Eighty eight years of the day Trotsky directed the suppression of the anarchist uprising in Krondstadt, a group of bandits scaled the walls of his former house in Mexico City during the late hours at night.
Repost of english translation:
Eighty eight years of the day Trotsky directed the suppression of the anarchist uprising in Krondstadt, a group of bandits scaled the walls of his former house in Mexico City during the late hours at night. We broke the lock on his mausoleum and we expropriate the content inside it: a silver large vase that bears the inscription of his name, wrapped in the red scarf that he carried around the neck, containing the ashes of the corpse inside. We replace with care the lock in the monument with a reproduction that was similar in the appearance and escaped into the night.
The vase along with its content then was taken far away to a place where the vase was discarded and the content (a combination of ash and bone) were baked in cookies. These cookies then were sent, along with a letter that explains our actions, to newspapers, to organizations of Trotskyists, and to the groups of anarchist around the world.
While we will not repeat everything of our full letter, briefly we propose to give new light to the idea that history does not end with the past and still a small group of bandits can give new direction to fights thought long to be frozen in the time. We want to expand the fight to include dead objects of the past that hold hostage us in the present.
Nevertheless, if Trotsky is right about the history, we do not determine anything, but we are only characters whose actions were written in the revolution of October. As was his destiny, coincidentally, to come to be a cookie.
The ones that receive these cookies have a decision. Through time, the act to consume enemies have been seen as a way to absorb their powers. On the other hand, consuming the body and the blood of the dead person as a sacrament have also been a form of worship. We would want to indicate that, at any rate, the result is always shit.
For those a little delicate, we have tried them, and although they be a little sandy, they are delicious. The green dots, by the way, they are just candies.
How soon before the fighters against capitalist profiteering start posting Trotsky Cookies on eBay?
I was so taken with the this act (and having flashbacks to Stranger in a Strange Land), that I felt the need to see if it were, in fact, possible, or if it would ruin a perfectly good cookie recipe to add cremated remains... People don't realize that baking is very much better living through chemistry, and while cookies are not a particularly difficult thing to produce, generally, some recipes must be made just so, with very specific ingredients for them to work. And so I was shocked to find out that these Mexican youths are not the creators of this recipe! There is, in fact, posted on Epicurioustalinist.com, a recipe for "To Die For Chocolate Trotsky Smarties Cookies". Despite my Russian roots, and my familiarity with the cuisine of the region, I have never come across such a recipe among the various foods of my motherland... such traditional things as borscht, okroshka, black rye bread with drippings and pickled herring, caviar - though it is not something I like - kasha, pelmeni, vereniki and pickled vegetables - cucumber, mushrooms, beets and cabbage... kielbasa and dry salami. zharkoye and shashlik... zapekanka... tvorog and syrniki, palachinkas and blini... and well made kulich... but never these biscuits.
Yet, all I have to do is Goolag this recipe and immediately, I find this, which must, according to the article, be my destiny, just as it was Trotsky's destiny to become a cookie:
DROP DEAD TO-DIE-FOR CHOCOLATE-DROP TROTSKY SMARTIES COOKIES (the same recipe can be found under Bronstein Burnt and Bayoneted Bolshevik Bon Bon Biscotti)
These cookies are flavorful and chewy, with a slightly sandy under-texture, and they make a great weekend treat or lunchbox addition. Make these with walnuts or pecans* and decorate with Smarties, or make them without nuts if it is not your child's destiny to have a life-threatening anaphylactic reaction to nuts if they are allergic.
* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* stolen cremated remains of Leon Trotsky**
* 1/2 teaspoon powdered chili pepper flakes***
* 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
* 1 teaspoon baking powder
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 8 ounces unsalted butter (2 sticks), softened
* 1 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
* 2/3 cup granulated sugar
* 2 large eggs
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1 cups finely chopped walnuts or pecans, optional*
* SMARTIES for decoration
Bowl, electric mixer, baking sheets, baking parchment, spatula and measuring cups and spoons, lock-pick, replacement lock, flashlights, ladder, **mortar and pestle (optional)
Sift together the flour, cremated remains, powdered chili flakes, cocoa, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
Cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Beat in vanilla.
