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USPS Proposed Stamps Denounced as Dangerous For Children

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Dear Comrades,

The Commissar for Youth Safety of the Department of Mandatory Health and Compulsory Human Services has denounced theartists of the United State Postal Service who composed drawings of children engaging in immoral activities which where to be used for postage stamps. Thanks to the sharp eye of Comrade Chairwoman Michelle Frazerovna Obama, these pictures were identified and referred to the Commissar for immediate action, averting their potential release.

These depraved and abusive images include depictions of children engaged in risky and potentially life-threatening behaviors and positions. While these pictures were supposed to be used as agitational propaganda for the vital ‘Let's Move' campaign to help Young Socialists physically develop into healthy workers, it is very clear that the artists responsible were, in fact, attempting to undermine the project through negative suggestion.

In recent months, the Party has made great progress in providing for child safety, including the banning of unsafe entertainment practices that have been responsible for countless injuries. Many of these games, such as tag, were also designed to teach children to single one another out in a non-egalitarian manner and instilled violent and competitive tendencies which science has proved are underlying causes of societal violence.

Educational Administrators and State-appointed child care professionals know the dangers that children face when they are allowed to develop their own forms of entertainment without adult regulation. Their innocent mistakes soon devolve into emergency room trips to treat scrape knees and anxiety issues caused by the ‘loss' during competitive games. Therefore, the State must regulate children to guarantee their safety and security, as well as their compliance with government authority figures.

State artists are reminded that children must always be depicted wearing Party-approved safety equipment appropriate to their environmental challenges.

These seditious wreckers who composed these foul images will soon discover that the Proletariat will not tolerate the abuse of children. The workers and peasants of the USSA will not allow their children to be put at physical risk, nor will they stand for their children to be left to their own devices!

We salute Comrade Michelle for her vigilance! Protect the children from unnecessary childhood traumas associated with unregulated play!


Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

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Comrade...Comrade! Calm yourself, please.

Minilove ordered the destruction of these stamps on my orders.

I was doing some simple arithmetic on my Inner-Party abacus and it appears that children doing cannonballs and skating without knee-pads would cost our Glorious Obamacare millions of dollars a year in stitches. These are additional costs we cannot encourage.

I expect you to not mention this again. The people asked for Obamacare and now they are getting it. And they will get it.

End Transmission...

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INGSOC wrote:Comrade...Comrade! Calm yourself, please.

Minilove ordered the destruction of these stamps on my orders.

I was doing some simple arithmetic on my Inner-Party abacus and it appears that children doing cannonballs and skating without knee-pads would cost our Glorious Obamacare millions of dollars a year in stitches. These are additional costs we cannot encourage.

I expect you to not mention this again. The people asked for Obamacare and now they are getting it. And they will get it.

End Transmission...
Also, do not forget our cronies cooperating sources who purvey helmets, knee-pads, and other protective devices to public, and all of whom provide generous kickbacks to us social rewards and good example to citizenry.

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The stamp showing the Obama Youth kicking a soccer ball is also depicting unsafe and reckless behavior as said child is not wearing a soft helmet. A publik skool district in the Glorious and Progressive State of New Jersey has already addressed this problem.



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No knee- and elbow-pads? No thoracic protection plate? Some missing proper shoes and grip-enhancing gloves. Still unacceptable!

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Besides, what child would want to look like that weenie they have now chosen as model?

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Chairman Meow wrote:The stamps have been fixed and reissued:
just-move-stamps.jpg

Baseball image is inkorect.

Image "Eeeeh!"

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Nomenklatura-climber wrote:No knee- and elbow-pads? No thoracic protection plate? Some missing proper shoes and grip-enhancing gloves. Still unacceptable!
Comrade, those are for the peasantry; Dear Leader, of course, has a waiver.

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The Russian Federation also released a "Let's Move" stamp this week:

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