We have just uncovered proof of new crimes committed by the war-criminal George W. Bush.

In 2003, the evil President Bush forced our nation into a war in Iraq by claiming that Saddam Hussein had "Weapons of Mass Destruction" which he was planning on using against the rest of the world. Of course, there never were any WMDs, as we soon found out. It was just an excuse for Bush and Cheney to kill innocent people for oil and money and also probably to drink the blood of Iraqi children.


Cheney beating poor little Saddam was merely a scapegoat for Bush
helpless Saddam Hussein. and Cheney

Now, in what appears to be an elaborate hoax just like 9/11 was, Bush has been burying missiles in Iraq attempting to alter history and exonerate himself for causing the most evil war ever. One such "WMD" has just been uncovered in Baghdad:


Closer inspection reveals disguised Bush

present at scene of "WMD" discovery.
Experts like Keith Olbermann agree that this missile find will probably be the first of many; we have only begun to uncover the elaborate hoax that Bush has masterminded. Up until now, Bush's disappearance from the public eye was puzzling and suspicious. No one has really known what this bloodthirsty criminal has been plotting. However, this discovery has revealed that he and Cheney have likely been burying hundreds of these fake WMDs all over Iraq since President Obama bravely took power away from them and rescued our nation.

The following is an artist's rendition of how one such crime scene may have looked:

Bush likely buried this puppy alive with the missile.

Egad! How does the multifarious Mr. Bush find time for all of his elaborate evil schemes!?

Public Disarmament Czar wrote:

We have just uncovered proof of new crimes committed by the war-criminal George W. Bush.

In 2003, the evil President Bush forced our nation into a war in Iraq by claiming that Saddam Hussein had "Weapons of Mass Destruction" which he was planning on using against the rest of the world. Of course, there never were any WMDs, as we soon found out. It was just an excuse for Bush and Cheney to kill innocent people for oil and money and also probably to drink the blood of Iraqi children.

CLick here .....

http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

Look carefully, it's not what it seems at first glance.

Of <i>course</i> Bush and Cheney are war criminals. That's written in stone tablets. Keith told me that, and you know how honest he is, especially if he's just eaten another family-sized bucket of chicken. His second one of the day.

I was so glad to hear President Awesome Zero explain to the American public that although his year hasn't been good, he inherited it all from the Bu$hitler. That seems perfectly reasonable to me. In fact I've had a few forwarded emails from people like James Carville who are saying that George W. Bush is the reason that Judas Iscariot betrayed Christ. And considering how evil and wily those Bushes are, I wouldn't put it past them.

Anyone notice the scurrilous look at Bush's face in the above picture. Truly, a man not to be trusted... and there he is.... shovel in hand! The NYTimes has been certainly exonerated.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:In fact I've had a few forwarded emails from people like James Carville who are saying that George W. Bush is the reason that Judas Iscariot betrayed Christ.
(<a href="https://www.scrappleface.com/?p=4513#ID ... 66">quoted elsewhere</a>)

Progressive mythology also insists that Comrade Carville sits at the right hand of comrade satan, the commissar of lies, and peers from the pit; therefore, he has a good vantage point from which to form his unbiased opinions.

If that puppy is the dog that ate all of ObamaCare's benefits that no one could find and the Climate Research Unit's temperature data which proves AGW, I think we have TWO MORE crimes Bush is responsible for.

Opiate, let's not forget that NASA is being sued to provide climate data too. I wonder if we gave the same amount of money to Boeing would we get better results? Perhaps not. After all, it took FedEx to make me love the Postal Service. And that was possibly only after some intense Jiffy-Lobo and lots and lots of soul-searching.

Nikolai, you may be interested to know that the leper colony in the 48 contiguous states is called Carville--named after Serpenthead's grandfather, who was postmaster there, and for his father too. It seems that James is the first one to get off the leper colony and he is now doing Mother Teresa-type volunteer work as a Democrat consultant.

Which must be <i>so</i> hard after growing up around lepers.

Theo, NASA is being sued for climate data by some wingnut front group named "the Competitive Enterprise Institute." Right off the bat, the words "competitive" and "enterprise" suggest evil and, coupled with "institute" (a derivative of "institutionalized") we can break the code to ascertain that these people are a group of evil lunatics. They probably drive pickup trucks like most other racists. I think we can dismiss them as a source of serious science.

Your point about Fed Ex and the Postal Service is well taken. For years I resented the Fed Ex ads which blathered the disgusting screed "when it absolutely positively has to be there overnight." The gall of them to speak about "absolutes", a concept which offends my post-modern mind. And the smug, self-righteous aura of competence they project makes me and others like me feel inferior. What's the big deal? I could be competent too if I worked hard and gave a shit, but I'm not an arrogant a-hole who likes to show off like some people.

