[img]/images/Right_Wingers_Happier.jpg[/img]

We have long known that right-wing people are better looking, smarter, happier, and even have a better sex life without demanding that the government pays for their contraceptives.

No one knew how to effectively argue that fact, deny it, rationalize it, or turn it into an asset - until now. A groundbreaking scientific research has finally answered the most puzzling question of the Universe: Why would anyone in their right mind ever vote for a right-winger?

As a side effect, scientists also explained that people's right-wing politics stem from their beauty, talent, ability, strength, and well-being, which also signals to others what one's politics might be just by looking at them.

Highlights:

• Politicians on the right look more beautiful in Europe, the U.S. and Australia.
  
• As beautiful people earn more, they are more likely to oppose redistribution.
  
• Voters use beauty as a cue for conservatism in low-information elections.
  
• Politicians on the right benefit more from beauty in low-information elections.

The Washington Post explains it to their less attractive and intelligent readers in simpler terms:

Conservatives really are better looking, research says

Numerous studies have shown that good-looking people are likely to earn more, and that people who earn more are typically more opposed to redistributive policies, like the progressive taxes and welfare programs favored by the left.

The researchers also offer a more general psychological explanation for the trend: That good-looking people are often treated better than others, and thus see the world as a more just place. Past studies have found that the more attractive people believe themselves to be, the lower their preference for egalitarianism, a value typically associated with the political left.

This, comrades, is your answer to what is preventing us from reaching the Glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday: individual beauty, success, talent, and superior intellect.

These are the reasons why, even after eight glorious years of Obama's presidency, our society still continues to be unfair, unequal, and harshly divided. On the one side, there are the beautiful, smart, and successful - and on the other side there are the Democrat voters who can't achieve anything in life on their own merit because, through no fault of their own, they spend all their time and effort envying the other half and devising means to make their lives miserable.

The only logical way out of this tragic situation is to scar the beautiful, cripple the athletes, lobotomize the scientists, blind the artists, and sever the hands of the musicians. Is this too much to ask the government to do in order to achieve a happy, fair, and equitable society?

A happy society is one in which nobody envies anybody because they are all equally unattractive, unskilled, untalented, unhealthy, and intellectually unexciting. But they won't know that about themselves because all exceptions from that rule will be thoroughly eliminated.

The Washington Post apparently shares this vision, otherwise why would they frame their argument in a way that makes beauty morally repulsive? They wouldn't admit it if you put it this way, but underneath the moral grandstanding, the only progressive recipe for a happy society is the reduction of envy through the elimination of success.

The beautiful and successful right-wingers will object to this by saying that such a society will not be happy because one cannot achieve happiness by making others unhappy. That just shows how little they know us. Seeing them lose all their beauty and wealth will make us happier than we've ever been.

They may also say that all our ideas are unsustainable illusions that even we ourselves find hard to believe. They'll say that we are so vocal about our progressivism merely because it makes us appear better, smarter and kinder than everyone else - but without this philosophy, as individuals, we are neither smart nor kind. That is hate speech. We must denounce it as racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, and also very likely Islamophobic.

That speech is also unconstitutional because the U.S. Constitution states that being happy is our constitutional right. And if the only thing that will make us happy is your destruction, than it's the government's responsibility to take away your beauty, talent, money, well-being, and success. What sacrifices have you made for your country? We need one now, right away. It will make at least one half of the country happy. The other half will happily comply - or else.

[img]/images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]
Recycling another idea from my book...

[img]/images/Wings_Broken_Government_600.jpg[/img]

We must fight the right-wingers and their bourgeois attractiveness, because we must live in a "Harrison Bergeron" world. Vonnegut gave us the blueprint.

HARRISON BERGERON by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

On the other hand, just look at this profile! Would it really be fair, equal, and diverse to rob the world of this handsome, lovable mug? Praise the Lord, and pass the Brylcreem!

Great Stalin's Ghost - your hair shines the guiding light to the socialist youth. I wouldn't be happier if every young man and woman in America looked like your avatar.

