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U.S. Al-chemist turns CO2 into gold!

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Alchemists have been trying to transmute common elements into gold for hundreds of years.

Recently an American Al-Chemist claims to have succeeded where so many have failed.

"The secret is that you need a special catalyst to turn common elements into gold," confided Al Gore, former senator from Tennessee and vice-president to Bill Clinton. "My method is to force the sale of carbon credits through a huge steaming pile of what I like to call climate science."

"The hardest part is to get people to exchange precious metals like gold and silver for worthless carbon credits. To do that you need a lot of junk science, but it becomes a real gravy train when combined with government mandates."

Mr. Gore declined to elaborate further about how he was able to manipulate this market for private gain, but Mr X, an old college roommate, gave us some hints. "Yeah, ‘Crazy-Al' was always talking about some get-rich scheme or another. Back in the 80s he was sure that he was going to make a lot of money on new technology. He said that if his patent for the internet was approved, he would charge half a penny for each web page, and he would never have to work again".

"I said, 'Al, you're already in Congress--you don't have to work!' He didn't think that was very funny. But when he became unemployed back in 2000, he decided to take his chance. He told me that his mentor George Soros had once told him the secret to easy money: You can be as rich as you want--you just have to make a whole lot of other people poorer."


Note: This article is in honor of tomorrow's day of propaganda,where Mr. Gore and his friends will once again proclaim that "the science is settled" and that "deniers" like myself should be silenced so they can implement their radical policy of government control over energy, food, water and other natural resources.

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Greetings from the Collective, Russj! Welcome to the wonderful World of Next Tuesday and active posting! The Party has had its Argus Eye on you since you joined our glorious struggle on January 26 in 2009 at 12:24 a.m. Long have you stood in the stalwart silent ranks of the Party, offering your moral strength to us all. But now you have stepped up and posted!

This is a fine and fetching article, one that I think belongs on the far more visible People's Blog than on the People's Competition. And if I may offer a posting tip, if you will click on the "editor for the rich option" below, you will find a better way to upload your heroic graphics of the People's Hero Al Gore.


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I. Betinov
For the Central Bureaucracy


Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Ahem...

Yes, Well... according to Ben Bernanke: "Gold isn't money" ...is it, Russj?

I frankly find this alchemist is a bit anachronistic considering the progressive innovation of fiat currency. If we need additional wealth, we simply print it!

I would urge you to take your next holiday to the Peoples Paradise of Zimbabwe on your next holiday. Boss Robert has made EVERY citizen a millionare.

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Ivan Betinov wrote:Greetings from the Collective, Russj! Welcome to the wonderful World of Next Tuesday and active posting! The Party has had its Argus Eye on you since you joined our glorious struggle on January 26 in 2009 at 12:24 a.m. Long have you stood in the stalwart silent ranks of the Party, offering your moral strength to us all. But now you have stepped up and posted!

This is a fine and fetching article, one that I think belongs on the far more visible People's Blog than on the People's Competition. And if I may offer a posting tip, if you will click on the "editor for the rich option" below, you will find a better way to upload your heroic graphics of the People's Hero Al Gore.


(s)
I. Betinov
For the Central Bureaucracy

As I recall, Com. Betinov, those who call attention to themselves during a mindless purge -- especially ones who have not previously been very active in the recent past -- are usually guilty.

Shall I round this one up then?

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Comrade, you are almost there. The issue is still with implementing actions such as float and link while on the "poor" editor. We must never allow the poor equal rights with the rich (inner party) members until enlightenment, for the good of the children. Don't tell me this is not common in collectives world wide, for we know the truth.

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You can always count on "Bend Over Ben" to say something, with or without taking the time to engage his brain, fully or partially.

Major Mistake says It all depends on the on/off switch to his central nervous system.


 
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