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Comrades, it is my solemn obligation duty mandate joy to remind you all of the importance of the coming days. Usually, we here in the People's Republic of Maryland vote with the utmost confidence in The Party; hopefully now that the machines have been properly calibrated and will only allow the approved outcome, we can turn our focus to the other states in desperate need of re-calibration.

I've been pressed influenced by [name withheld] to reintroduce the facts before you so you can better vote with revenge while it's still fresh on your mind.

• Vote for revenge because Lena Dunham was raped... or something.
  
• Vote for revenge so we can use NASA to properly educate ISIS on Globa... Climate Disruption.
  
• Vote for revenge Commune Core inside of all our schools and do away with the archaic principles of 'critical thinking' and replace them with 'Critical Theory.'
  
• Vote for revenge because Ebola deserves a fair fight.
  
• Vote for revenge so that the Glorious Five Year Plan issued by [name withheld] can continue on to its sixth year unrestrained and allow for more jobs, opportunities, and growth to leave our economy in place of benefits for loyal followers of the Progressive Revolution.
  
• Vote for revenge so that we can once more say [name withheld]'s name without worrying that others will leave the stadium due to the sheer unworthiness they feel to be in His presence.
  
• Vote for revenge so we can keep guns off the streets and back into the responsible hands of Diane Feinstein.
  
• Vote for revenge because we cannot allow The Enemy to take control of the Senate, which would allow them to... to... hm... that's right, we have executive orders. Do your best to keep them out anyways.
  
• Vote for revenge in order to allow the FEC to silence unapproved counter-revolutionary content providers, such as Drudge, F-x, (washes hands) and every other source of unregulated speech.
  
• Vote for revenge in your respective states, and if possible, the ones next to you. Be sure to inform all your relatives of their assigned election stations, whether alive or those with abnormally low heart rates.
  
• Vote for revenge to show the opposition that voter fraud is a li(v)e! (statement is unrelated to above point)
  
• Vote for revenge so that we can better secure the border between the White House and the masses.
  
• Vote for revenge so that when Hillary, Fluke, Lil' Debbie, 1/32 brain functional Elizabeth Warren, or even Our Dearest Lady, Purveyor of the Future Workers' Rations Moochelle Obola walk into the Oval Office to take their turn, they'll be welcomed by their comrades in open arms.

Vote for revenge! Vote with your lady parts! Vote early and often! Vote for continuation of our Glorious System!

Comrade S,

Even as a Prog I can't vote for revenge. I know some are being threatened by ad campaigns saying, "We will know if you voted." Nasty stuff.

I, as a made Prog, am beginning to turn right, as are many of my brethren. It's in the news!

So, my vote is "other."

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

PS: If I have to, I will vote for the party approved candidate and work from there. I have no choice but to do this.

Comrade Pamalinksy,

That's more than 19 words. I have read about our party demanding people vote in the great collectives of New York and Connecticut. What I don't understand is why our party needs to take this step? They have a proud tradition of cemetery residents rising from the grave and casting votes for our party every election day. So why increase climate disruption by ruining trees for such messages? Relax, deceased voters will save the day for our party!

I assume all these polls contain tracking technology to determine who is voting which way and thus who is to be given therapy in Party-approved gulags restorative facilities. But still, I am disturbed by the whole notion of <ptui> secret ballots. Did not one supposed Party member recently hide behind such a notion to avoid saying whether she had voted for Dear Leader?

Comrade Vlad Linen wrote:Comrade Pamalinksy,

That's more than 19 words.

Well, excuuuuuse me! H/T Steve Martin.