But here's a list of deviations from the norm I was talking about. See how abnormally attractive the Republican female species are as opposed to the Democratic ones? This must be stopped.

We need to reorient all Obamacare-compliant clinics to do body-altering procedures for Republican-to-Democrat conversion. We must do it in a hurry before the more attractive and intelligent Republicans repeal and replace ACA, leaving us without this option.

So then: “A happy society is one in which nobody envies anybody because they are all equally unattractive, unskilled, untalented, unhealthy, and intellectually unexciting. But they won't know that about themselves because all exceptions from that rule will be thoroughly eliminated”. Well, then I guess this premise supports the progressive double bag process in which both wear face bags before sex. All faces are equal!

[color=#C0392B]Great Stalin's Ghost[/color] recommended a wonderful short story when he wrote:We must fight the right-wingers and their bourgeois attractiveness, because we must live in a "Harrison Bergeron" world. Vonnegut gave us the blueprint.

HARRISON BERGERON by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

.
Kurt Vonnegut at Wikipedia!
.
Vonnegut disregarded more mainstream political ideologies in favor of socialism, which he thought could provide a valuable substitute for what he saw as social Darwinism and a spirit of "survival of the fittest" in American society, believing that "socialism would be a good for the common man". Vonnegut would often return to a quote by socialist and five-time presidential candidate Eugene V. Debs, who went to prison for his beliefs: "As long as there is a lower class, I am in it. As long as there is a criminal element, I'm of it. As long as there is a soul in prison, I am not free." Vonnegut expressed disappointment that communism and socialism seemed to be unsavory topics to the average American, and believed that they may offer beneficial substitutes to contemporary social and economic systems.
.

So it could be said Conservatives are the Party of pulchritude.

Good looking and honest:

New Study: Liberals Are Far More Likely To Commit Crime Than Conservatives
Four researchers sought to discover whether or not political ideology could predict criminal behavior, what they found could upend our entire political and criminal justice systems.

Political ideology represents an imperfect yet important indicator of a host of personality traits and cognitive preferences. These preferences, in turn, seemingly propel liberals and conservatives towards divergent life-course experiences. Criminal behavior represents one particular domain of conduct where differences rooted in political ideology may exist. Using a national dataset, we test whether and to what extent political ideology is predictive of self-reported criminal behavior. Our results show that self-identified political ideology is mono-tonically related to criminal conduct cross-sectionally and prospectively and that liberals self-report more criminal conduct than do conservatives. We discuss potential causal mechanisms relating political ideology to individual conduct.

The data was gathered through “self-reported” behavior and is therefore cannot be trusted as a fool-proof result, but it is instructive in explaining important cultural differences between conservatives and liberals. The data gathered and research presented seems to indicate a very strong correlation between political ideology and willingness to commit criminal behavior!
https://lidblog.com/liberals-more-likely-commit-crime/

Oh yeah, I was wondering why all those rich successful beautiful people of Hollywood were such reactionary right wingers.

Hahahahahahaha! You crazy commies.

Comrades,
It is all one damn big carnival.

Long Live My 150 Year Revolution.

Numerous studies have shown that good-looking people are likely to earn more, and that people who earn more are typically more opposed to redistributive policies, like the progressive taxes and welfare programs favored by the left.

We don't need this study to understand what Marx proved: self-serving economic considerations drive all of human affairs.

Except for us. As leftists we are above self-serving economic considerations. That's why we're good people and the Right are just reactionaries. As Marx proved: all human action is based on economic considerations except for our side.

Comrades,










Please don't forget to mention my favorite 60's fashion model, Rosa DeLauro. Here, we see her sporting a vintage Bohemian outfit complete with faux leather clodhoppers. (*sans spats)

Quote from The Huffington Post, 01/03/2013:

"Rosa DeLauro, D-Conn., Wears Awesome Outfit To Congressional Photo Opp"

*Ms DeLauro considers spats a fashion affectation

Red Square, not to denigrate a loyal comrade and true believer like Helen Thomas, but I'm betting her looks have improved in the time since that photo was taken - or at least since July 20, 2013.

