Nobel committee didn't give a damn about who ought to get it. They wanted to diss George W. Bush. Human rights be damned.

And anything bad about the Bu$hitler is fine by me. After all, isn't he the stupidest man on earth? Why he's so stupid that he could say things without a TelePrompTer.

Now, if only they could get the evil Bu$hitler on a list of mass murderers and torturers.

Oh, that's right, Dear and Righteous Attorney General Eric Holder is working on it by prosecuting those evil CIA operatives who had the audacity to tickle most honorable Freedom Fighters during illegal interrogations.

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:Perhaps lottery winnings are the only true achievement left. The Nobel could be a throw-in incentive for buying Sham-Wow. "But wait! You'll also receive a Nobel Peace Prize...NOW how much would you pay? But wait! Order now and you'll also recieve a bound volume of Obama's address to the United Nations! All for $29.95!"

Yes yes Comrades, The Nobel Peace Prize it not what is used to be. But what I believe you are missing this is a bourgeois prize. I believe that "Pinkie's" esteemed "Beet of the week" Award is much more prestigious.

Kind and Generous Leader:

I believe a new award is merited. We can call it the (Super Comrade Unit Merit) award, S.C.U.M. for short. It would be presented in a bag as we would not want to hurt any feelings, or make other comrades feel "Inferior"

Imagine, the thrill of being addressed as a "Scum bag" Award recipient.



Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality ä INC

Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight

Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter

Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Here's a heart-warming storyI like:

Barack Obama Wins Cy Young Award

Major League Baseball made a major announcement today. Barack Obama's spectacular first pitch at July's St. Louis Cardinals game has earned him this year's Cy Young Award. The President said that he was humbled by the honor.

The President said he is going to proudly display the Cy Young between the Tony Award he received for “Best Applauding by an Audience Member” while attending “The Little Mermaid” on Broadway and his Oscar for “Best DVD Rental Choice By A World Leader” for his Netflix selection of “Seven Pounds” featuring Will Smith.

The president also commented he was excited for the upcoming Grammy Awards. “I really like my chances this year”! I have some great stuff on my Ipod, bellowed an enthusiastic Barack.

On another note, I think the Nobel Prize committee members have been watching too much Star Trek.

I love Star Trek, but their ideas of peace, war, and compromise are all based on moral equivalency, collectivist ethics, and other fairy-tale values.

I prefer the various Stargate series over Star Trek anymore. Although Star Trek has it's moments.

Red Star, I like your idea of presenting an award in a bag. And even better if, when we open the bag, we find Janeane Gawdawfulo. What could be better for a Made Progressive?

Red Star wrote:
I believe a new award is merited. We can call it the (Super Comrade Unit Merit) award, S.C.U.M. for short. It would be presented in a bag as we would not want to hurt any feelings, or make other comrades feel "Inferior"

Imagine, the thrill of being addressed as a "Scum bag" Award recipient.

This idea is most equal for its overriding uniformity of equality! I can just imagine the broad smiles on the faces of so many Congressfolk as they leave Town Hall meetings and comment proudly to their relatives staffs, "Golly, they called me a "Scum bag" Award recipient." Or how about Keith Olberfuhrer proudly telling Janeane Gawdawfulo in between diatribes about racism, "I'm a "Scum bag" Award recipient." That would be must-see TV! An excellent proposal, Comrade Star (although not really any better than any proposal any other comrade would have made, had they actually made them.)

I think that every comrade who votes more than once ought to get a SCUM award too. Or every comrade who uses ACORN to launder, oh, say child-prostitution money. After all, is there anything SCUMmier than running a child-prostitution ring or laundering the proceeds?