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New Statue to the Revolution Unveiled

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Comrades, you may have seen construction activity in the People's Park across the street from Party headquarters and wondered what was going on. Well now I can let you in on the secret. The Inner Party has commissioned a new statue to commemorate the successful completion of our first five year plan.

It was scheduled to be unveiled on May Day but unforeseen difficulties and shortages resulted in delays. Rest assured that the Director of the People's Foundry has been reassigned.

Red Square statue copy.jpg

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The glorious workers of the world unite and go wild.

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We have a Park? I really need to get out more often.

About time OUR beloved Leader got his own statue.

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Grigori E.R. wrote: About time OUR beloved Leader got his own statue.

I'll let you in on a little secret comrade, the statue is accurate to the smallest detail, if you look close you'll see it even has two left feet.

Glorious!! It brings tears to my eyes to see Comrade Red Square standing in the People's Park. This truly is for the Children™.

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I noticed that the staue is renewable! Close inspection shows that the head is detachable so if when Red Square falls out of the Party's favor Comrade Whoopie the new leader's head can be easily attached to the non-descript body.

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It brings me inspiration even now. To the struggle.

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And we only had to lay off half the police department and shut down two fire stations to afford it.

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Proletarian Robot wrote:I noticed that the staue is renewable! Close inspection shows that the head is detachable so if when Red Square falls out of the Party's favor Comrade Whoopie the new leader's head can be easily attached to the non-descript body.

Careful there Robot, such talk can land you in the gulag. There is but one leader of the Party, the People's Director, Red Square. End of discussion.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:And we only had to lay off half the police department and shut down two fire stations to afford it.
We take comfort in the knowledge it could have been worse.

Red Square's efforts contained the cost of the unemployedto the glorious workers struggle

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Ivan Betinov wrote:And we only had to lay off half the police department and shut down two fire stations to afford it.
The remaining police forces and the firefighters are, of course, busy chasing the talent shitting pigeons away from my glorious visage. The black mustache requires regular repainting too, by the way.

I really like the statue! Even though posing for it took a little longer than expected and I almost peed myself towards the end. You can notice it by the position of my legs. But I'm sure if I hadn't mentioned it you could never tell.

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Sigh. Sometimes I feel as if these statues are lacking in demonstrating how far we have come as political creatures. We are aware, sensitive, and see the world in a way that embraces non-traditional forms of dress, sexuality, or even facial characteristics.

If anything this new statue across the street from Party HQ should capture the beauty in a multi-ethnic transgender woman who has starved herself to avoid the label of being obese or a "consumer". Our multi-ethnic transgender woman -- who is botoxed beyond recognition -- is a single mother, homeless, and discriminated against.

The statue -- forged in gold -- would demonstrate her inner worth as she is displayed pushing a shopping cart full of Marxist pamphlets, empty cans, and soiled baby diapers. Our statue would also display this wild and free womyn clinging desperately to a Starbucks latte with a dildo gloriously extending outward for all to see. In her pockets one can see unemployment checks among the very visible bottles of prescription painkillers and a half opened can of Cesar gourmet dog food. Our womyn doesn't take shit from anyone because she is progressive, therefore a breast, a single breast, will be sagging gently from her misbuttoned trench coat while a fat child suckles (this can both represent the state and our new embrace of public breastfeeding.) Protruding from the nether regions can be scene a coat hanger which will be the solemn reminder of a time that could indeed return if Democrats are not elected.

Comrades, this is a statue that represents our unique brand of socialism. This is a statue that I would be proud to have looking down on me.

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Proletarian Robot wrote:I noticed that the staue is renewable! Close inspection shows that the head is detachable so if when Red Square falls out of the Party's favor Comrade Whoopie the new leader's head can be easily attached to the non-descript body.


Comrades, I am hereby vindicated! All of you have been demanding my ouster ever since that scum Breitbart posted that heavily edited video of me making a speech, in which I said I didn't think Red Square's head was screwed on straight.

Had Breitbart posted the complete 40 minute video of the entire speech, then everyone would know that I was referring to the construction of this statue, of which Whoopie permitted me a sneak preview while he was still putting it together.

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Proletarian Robot wrote:I noticed that the staue is renewable! Close inspection shows that the head is detachable so if when Red Square falls out of the Party's favor Comrade Whoopie the new leader's head can be easily attached to the non-descript body.

Can someone explain this photo from the press release? Proletarian Robot may be on to something here. I suggest we advise Andy Stern (Peace be with him) to send some more union goons Worker's Peace Corps ™ as additional security to The People's Director, Red Square immediately until the Current Truth ™ in this matter is fabricated revealed.


Lenin-001.jpg

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The remaining police forces and the firefighters are, of course, busy chasing the talent shitting pigeons away from my glorious visage. The black mustache requires regular repainting too, by the way.

OO-rrrah! That means we have saved or created 50% of the police and firefighter jobs by laying off the other half to pay for the statue the remainder will be polishing!

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Ohhhh.....how "The People's" pigeons will love spreading their poop wealth on this most wonderful display of our progressive Chairman.
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Notice the destruction to the glorious left of the statue! The dead tree must be the Politburo's way of erasing Trotsky replacing Algore cleansing the scene. Or maybe all dogs have been trained via glorious mind control to pee on the tree instead of Red's left foot....

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woohoo, that is gloriously glorious! Who needs all that waste on police and firemen, when we have something so meaningful to the Collective. The statue is so lifelike that I could always swear it was someone I saw at the Rancho just last week... stoned drunk, he was, turning gray and . . . . well, I think he was drunk. You don't think . . . umm, be right back!


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I have received information from a tattletale whistleblower, courtesy of wikileaks, that the statue of Chairman Red Square has in fact been relocated from another country. According to the tattletale whistleblower, a group of freedom seeking anti-revolucionaries pulled our Dear Leader's statue down and defaced it with an imperialistic flag.....damn savages! Blasphemy! Well, the good news is that the statue was saved before the capitalist pigs could melt it down for profit. Image


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El Presidente, thank you for the informative informative... obviously, that is Bushitler, as anyone can clearly see. Disgraceful. Where are the Dixie Chicks when you need them?!

No, seriously, where are they??

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Shovel 4 U wrote:
Proletarian Robot wrote:I noticed that the staue is renewable! Close inspection shows that the head is detachable so if when Red Square falls out of the Party's favor Comrade Whoopie the new leader's head can be easily attached to the non-descript body.

Can someone explain this photo from the press release? Proletarian Robot may be on to something here. I suggest we advise Andy Stern (Peace be with him) to send some more union goons Worker's Peace Corps ™ as additional security to The People's Director, Red Square immediately until the Current Truth ™ in this matter is fabricated revealed.


Lenin-001.jpg

That head is going to the White House to replace the bust of Winston Churchill that Dear Leader gave back to the Brits. It makes perfect sense to me that he would want the head of Dear Lenin, in order to fulfill his longtime dream of becoming Comrade Leninbama.


 
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