I prefer the "it'll get there when it gets there" nonchalance of Amerikka's favorite quasi-governmental agency. And I like their progressive economics: 45 cents to send your letter across the street or across the country! But best of all, they give the average shlub like me HOPE for despite continually losing market share, increasing irrelevance in a world of emails and on-line bill paying and perennially incompetent management they STILL get to raise their prices every year. There's nothing like having the government behind you. Ask GM.

Opiate, that's why I <i>love</i> the government. As I understand it, Saturn was going to be bought by Penske, who wanted the dealerships. But GM jacked around and it fell through.

And why shouldn't they jack around? After all, they have the American taxpayer behind them. I for one loathe my job. It's a small business where I have to be responsive to the customers. I have to <i>listen</i> to them and give them what they want.

This business has been going since 1883 and you'd think by now I'd get grandfathered in, wouldn't you? That I wouldn't even have to show up for work. Now I haven't been doing it all that time, but in 21 days it will be 39 years with time off for good behavior. Like college.

I ask you. Is that fair? Had I worked for government I'd have at least one retirement, and I could be grumbling with the other old farts about not getting my COLAs or enough OPM from young people.

I've been having all sorts of trouble with my tinfoil hat lately, I think it is because of all the recent climate change events (I keep forgetting the new phrase - almost called it Global Warming there [again], ha ha, oops!). Messages keep getting garbled and mixed up. Is anyone else having trouble? Is there a setting or something I can adjust?

For example, one message I've never received very clearly at all: am I to think Bush is a Machiavellian evil genius, or a bumbling fool incapable of tying his own shoes? I'm pretty sure I've heard both messages and it hurts what is left of my brain to have both, conflicting thoughts in there at the same time.

Ah, PetC, that's why we have Jiffy-Lobo. I designed Jiffy-Lobo to take care of those pesky episodes of cognitive dissonance. Of course Bush cannot be both the biggest idiot on earth and the successor to dear Nicolai: when you start to realize that, hie thyself over to your nearest Jiffy-Lobo and have one of the Dr. Mengele-trained surgeons use a boat motor on those pesky prefrontal lobes.

It does me a treat, you know. Oh, for a while I have to wear adult diapers, but that's a small price to pay for never being conflicted as a Made Prog. Since there are so many holes, er, yawning gaps, er, lacunae in the belief systems of the progressive, it's utterly necessary to have your prefrontal lobes excised from time to time. Just to save yourself the worry.

Thank you, sir. Uh, does it hurt? I'm a little squeemish about pain. Is it possible to have the pain part inflicted on one of my neighbors, and I just receive the benefit?

Comrade Theocritus is right: the fault lies not with your government issued tinfoil hat but with your own brain...and you should feel guilty about that.

Might I suggest the special corpus callosotomy Jiffy-Lobo operation? It disconnects the two halves of your brain, allowing you to believe Bush is an evil manipulator with one half and that he is an incompetent fool with the other. Merely use whichever half of your brain is appropriate for the "Blame-Bush!" related situation you are presented with. You see, while laughing at Bush is a highly useful tool, it is not appropriate for all situations and people. Although many people will turn against a leader if they lose respect for him, many others are better influenced through fear. We use both methods simultaneously to manipulate more people than we could with one method alone.

If you start having these pesky thoughts again, don't worry; it's natural. It just means your brain is trying to grow back together. Just get Commisarka Pinkie to whack you with her shovel directly on top of your head to jar the two brain chunks back apart. A properly lobo-ed brain takes some upkeep.

Here's how this news story could also be correctly reported:

Bush Fails to Find Forgotten
WMDs Clearly Hidden in Dirt!
President Obama humbly announced this morning without a teleprompter that he will not rest, or play golf, until he has dealt with the missiles that his bumbling predecessor left in the ground. Apparently Bush forgot why he told troops to go to Iraq in the first place: to find the WMDs Saddam had. Now, he has left our nation and the nation of Iraq in an epic buried-missile crisis that only Barack Obama can save us from.

Comrade BetC, do not worry about the pain. Dr. Horst is very good. The first place that he whacks is the pain center. After that you feel nothing. This is when you have all those painful little touch-up things done. You know, colonoscopy, minor surgery, circumcision... You won't feel a thing. Except good.

PDC, there is much as you say to cutting the corpus callosum; it certainly does make it easier to be of two minds and when I might be found out to be wrong I'm always pusillanimous. But I have known some people who have had that enhancement done who started hearing voices.

We have to ask ourselves: do we want to set an example for fashionable compliance surgical procedures which, if picked up by the likes of Nanski Peloski, would render them slightly less intelligent than sandstone?