Comrade Putout wrote:

[color=#C0392B]Great Stalin's Ghost[/color] recommended a wonderful short story when he wrote:We must fight the right-wingers and their bourgeois attractiveness, because we must live in a "Harrison Bergeron" world. Vonnegut gave us the blueprint.

HARRISON BERGERON by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

.
Kurt Vonnegut at Wikipedia!
.
Vonnegut disregarded more mainstream political ideologies in favor of socialism, which he thought could provide a valuable substitute for what he saw as social Darwinism and a spirit of "survival of the fittest" in American society, believing that "socialism would be a good for the common man". Vonnegut would often return to a quote by socialist and five-time presidential candidate Eugene V. Debs, who went to prison for his beliefs: "As long as there is a lower class, I am in it. As long as there is a criminal element, I'm of it. As long as there is a soul in prison, I am not free." Vonnegut expressed disappointment that communism and socialism seemed to be unsavory topics to the average American, and believed that they may offer beneficial substitutes to contemporary social and economic systems.
.

Comrade Putout,

Watching an interview with Vonnegut in his later days, it was obvious that he was a true, unapologetic, Amerikkkan hating, pompous, . . . um . . . but he did write Harrison Bergeron.

Captain Craptek wrote:

Comrades,










Please don't forget to mention my favorite 60's fashion model, Rosa DeLauro. Here, we see her sporting a vintage Bohemian outfit complete with faux leather clodhoppers. (*sans spats)

Quote from The Huffington Post, 01/03/2013:

"Rosa DeLauro, D-Conn., Wears Awesome Outfit To Congressional Photo Opp"

*Ms DeLauro considers spats a fashion affectation

Good Lord! Komrade Squirrel Nuts, are you sure you didn't do a little more photo-editing than just the pocket?!

So, going to bed every night with the same woman, whom you know and who knows you, whom you love and who loves you, to whom you are mutually committed, shared sorrows and joys, mutually supported in failure and success, possibly shared sacrifices to raise other people to maturity and a functional life (children), and whom you know will be there in the morning, can make you happier and provide a better sex-life than trolling the bars/social media every night, hoping you can get lucky enough to find somebody else willing to settle for a hook-up/use you and be used for sex, hoping the beer-goggles/profile pic aren't lying too much (see above photos), hoping you don't catch some disease, and knowing that you'll have to do the same thing all over again tomorrow night or sleep alone...? Nope, I just can't possibly see how that could be true.

Very Progressively Yours,
Komrade Grendelssohnovovich

p.s. Don't show this to the wife.

Grendelssohnovovich wrote:

Captain Craptek wrote:

Comrades,










Please don't forget to mention my favorite 60's fashion model, Rosa DeLauro. Here, we see her sporting a vintage Bohemian outfit complete with faux leather clodhoppers. (*sans spats)

Quote from The Huffington Post, 01/03/2013:

"Rosa DeLauro, D-Conn., Wears Awesome Outfit To Congressional Photo Opp"

*Ms DeLauro considers spats a fashion affectation

[highlight=#FFFF00]Good Lord! Komrade Squirrel Nuts, are you sure you didn't do a little more photo-editing than just the pocket?![/highlight]

Komrade,







Edit perfection? Surely you jest.

Grendelssohnovovich wrote:So, going to bed every night with the same woman, whom you know and who knows you, whom you love and who loves you, to whom you are mutually committed, shared sorrows and joys, mutually supported in failure and success, possibly shared sacrifices to raise other people to maturity and a functional life (children), and whom you know will be there in the morning, can make you happier and provide a better sex-life than trolling the bars/social media every night, hoping you can get lucky enough to find somebody else willing to settle for a hook-up/use you and be used for sex, hoping the beer-goggles/profile pic aren't lying too much (see above photos), hoping you don't catch some disease, and knowing that you'll have to do the same thing all over again tomorrow night or sleep alone...? Nope, I just can't possibly see how that could be true.

Very Progressively Yours,
Komrade Grendelssohnovovich

p.s. Don't show this to the wife.

Komrade Grendelssohnovovich, That's not very diverse of you at all. You should be ashamed.

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