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Trump plagiarizes misogynist Greek slave

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Exclusive Craptek News Service Alert: We have discovered the original source of the racist expression “anchor baby” - a phrase that Donald Trump recently rescued from PC purgatory. The source is older than Rethuglikkkans or skin heads, more hateful than hate radio, and as evil as Bush himself!

The inventor/perpetrator of this misogynist, racist, child demeaning phrase was none other than Aesop, a slave and storyteller believed to have lived in ancient Greece between 620 and 560 BCE. Read the fable (below) substituting the word “baby” for “whelp”. Does the phrase “anchor whelps” come to mind?

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The Bitch and Her Whelps*

A bitch, ready to whelp, earnestly begged a shepherd for a place where she might litter. When her request was granted, she besought permission to rear her puppies in the same spot. The shepherd again consented. But at last the bitch, protected by the bodyguard of her whelps, who had now grown up and were able to defend themselves, asserted her exclusive right to the place and would not permit the shepherd to approach.


Well comrades... time passes but nothing really changes, does it? Anchor whelps or anchor babies -




* Translated by George Fyler Townsend. Aesop's Fables (p. 73). Amazon Digital Services, Inc..

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Trump makes me sick. Hold on ... Actually, his rhetoric on illegal immigrants has me thinking about Asian chicks again . . . why are they so hot???, Admit it Craptek they are . . . I asked a friend to set me up with her Taiwanese neighbor, but she just kicked me in the balls and ran away ....whats up with that?

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Red Walrus wrote:Trump makes me sick. Hold on ... Actually, his rhetoric on illegal immigrants has got me thinking about Asian chicks again . . . why are they so hot???, Admit it Craptek they are . . . I asked a friend to set me up with her Taiwanese neighbor, but she just kicked me in the balls and ran away ....whats up with that?

They're hot because of whatever they put in the food that makes your posterior sting like a wasp when you go and use the latrine.

As for the next time you mis-deploy dating tricks, I find a frosty beverage placed in the crotch region helps with the pain.

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Red Walrus wrote:Actually, his rhetoric on illegal immigrants has got me thinking about Asian chicks again . . . why are they so hot???
Global warming, obviously.

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Dedhedvedev wrote:
Red Walrus wrote:Actually, his rhetoric on illegal immigrants has got me thinking about Asian chicks again . . . why are they so hot???
Global warming, obviously.

Ok, global warming.

But if a rising tide caused by melting polar ice caps raises all boats, how did this happen?

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"The Squirrel and the Grasshopper" by Aesop

(I found this on the internet... I could never think this up on my own!)

THE WORLD VERSION

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the
winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in
the cold.

The End

THE AMERICAN VERSION


The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press
conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to
be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the
grasshopper, are cold and starving. MSNBC shows up to provide live
coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the
squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The American press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a
country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so
while others have plenty. The Democrat Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights
and The Grasshopper Council of America demonstrate in front of the
squirrel's house. MSNBC, interrupting a cultural festival special
from Hollywood with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural
choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Bernie Sanders rants in an
interview with Rachel Maddow that the squirrel got rich off the
backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the
squirrel to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to pressure from the media, the Government rushes through
the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act,
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The Republicans are
censored for objecting to the use of the word "bastards" in the Bill.
The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined
for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing
on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court
the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with
Section 8 housing, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a
local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.

The squirrel's food is seized and redistributed to the more needy
members of society, in this case the grasshopper. Without enough money
to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive
taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The
local authority takes over his old home and utilizes it as a temporary
home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to
the United States as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On
arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of America's
apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking
and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police
fed them kibbles instead of salmon while in custody. Initial moves
to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was
feared they would face death by the mice. The cats, forbidden from
taking jobs, devise a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
After a month, they buy a house in Malibu next to Barbra Streisand.
The local BMW dealer takes his wife on a world cruise on the back of
record sales. Barbra Streisand moves to Hoboken, New Jersey.

A PBS special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the
squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the Section
8 housing he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to
maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate
government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the US courts for their treatment
since arrival in the USA. They also sue Barbra Streisand, citing
'humiliation and rejection leading to panic attacks'

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a
burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but
released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and
supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a
botched robbery.

A commission, that will eventually cost $10,000,000 and
state the obvious, is set up.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is
increased. The asylum-seeking cats are praised by the government for
enriching America's multicultural diversity. Dogs (particularly
working breeds) are criticised by the government for failing to
befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the
press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the
root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic
experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a Republican.

The cats are paid a million dollars each because their rights were
infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in
the United States.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing,
the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on
their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay
for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond
65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

The End
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Progressives everywhere need a call to arms of this flagrant act of literary pillaging! Why hasn't MSNBC reported this? Where is the "60 Minutes" investigation? Mr. Trump-Hitler must be held accountable!!!

And stop this talk of Asian chicks! I, for one, do not want Comrade Rosie O. to take notice. We already have one Red Walrus as a member of The Party™.

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Comrades, let us not be too hasty. Trump may become a useful idiot. If we give him a term, move his focus to the unguarded Canadian border and get the fence built there, we prevent further influx of radicals like Ted Cruz...once the fence is up, we accuse him of a molehill offense, make a mountain out of it, and install our own puppet government again!

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
Dedhedvedev wrote:
Red Walrus wrote:Actually, his rhetoric on illegal immigrants has got me thinking about Asian chicks again . . . why are they so hot???
Global warming, obviously.

Ok, global warming.

But if a rising tide caused by melting polar ice caps raises all boats, how did this happen?

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Well obviously, when the sea level rises, the larger blubber-based mammals are able to come in closer to the shore, sometimes managing to beach themselves on Manhattan and flop over to NBC to film a TV show or three.

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Also, Comrade Putout, you forgot to mention that #Grasshopperlivesmatter and how the canine-centric police brutality was the real reason for Grasshopper's drug addiction illness.

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Andrey Vyshinsky wrote:Also, Comrade Putout, you forgot to mention that [highlight=#ffff00]#Grasshopperlivesmatter[/highlight] and how the canine-centric police brutality was the real reason for Grasshopper's drug addiction illness.

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How thoughtful (and timely) of Comrade Vyshinsky to mention this new cause. I was just applying for a grant to fund my "Save The Crickets" world tour. Adding grasshoppers to the grant application will be a shoe-in. (get it?) After all, the least we can do for the little creatures is provide them with comfortable, warm shoes for the upcoming winter. Heartwarming, isn't it?


 
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