Do you remember where you were and what you were doing on that dark day when you realized you couldn't access the People's Cube online?

As for me, I was at my computer trying to get on to the People's Cube. It changed my life and the course of human history. I remember it like it was yesterday.

I remember those dark days. As a connoisseur and user of wonderful Soviet technology, 3 days waiting for my new system to boot up, I got to the front door of The Cube, and was sent directly back to my boot screen. Damn that Bushitler.

Comrades, the outage was intentional and was meant to expose those who were cheating the revolution by attempting to read the People's Cube instead of doing their duty and hectoring strangers into signing up for ObamaCare. Congratulations, you have self-identified yourselves as traitors. Pack some warm clothes and plenty of brake fluid, the Siberian winters get mighty cold.

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Maurice was attempting to release my Root Chakra during one of my twice-daily massages when this news reached my dacha.

Needless to say I was devastated!!
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Comrade Putout wrote:.Maurice was attempting to release my Root Chakra during one of my twice-daily massages when this news reached my dacha.

I've got your root, right here!

Comrade Putout wrote: Maurice was attempting to release my Root Chakra ....

Looks like he's getting a little too close to the Sacral Hara Chakra there ....

Red Walrus wrote:I remember those dark days. As a connoisseur and user of wonderful Soviet technology, 3 days waiting for my new system to boot up, I got to the front door of The Cube, and was sent directly back to my boot screen. Damn that Bushitler.

Comrade Walrus, this sounds like much bushitl.

Glorious Soviet computer can boot in two days.

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Comrade Lev, of course yours boots in 2 days, you have an interocitor.

Comrades, I personally didn't notice, because I was, of course, canvassing the beet fields and signing up workers for Obamacare.

However, one of the members of the 14 families currently sharing my humble dacha took this photo:

... so I know there were problems because, Bush.

We're trying to get a plasma tv for our collective...if we sell enough plasma we can get a tv like yours.

[color=#C0392B]Lev Termen[/color] was not kidding when he wrote:Glorious Soviet computer can boot in two days.

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Comrades, was horrific day. This humble ditch digger of State could not access Cube even using Linux. (A peoples operating system if ever was one.) To think country went from such glorious victory over Bushitler, kulak followers, and tea party ilk to low of Obamacare web site not working, then no Cube. At least still have extra beet or two saved away for cold winter - as promise of Global Warming also failing right now.

It was last Wednesday around 10:30 pm. I'd just finished making a post, something I hadn't done in a very long time, after which I logged off the Cube.

Then I received an e-mail from Comrade Otis. He couldn't log in and was receiving a message that the Cube was being hacked. He wanted to know if I was having the same trouble.

No, possibly because hackers fear my shovel; but why the hell, I wondered, was Otis bugging ME with this? Wasn't this a job for Red Square? Do I look like Red Square? Why didn't Otis pester Red Square instead of me? Who does he think I am, Red Square's secretary?

And that's when I remembered that I am Red Square's secretary.

So I sent Comrade Otis the standard response on Cube letterhead:

Dear Comrade Otis,

I have been asked by The People's Director, Red Square, to thank you for visiting The People's Cube, and for your kind thoughtfulness in taking the time to write.

Although The People's Director does not have time to personally answer each and every piece of correspondence he receives, rest assured he does read them all, because he truly cares what the masses have to say about The People's Cube. You'll be pleased to know he even wears a ribbon on his lapel to show how much he cares.

Knowing folks like you are out there struggling gives him confidence that things are getting better!

On behalf of The People's Director, please accept my best wishes that you find government in all your endeavors.

Very Progressively Yours,

Pinkie
Secretary to The People's Director
Commissarka of The People's Secretarial Services and Temp Agency™

Ask about our robo-signing services, and you could be eligible to win a coupon for up to three minutes off your next wait at Healthcare.gov!

That must've solved Otis's problem, because I never heard from him again. That, or he's busy enjoying his reduced wait at Healthcare.gov.

Commissarka, as always, your congeniality and cordial non-commitment are a welcome and glorious thing to behold!

Collossus, you are above criticism.

Opiate of the People wrote:Comrades, the outage was intentional and was meant to expose those who were cheating the revolution by attempting to read the People's Cube instead of doing their duty and hectoring strangers into signing up for ObamaCare. Congratulations, you have self-identified yourselves as traitors. Pack some warm clothes and plenty of brake fluid, the Siberian winters get mighty cold.

Rest Assured Comrade Opiate,

I was doing my duty and was telling a person in my age group about all of the joys of signing up for Obamacare. Unfortunately, she just didn't seem to be grasping or buying off on my talking points......It was almost like she just instinctively knew inside that somehow OCARE was going to be a bad deal for her.


It was then that I realized that The Cube might be able to provide me with some extra talking
points that I could use to convince her that O-Care is the greatest thing since beet vodka was invented. So, as I was trying to log on to the Cube it was then and only then that I discovered that fiend and spawn of Satan, Bush had carried out his nefarious hack job. Spit!!
I'm sure if I could've accessed The Cube at that time I would have found something that would have made her sign up right then and there. As it stands, she just got up and left after I told her that I would have to get back to her with more information as The Cube was down at the moment..... The bottom line Comrade, is not only did he hack The Cube but BUSH HAD ALSO STOPPED ME FROM SIGNING HER UP for OCARE and is still making OBAMA LOOK BAD!!!!!!! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him......spit, hack, drool, cough.....gag.

Thought Sheriff wrote:Collossus, you are above criticism.

I think my tablet needs to reboot after the outage, I keep getting a blank screen.

Subversive_Skwerl wrote:I think my tablet needs to reboot after the outage, I keep getting a blank screen.