On low speed, beat in flour mixture a little at a time, until well blended and smooth. Stir in chopped walnuts.
Drop chocolate cookie dough onto parchment-lined baking sheets by rounded tablespoons, about 2 inches apart.
Press in Smarties to decorate. Bake at 350° for 12 to 15 minutes, or until set.
Cool on pans on rack for about 5 minutes; transfer chocolate cookies to rack to cool completely.
Makes about 4 to 5 dozen chocolate cookies
* leave out nuts if they are an allergy danger, unless it is your child's destiny to have a life-threatening anaphylactic reaction to nuts
**depending on the consistency of the remains, and the potential bone content, the remains may be powdered using a mortar and pestle if one is concerned about the possibility of breaking a tooth, unless the person's destiny is to break a tooth. In the instance of children, take into account whether the will be consumer has lost all their baby teeth or it is their destiny to lose an adult tooth.
*** The Mexican version calls for powdered chilies, presumably in the tradition of such things as Mole Sauce.
Nutrients per cookie: about 85 Calories, 0.5 g Protein, 4.5g Fat, 11 g Carbohydrates, not including fibre, and other minerals and calcium from ashes and bones
I can only add, Grok and Enjoy!
Sister Massively Opiated
... having the munchies...
May I have a cookie now?
I can only add a picture of the tool that prepared Trotsky for the recipe and, perhaps, tenderized him a bit...
And this is a picture of the re-enactment of the historic drama.
One more purely academic question remains to be answered: is eating Trotsky by a member of the opposition political movement considered cannibalism?
But now I will surely have to dig out the camera and provide instructional information and fotos of Kulak Capitalicus, better known at the common Kulak Monster. We have be dealing with an infestation that took hold during the winter, and although their behaviour is of a similar type, their appearance can vary drastically. I will see if the batteries are charged in the camera (unless the little bastards have stolen them, along with my butter and coffee stores and a samovar my grandmother left me that meant a great deal to me... they like shiny things and the little bastards not only pooped in it but dented it) The Rat Thing and I have been making slow but steady progress in expelling and exterminating them since the weather has become warmer, and I have found many small trinkets and critical foodstuffs - which thankfully, they did not foul)... I will send images as soon as possible, but in the mean time, remember than these creatures will often 'play possum' if you happen to catch them unawares and enter a room while they are raiding it, taking on the appearance of a Ushanka... so, check your Ushankas people (I'm sorry Red.... I know this is not the correct way to pluralize Ushanka, but my Russian is rusty). There is nothing worse than having just finished your weekly bath, your tepid water ration coupon gone, only to reach for your warm headgear to find that it is actually a Kulak Monster in disguise and playing dead, especially as when they are frightened, and attempting to escape, they often urinate and defecate uncontrollably.
But enough of Kulak Monsters... we'll have a spate of nightmares in the creche again... back to the matter at hand...
Cannibalism? No! Think of it as supplementing. Now, if he were not cremated and baked into a tasty cookie, that would be another thing. That would be Capitalism.
Sister, your Kulak monsters have managed to find their way below the Red River, it seems. All these years I thought that they were Texas cockroaches, pace Gilbert Shelton when Phineas' mother sends his comic-book collection from Texas, but it sounds so much better to say that you have Kulak monsters instead of roaches.
Comrades, do you think that we ought to have a Trotsky and PTC party, along with beet wine, for the upcoming May 1 celebration? I personally can think of nothing more patriotic.
Quote:a sort of Progressive Oreo.
Didn't he already get elected?
The Obama administration likes the idea. They're using this as economic policy already.
Margaret, socialism is cannibalism, but it is a truism which can never be said enough.
What about the Greenpeace Socialist Handbook? Using only union-grown or fair-trade products.
Eventually it all gets back to Soylent Green, doesn't it?
And who better to bless them as pieces of the True Trotsky than Red? There is kosher food, overseen by a rabbi; now we can have Trotsky food, overseen by Red.
Obamissar 7.62Comrades, this saddens me. I had great hopes of being able to someday snort a line of Trotsky, not eat him in a damned capitalist cookie! I shall have to go back to doing lines of powdered beets instead...
... Ashes to ashes, and crust to crust...
What about Trostky divinity candy?
In fact I would think that Magic Trotksy powder could be used as a hemolytic or anticoagulant. It might even be used to replace Heparin. Spread Trotsky ashes on the feet of vampire bats and they will shit themselves to death.
Torgo's Executive Powder is from a movie. Trotsky is a saint. You can tell from the stigma in his head.
And to do this sometimes we need to, er, hack them up into little bits and pieces. It beats starving them in concentration camps. You don't have to build the camp and pretend to feed them. And if they're all hacked up they can't write memoirs like Primo Levi or Solzenitzen.
Dead men tell no tales. If they're dead and disappeared that's really good.
Here's the recipe.
1. Three parts ground kulak and prole.
2. One part fair-trade soy beans
3. Two parts sawdust.
4. Three parts asbestos.
5. 1/2 part Nansky Peloski's used sanitary napkins
Season with diesel and castor oil.
Cook for five hours in a large steam kettle. Turn out onto pastry table. Roll to thickness of 1". Cut into hammer-and-sickle-shaped cookies. Serve with widows' tears and orphans' blood.
Commissar Theocritus...but gluing limbs onto bodies? Isn't that just the opposite of what he was after?
An excellent example is this pair of shoes made of prole feet. Comfortable in any weather and have a fun feature of turning blue when walking on snow or ice. Low in maintenance - just spray them with Odor-Eaters when they begin to smell and apply sunblock in the summer.
Also, do you think that we could come up with a pair of Prole Pumps for Our Many Titted Empress' trotters?
These will allow her to perform her combat missions against the Somali pirates not only with more bang, but also with great style.
Flipper pumps? Those could be used to fling dog shit on the streets of Manhattan at people, you know.
By the way, I'm now wondering about what sort of bustier that Our Many Titted Empress would most like. Cones, like Madonna? Just how many cones could she wear? After all, there has to be a cone for Iran, one for Palestine, and a cone for every other place where she goes to apologize for America.
And as for His O'liness, what about a version of those keychain photo albums? Instead of pictures of Gramps and Deedles, we could have his speech, so that he would not be embarrassed like this:
You don't know where to look.
tried the recipe three times, with the ashes of Bob Hope,
Jack Benny, and John Belushi,
but each batch tasted funny.
There is a saying, or was, in the gay world, "All clothing is drag," which is one of the wisest things that I've ever heard. I actually got a 14-year-old cousin, bright but unconcerned, to take notice of that. I didn't believe it at his age.
Yes, I know that at least one of you controls the teleprompter.
It must function perfectly always! I would be honored to catch the traitors who almost let the American president think for himself with their neglect of duty. I will find them, and I will personally deliver them to Lenin once he comes out of hibernation again.
These will receive signals on the Ku band. This means that no tin-foil hat needs to be bigger than 18"--the size of DirecTV or Dish antennae. But if clouds gather to the south, all Made Progressives and of course His O'liness will start posterization. This is signified by an increasing frequency of "...uh..." In video, a screen says that there are transmission problems. Verbally the signifier is, "I didn't have much sleep last night," which is very useful because it acts as an excuse and is passive-aggressive in implying that you have lost sleep working on Party business.
Be sure to give Laika a current shipping address. The last thing we want is for a Made Progressive to be out of synch with other Made Progressives and have to--and I shudder as I write this--think.
The one I have now fits comfortably and picks up Laika, CNN and MSNBC pretty well .
Just ask for it when you go in for your next tune-up at Jifi-Lobo. You know when you need to go in: Every three months or every three unprogressive thoughts.
Spread the love around.
Here's another Progressive
Ugly is not only skin deep.
Twinkie wrappers, most likely.
Anyone up for Crispy Trotsky Nuggets?